Lily, our canine matriarch. Photo by Martha.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Heartwrenching brokenness
The series of falls are painful, bruising, hard and deep before one can reach out for the first rung with the understanding and the surrendering needed for the journey up the 12 steps.
Physically, emotionally, spiritually, holistically.
Humbly.
Honestly
Reflectively
Purposefully
I have had the privilege of learning from the experts. Their raw feelings seep out of their skin electrifying the air when they share a slice of reflections. Broken admissions blend with a hopeful heart scarred by scraping knuckles and knees in search of serenity.
Stories spill.
Wishes spill.
Tears come easily because they live just under the sensitive surface.
Prayers repeated until they are at last heard.....until they finally come from a deep holiness which sits in the pit of blackhole transformation. Prayers spoken until they are birthed into a home where loving guiding hands await the surrendering.
Palms upward and open....friends, family, strangers, God.
I have learned from the experts. Beautiful and broken..... they know the story. They know it can't be done alone. They know it needs love and unconditional acceptance. God has that in abundance. So do we.
You know, i'm left this morning wondering if these are truly the steps we all need to consider attempting. They are the learning steps towards living a life with humbling grace and forgiveness of ourselves and others.
10 comments:
I think that program is great for anyone to follow!
"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference"
Amen
Judy...I do too....with or without an addiction. I was speaking to this wonderful person yesterday about the 12 steps and he commmented that he wished the church hierarchy would embrace it and live by it too. I agreed with him.
Niki...amen. a prayer we should all say every night eh? yes....:)
Dana, I can't help but feel that these words are written for me today (not meaning you had me in mind, but meaning I needed to hear them). I have been wrestling with the fact that everywhere I turn I hear that I must work the Steps in order to help myself even if my son chooses not to help himself. I've heard others say that these are LIFE steps not just for addicts. I guess perhaps they are....thanks for writing this in your unique and beautiful words.
I tried to leave you a comment here when I was at work this morning but our system wouldn't let me...I think I basicallly wrote what kenju and you were saying....how all of us, whether we are addicts or not, can learn and live by these 12 steps. I often wonder why the church-well the evangelical church- never embraced the 12 steps...it is our faith!!
As a couple of people have already said, these are wise words to live by, with or without an addiction.
Layla....only you can make that decision....no "musts" from someone else....do you know what i mean? There are other parents who have walked this who can guide you as a sponsor.
Karyne....you said it!
Gypsy...they are wise steps I think. It seems to me they represent anyone's journey to accepting faith and realizing we all need help from the Big Guy above.
I have often heard it shared that there should be a 12-step program for everyone... or that it should be taught, somehow, in school - perhaps in more secular terms.
Perhaps.
But it's more than just what the steps bring to the life of a suffering addict (all varieties, not just drugs and alcohol), it's the support and the fellowship from those who have experienced the same debilitating condition. In the acceptance gained in Step 1 and the surrender gained through Step 3, we are open to new possibilities shown to be a real by those who have taken the same path and achieved freedom.
I don't believe everyone needs a 12-step program, but it's also true that probably more than those afflicted with addiction could benefit. There is an awful lot of denial in the world and even more blaming others (people, institutions, etc.) for one's lot in life. I have, though much of my own self-inflicted pain, come to the realization that no matter where any blame might lie, ultimately I have to live with myself - my serenity begins, and ends, with me. The steps have given me a method to live life one day at a time without carrying around all the past injustices (real or perceived) that would take me down time and time again.
I think you are so right. We can ALL do The Twelve Steps and this will be a MUCH MUCH Better World!
Years ago, a good friend was nurturing a "baby" in AA...My friend had about 8 years at that time----Now, close to 38...And he said such an interestung thing that I never forgot....One of his "baby's" was having a hard time with the concept of God, and even the idea of a Higher Power..He said to this guy...Make anything your Higher Power...What about The Ocean? Do you think you can control the Ocean?" And the guy said, NO, he didn't think he could...So my friend said...Make The Ocean your Higher Power. It is something GREATER than you, and that is the whole idea.....!
BRILLIANT, really.
And like you, I think this program is good for "living" a truthful meaningfull life, with honesty!
Who wouldn't want to get the BEST life hand to offer?
Mike...I appreciate your candor and how you've nailed what it is I believe needs to be embraced. I don't believe we all should take on the process. Instead it is the very essence of the fellowship felt within the realm of an AA group which could benefit us all. Love and belonging....forgiveness and letting go. We are all victims to some extent of our personal histories....some much more serious than others. As William Glasser espouses (and I do believe he gleaned much of his other theoretical counselling base on the concepts of the 12 step program) our behaviour is our best attempt to get what we want at that moment. How we manage ourselves, how we choose to react, respond, interpret, assimilate is based on our choices. What we think and how we feel are not controlled by anyone except ourselves....as are our actions. And in the long run, we have to learn to cut ourselves some slack and learn to forgive....and then move on.
I spoke with a gentle soul this week. He described part of the process as an attempt to forge out a new path....to not return to the path that has been trodden and beaten down over and over again with no different results. He said he wanted to forge a new path and let the grass and hay grow up and over the old one so he couldn't see it or return to it again. This led to a discussion on Robert Frost's poem which he had never read before. I printed it off for him and he smiled when he got to the last stanza. :)
thanks friend.
Naomi. I think thats brilliant! It is believing is something bigger than us. Whether it the ocean, the forests, the mountains....whether it's a greek goddess...it doesn't matter in the long run does it?
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