We have chosen to be who we are, with all that is beautiful and broken in us. We do not slip away from life and live in a world of illusions, dreams, or nightmares. We become present to reality and to life so that we are free to live according to our personal conscience, our sacred sanctuary, where love resides within us and we see others as they are in the depth of their being. We are not letting the light of life within us be crushed, and we are not crushing it in others. On the contrary, all we want is for the light of others to shine.
I really want to meet this Christian Humanitarian who lives and breathes his beliefs..... Personally however, I struggle with trying to apply the tenets he espouses on a daily basis. My friend Pip frequently writes about loving the unlovely. I tend to dismiss my own self. I am the first to discard my own unloveliness because I get wrapped up in the deprecating shame and embarrassment of not being able to live up to the standards of what is considered lovely.
When i'm tired and frayed at the edges this foreboding feeling like an ugly freak who is acquiring more wrinkles on her face and errant hair in the wrong places.....whose eyelids are droopier and whose skin is aquiring lumps and bumps......whose hands look like they have spent 30 years working the land......I can't seem to summon up the enthusiastic acceptance of the ugly parts of me. And if I do....I don't believe myself. Ok, I do believe I have very cute feet.
happiness? fleeting at best......maybe its all humans have the capacity to muster when it is tied only to the extremities? How does one find this internal glow of gladness if one can't recognize the beauty of their own unique broken bits? I guess it comes down to perspective. And perspective needs a good night's sleep in order to work properly. Oh, and its best not to look in the mirror when you're hungover either.