Wednesday, March 18, 2009

walk on.........


"This search for meaning is as ancient as the awakening of the first question;
it is as new and urgent as the question that is troubling you now."
John O'Donahue

Meaning is a long meandering walk on terrain that changes as does the contoured landscape it buffers. So often we are confronted with an illusion that the roadway ends....that perhaps meaning isn't a synonym for infinity where the road stretches onward. Our vision can only take us to the precipice of the horizon....we don't have the capacity to physically see beyond that liminal line. It darkens at the crest and leaves meaning precariously wavering.

Could it be the fear of losing all meaning....of watching it tip over into the eternal abyss that sends us careening towards the horizon with the urgency of a victim leaving a burning house?

Could it be the fear of the unknown that cements our feet to the pavement, stuck in the anxious urgency we feel boiling inside our nerve endings as we gaze out at meaning dangerously lodged on that pernumbral horizon?

My God it can be baffling.

Meaning lives on. Damn if it is usually one or two steps ahead of us beyond our grasp. Sometimes though it sits quietly within. When this happens, meaning transforms into grace.

The roadway never ends. It just changes terrain. It has to or the mystery behind meaning would be unveiled permanently,.... completely. Then what? Do we really want all the answers?

7 comments:

Gilly said...

That is profound and wonderful writing. And it is what I feel. If I could write like that I would have written it! "Meaning precariously wavering" is where my mind is consantly, fretfully, lingering. Why can't I get there? Because it is just over the horizon. So near, and yet so far off. My reach is not enough.

Anonymous said...

I dont know if I want the 'meaning' Im beginining to think each interaction (real or on the net) is the meaning. Each fragile touch with another human is a lesson.

I think fear holds us in her palm. I think when we accept loss then we fear nothing, then we can step from the abyss..

Tis funny u posted this..I met someone, I feel deeply 4 who is going through change. Uninstigated by him I just want to say to him, jump, I will hold your hand, have faith in your God and myself..

I dont know if God is baffling, I think we as humans are (think hes pretty damn direct) but we like to think ourselves complex

I would say dont look at the meaning but accept what is offered around you....

Ive probably gone way off track here chick. Do we really want the answers?

For me no... I want to live the journey, as scarey though familiar as it is... I am after all a child of humanity ... x

awareness said...

Gilly...thank you. I was inspired by Paul's latest piece. I was struck by the line underneath his photo...that the roadway ends. I don't believe that. I believe it is an infinite roadway....destination unknown most of the time, but it continues beyond our lives in both directions.

A'Jay....I believe that too, which is why I continue to use this venue to write and to share in. The connnections I've made with people like you are deeply meaningful to me....

Fear does hold us in her palm and it truly is motivating if we allow it to be (instead of paralyzing...)

I meant that meaning can be baffling not God. My faith seems to be growing everyday....and maybe it's because i am learning how to take different risks and to sit still more often to try to figure out whats going on in my head. What I have learned is that it is through the process of writing I feel the closest to God.

Meaning wavers....but I am too am more inclined to look at the horizon in awe and enjoy the beautiful colours it provides.

Mark said...

There was a comic who once asked "If I had everything, where would I put it?".
This journey we are on is never about where we are going, it is always about the changing terrain and the lessons along the way.

BlazngScarlet said...

Think about it .... we already know the ultimate destination, so why be concerned over THAT?
How we get there is what matters. The journey.
The people we meet along the way, the challenges as well as the triumphs, the ever changing scenery and yes ... the fear.

Sometimes along the way, we get sidetracked and spend time in dark, desolate places ... but those too are needed.
It's when we can't leave that place behind and move forward that our journey becomes impeded and stagnate.

Are you enjoying your journey so far?

Walker said...

There will never be an end to the search of meaning,
It’s as infinite as there are seconds in time.
With every answer a new question is born.
Different paths lead into an infinite number of directions as there are minds with questions needing answers.
Some times the answers are different for the same questions.

Not everyone searches, only those who are compelled to search about what the meaning of life is or what life is all about continue.
Some find the walk tedious while others get pulled by it's magnetic pull.
We all have the urge to chase what's next but it comes down to having the will to follow the next step.
While there are those who stop and accept their fate up to that point, to just live life with what they know.
Generations have followed footsteps set forth by their forefathers and still search for what's next.

Maybe the meaning of life is the search.
To constantly ask the questions, to look for the answer and what they mean.

awareness said...

Mark...you know i wonder if we already do have everything if we know we are loved and we are capable of sharing our own love. its held in our hearts and shown in our actions.
to bad it can't pay the rent. :)

Scarletina....yes i am enjoying it....the good, the bad and the beautiful. ironically its when we are in those dark recesses and feel the ugliest...its when we allow our bruises and scars to show that we grow the most as human beings unfolding. don't you think??? we sometimes may not realize it when its happening because it hurts like hell.

walker...beautifully put. i agree...seeking plays a huge role in feeding our awareness. i don't ever want to go to sleep and wake up at the end of my life. I've slept enough days away.