Spending time with a special friend from your past who holds similar endearing memories seems to be more of a rarity as we age. Time, distance, overall busyness and other responsibilities we have commited to hold our lives hostage and away from the people we consider crucial to the make-up of our personal story. Funny, these are the reasons why we do need to make an effort to reconnect. Plus, special friends make you feel whole again.
It is so easy to float away into the blur of doing. We all have unending to do lists that if left to take control and lead our shortening days, can very quickly strangle the very essence of who you are. If we remain in the realm of always and dutifully playing the roles we assume in our daily routines.....partner, mom, daughter, worker, sister, driver, volunteer, neighbour, cook, cleaner, helper, hostess, counsellor, advocate, window washer, doer, doer, doer ....... we lose our core being. It just evaporates. Well, maybe its just that the spritzing in our essence takes a long hiatus under the masks of our own making. I don't know about you, but when I feel this floating unanchored feeling, I know I'm in need of being realigned by a touchstone in my life.
I remember when I was backpacking through Europe years ago with a friend. This was before technology took over our ways and means of communicating...of touching base. There were no avenues for instant messaging. We didn't have the opportunity to say we were one finger touch away. When you travel like that, there is a wonderful sense of being only responsible for yourself. There is a taste of freedom in the days while exploring newness with your eyes and ears and heart. It is a balm for unleashing one's potential and for stretching your boundaries. New people you meet along the way in what seems like happenstance but in truth are unmistakably fateful.....whom you share big moments together....the ones you know will be with you for the rest of your life as a stoptime exhilaration. Adventures are like that....both mind FULL and mindful.
For four months, everyday was like that. And every single night, I made an attempt to capture it in my journal and in letters to family and friends who were at home. It kept the homesickness at bay...the feeling of belonging and not free floating from one experience to another was somehow assuaged by this act. However, about every 2 or 3 weeks, I would wake up with this unbelievable need to call home. I had to alleviate a more intense urgency to make sure everything was fine, but also to ensure myself that it was real. I needed a good spritzing. Once that happened, I was good to go.
Yesterday two special friends met again. We caught up on each other's lives, shared a few new dreams, and strolled back to a time when we were in each others lives deeply. Our rambling untethered conversation (the very best kind) ran the gamut of emotions just like it should....just like it needs to if a it is a truly golden friendship. Its what a good spritzing of one's essence feels like. Meaningful, mindful........meaning FULL and mind FULL and almost enough to keep you afloat until the next time.
I just wish the next time wasn't so unknown....or far away......
Touchstones from our own stories bring life and purpose to our unfolding daily gaze. Touchstones give us the fortitude to step out again with our backpacks on in order to forge ahead into the mystery of a new day. Why? Because inside their essence is an unabiding unconditional love for you....and inside your newfound essence is an unabiding unconditional love.
Expressed, felt, known in the comfortable grace nestled between the words, it fills you with a nourishment you can only find when you connect with a person whose tapestry includes some of your own....those threads which glisten with love. And you know what? You can climb any mountain carrying a heavy knapsack if you know you are fondly loved.