The prompt this week for Sunday Scribblings left me scrambling to catch up to a whole slew of ideas marching by. Worst job, Best job, Dream job???? Wow! That's a loaded prompt for a navel gazing gal like moi.....one who just happens to be in a prickly predicament on the career front right about now.
Love the job.........hate the scenario.
So, I thought it best to write about my dream job......a little bit of this and that.......
Well, guess what? That left a bitter taste in my mouth....... it was a dream job piece of writing based on a foundation of nasty medicine. There I was POUNDING on the keys like a banshee letting out cries for the dead, all the while trying to write a light uplifting hopeful quality world post full of sweet touching faerie promise. Could the gap of feeling be any wider?
So, then I thought I'd write something about a previous job, with the intentions of focusing on my favourite place I have worked. It was a lovely learning environment which actually has been my anchor and home for revisiting the values and goals I still have for my career. But, I've written about it before, and I still was harbouring negative stuff in my head from my first attempt.
So.........I went in another completely different direction. Why not attempt a poem about JOBS? Well, I don't know about you, but I can't write a poem on demand.....if it's pushed and pulled out of my heart, it feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO contrived. Poetry is an unexpected gift. Can't expect an unexpected gift.......can't even hope for it! The poem was trashed....deleted with one pointer finger.
Time away from the topic, I began to whistle about on this Sunday afternoon making a big pot of savoury sauce, chopping fresh vegies from the market, cooking meatballs, squeezing the garlic, crumpling the oregano......stirring and simmering........listening to a variety of good upbeat music. A bit of live Springsteen..........an ALL NEW Mark Knopfler CD (love it!) and some vintage Al Green........smooth..............jazzy.............his voice is a poetic gift........of warm brandy and soft lights. Al Green is dreaming music.................
........times are good and bad and happy and sad......
I could sense the gap of feelings merge......as I began to find my light footed sunday afternoon dance......dancing with Al........
Instead of focusing on my OWN personal career path, all of a sudden I was flushed by a face of a young man fresh out of school who found himself nervously sitting in my office ready to tell me all about HIS dream job, in hopes that I could help him reach that goal. He wanted to work in the woods.........not as a forestry graduate. He just wanted to work in the woods cutting and sledging and whatever they do in the woods. It was attainable for him.........he just needed to know how to start and who to talk to. All within an hour, we had a gameplan. He left my office with a list of to dos and the knowledge that he COULD do what he wanted to do.
Then, I was visited by a memory of a man who was my age. Somehow he had managed to scrape by, working beyond his capabilities without knowledge of a severe learning disability until he had an Arts degree under his belt. With very limited ability to write a coherent paper, I don't know how he found the way. But he did. His dream though was to become a Minister.....he needed the help of technology and of others to guide him through the next phase of his learning. We worked together intensely, arranging all of this to make it happen. He's now out there somewhere with his own congregation.......and with a big heart of understanding.
And it makes me smile........big feeling seeping smiles..........of helping others find their way. This is the part of my job I LOVE.
It's funny how certain encounters from hundreds of encounters can float up to clarity when you take the time to remember........ when you take the time to step away from your own intense thinking, from your own navel gazing tactics. Sometimes it just takes just the right music to set the mood to make it happen.
Dream job? Good job, bad job...........attainable, out of reach..........wishing to alleviate the barriers to the job..........ability, disability, capability, reachability..........these are discussions I have the priviledge of taking part in with other people almost everyday. Why? Because I'm a Career Consultant. That's my official job title, and my primary role when it comes the career counselling stuff is to be a motivator, listener, cheerleader, and sometimes the realist. Most of the time though, I get to encourage BIG DREAMING. Lots of big dreams get tossed about in my office!
Somedays, it feels like I'm only a baby step ahead of the person I'm supposed to be helping simply because I too am an unfinished human being (my REAL job) seeking my own goals. But that's alright. It keeps me on my toes, just like a dynamic teacher who knows they will learn more from their students than they will EVER be able to pass on.........
We are all learning together, aren't we?
The last beautiful face to slip by me this afternoon was a young waif who sought me out one morning and asked me if I would have a coffee with her. This was years ago, when her daughter was just a baby and when I wasn't even a parent myself yet. Lost and surrounded by drugs and violence.......of unhealthy relationships and no support...........she had one dream. She wanted to be a nurse but she only had completed grade 7. Through some aptitude testing, it was obvious that this little waif was a diamond in the rough. She scored off the map......... So, I enrolled her at the high school level of upgrading.
She promised to seek me out whenever she hit a wall, and I promised to never let her quit despite any circumstances. Within two very tough and very emotional years of ups and downs of hardships we can't even imagine, she graduated and moved into a nursing program. She had her wings..........and off she went out of my life.
Five years later? We met again on the maternity floor at the local hospital. She was dressed in her nursing uniform, and I had a newborn in my arms and needed some guidance from her. She has never looked back.
I don't really know where this is headed........kind of like my career path right now. What I do know is that there are parts of my current job which fill me with such joy and satisfaction that I find it difficult to consider giving that part of it up. It's a navel gazing conundrum......one which I have had to entertain for too long now. ....... one which I need resolve. Better get back to the stirring and simmering......and the music in the background. I seem to do my best thinking and reminiscing on Sunday afternoons.
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. That makes it hard to plan the day." EB White
*****ps If anyone is trying to reach me by phone, the line has been dead for three days. We are not being rude....... We don't know you've called. Hopefully it will be up and running Monday. As far as the internet? I'm "lunching on someone's else's dime" in the neighbourhood. Long live wireless internet sources!!