They float within the stream of your conciousness looking for a pore to trickle and drip out of. Sometimes they are harboured deeply, pushed and repressed down into a forgotten recess which only a dark dream can discover when our guard is down. They then slip up to the forefront of our thinking where they itch from the inside until you become aware of its presence again....until you acknowledge it as a reality.
Sometimes holding onto one is like trying to grasp an anchor made slippery from seaweed and kelp.
Sometimes we feel like we've thrown it away, we've let go of our role as keeper of the internal light.......its been cast off into the deep waters to float away unrecognize and unable to hurt or to change our course in life.Sometimes, they retch out of us like projectiles in need of release.....gotta get them out.....gotta share NOW....
We rely on them as contracts held and promises kept, and yet they dance within us and twirl around the sirens named desire and temptation. We even seek them out, yet they entangle us in the long reeds of mystery, trapped in the glowing temptress of imagination. Reality becomes blurred as we hold our breath in an attempt to gain control over our own invaded thoughts. Alluring, it can leave you stunned by its flirtatious nature.
A cousin of desire, a sister of a dream.........they enslave you behind a mask made of clay. Only porous clay. Even if we fire that clay with a beautiful glaze to give it strength to hold back truth, those sneaky secrets have the capacity to reveal themselves. They may bring joy, surprise, and celebration with them, or they may accompany shock, dismay and sorrow. It all depends on what it is made of. It all depends on who the keeper decides to share it with and how it is received. They are powerful little atoms which can be used as threats and coercion......you throw the gauntlet down by adding a seemingly innocent secret to the mix and you have the capacity to create emotional, spiritual and physical havoc. One little revealed secret can do that.
On the other hand.......there are many hidden gems which if shared with the right person can lift you up out of a place of vulnerability and into a sense of being understood..... maybe for the very first time.
We are complicated beings. Many of our own secrets lay dormant in the pulse of our souls and we have yet to discover them ourselves. These tend to reveal themselves when the timing is right.....when we have taken a risk to meditatively sit in stillness where we begin to hear the echoing message rise up into our awareness. Stark and shadowy at first, they can evolve quickly into new starting point in our journey.....like we are given the gift of a freshly staked signpost.
We choose who we share our innermost demons, dreams and desires with people we have an intuitive notion, whom we can trust. They are few and far between. Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we choose the wrong person. Sometimes we tell someone a secret only to have it bite you back with a sign of vengeful judgement wrapped around it. Nothing feels worse than when that happens. Betrayal is forever a foe.
Many are never revealed. But, we have strong premonitions that they exist, that they may be out there. Many remain a mystery for us to follow as part of our destiny where leap of faith showers our trusting tendancies and tickles our inherent motivation to carry on as pilgrims in search of revelation. Its the spicy aroma of a secret in need of unveiling which tantalizes the explorer in our souls.
What are your well kept secrets?? What are your secrets left to be unveiled even to you?