Friday, April 03, 2009

it's true....i guess....


10 truths?? Good Lord! I'm pretty much an open book on this bloggie gabfest, except the deep dark secrets and I ain't sharin' with the world. It's a dilemma I tell you, but my beautiful friend Niki has tagged me to spill 10 juicy bits......lets hope what I come up with isn't too darn redundant.
Ready??


1. A bunch of eeejits told me that boobs shrink if you nurse babies. I am here to say that not only is that complete and utter bullshit, nursing makes them LARGELY SAG! I thank the Good Lord for push up bras.

2. While I'm on the topic.......a couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to go to a tanning salon. I was going to a reunion and wanted to look my best....as best can be.... So, I asked around at the office and it turned out most people had been to a tanning salon. I felt like a freak because i had never been. So, off I went with their blushing blessings. Well, the first time was very very weird. There I was buck naked lying on a heated, lighted bed in the basement of this spa.....knowing NO ONE knew I was there. I hated the big LID too close to my face. it made me claustrophic, which I am on my good days. Anyways....got through it and went back to the office proud of myself! The girls were proud of me, but also warned me to be careful next time..... They told me it was easy to burn my nipples and to place a towel across my breasts to avoid the pain. ok, fine.....

So, I go the next time....WITH music to listen to so I wouldn't freak over the coffin feeling of the tanning bed. I lay down, music on and then go to place the small towel over my breasts to protect those sensitive nips. Well guess what??? No worries there! The damn things were tucked under my armpits! Thank God for sagging breasts from nursing!! I had that going for me.

3. You want to woo me? A big bonfire, guitar strumming and some cheap white plonk......I melt. But, who the hell wants to woo a woman with saggy breasts whose nipples tuck under her armpits?

4. I collect phallic Pez dispensers. Everyone has to have a hobby, right?

5. Stir my brain and you've stirred my soul. In my books, there's nothing finer than a good mind......****

6. I had dinner with the Queen. She slurps her soup. Well, that's not true....but I did have dinner with her Royal Highness. Charming woman. Though I knew better not to touch her or put my arm around her unlike Michelle Obama. God, where did she learn her manners???

7. Absurdity is my best friend. That's why I believe nice guys finish lunch....not last....lunch.

8. If I won the lottery, I would flip the bird at the hand that feeds me, and take the trip of endless possibilities. Along the way, I would stop and pick up a few folks to join me because i don't like to travel alone.

9. My favourite parts of the week are Saturday mornings when I am FREE with no strings, time constraints, responsibilities.... I do as I please.... just me. Part of the morning you will find me at the local market....loveitloveit.... And, Sunday afternoons... I love Sunday afternoons putting in my kitchen and in my home... making dinner, writing, listening to the radio or music.... comtemplating, thinking, creating. I wish the whole week was a compilation of Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons.

10. hmmmm.......I was invited to go backstage once to meet Kenny Loggins (this of course was before nursing babies and I was still very perky!). I went, and it was quite anti-climatic because he was short and shy and had nothing to say, unlike the time I met and interviewed Harry Chapin...now that completely lived up to my expectations!! He put his arm around me and said.... "Now what can i do for you??" I was left freakin' gobsmacked....!

There you go Niki. Ten truths....after sipping on a bunch of crushed grapes....xx Gotta love plonk....now where's the fire??

9 comments:

pinkrelish said...

You are my priceless buddy...lol

Awareness said...

pink....why thank you...am a blushing buddy this morning! I can't believe I wrote that. It just came flying out of my fingers in about 1/2 hour!

Romany Angel said...

You are a wicked, wicked woman and I love it. You write so differently when you're on the grape juice but tell me, did you really have dinner with the Queen?

Nikita said...

Thanks darl'... thank you!

Awareness said...

Gypsy...Two glasses and the truth comes out. hahaha! Well, it's best to write silly stuff and veer far away from the maudlin crap that always lurks in the shadows too.

Yes, I had dinner with the Queen with 1000 other colonials. But, the table I was sitting at was right in front of the head table, which gave me a birds eye view of a woman who didn't seem too darn enthused about the whole affair. I think i would rather have had a chance to muck about in wellies with her on her Balmoral property. But, it was elegant and very very cool.
And I know you're also wondering if I was telling the truth about my breasts TOO? :)

Niki....oh you're very welcome....though I was tempted to take the post down this morning. It's a little over the top, but well.......so is life, eh?

Anonymous said...

Dana:
I don't want to take away from your saggy boobs that tuck under your arm pits, but, when I get up to go to the bathroom in the night I have to kick my along in from of me always afraid I will step or trip on them
Mavis

Awareness said...

Mavis...you gave me the best laugh of the day! Aren't they a pain in the ass?

Independent Chick said...

Love this. Thanks for the giggle.
PS #8, I'll drive. ; )

Awareness said...

Stacey...! If I win the lotto....we will enjoy a limo. Did you hear about Marilyn from the Irving who won 4 million last week? Amazing!! She's still working waiting for it to clear because they have to make sure there was no hanky panky because she works there.