got an agenda?

if you're going to have an agenda, at least make it friendly.

this is the journal my friend Heather made me to take on my travels.

It seems to me that one of the worst inventions humans ever created was an agenda.  I have one.  You have one.  My neighbour has one.  So does yours.  They come in all colours, shapes and sizes.  Book form, electronic, or a calendar posted on the kitchen wall..... we live by our agendas.   Some don't share theirs AT ALL.  They keep it all tucked away in their brains and let it fuel their mission. They remind us of what we want and what we must do to get what we want.  They hold our schedules, timetables, deadlines, appointments so we don't have to think about them.  Those navigators are necessary to free up our minds in order to pursue pot of gold goals.  You know, some people even testify that their agenda is a Godsend.  hmmmm............ Can't live without an agenda. 

Isn't that crazy?  Can you see why I suggest they are the worst invention ever?  No.......... Well, here's more.  They drive our choices, our days, our lives and make us single mindedly blind to the agenda of another.  You see, my agenda is more important than yours.  Isn't that right?  What I want is WAY more important than what you want.  I know this for a fact because I have a full agenda.  Yours has gaps. In fact. I know most of your agenda and it's ridiculous! Who in their right mind wants those things???

So often I know my agenda clashes with yours, but since I need to be rigid in my pursuit to get what I want accomplished, I'm not really concerned what yours holds. Mine's more important than yours.  My agenda. All MINE. And the more I rely on it...........on the so VERY important items that drive my mission to succeed, to WIN, the more psyched I am to do whatever it takes.  I have absolutely NO TIME to get to know you..... I'm way too busy getting my needs met.

At night, when we finally collapse in a heap on the couch after a full agenda day........of pushing to get what we want, to be recognized with email accolades, coffee mug prizes and air mile bonuses for trips we never have time for; when we let our guard down as we sink into a soft landing pad after clashing with other people intent on jousting for their pie of the agenda pie....... silent reality hits just for a scary split second.  Alone, except for our selfish attitudes.  It is only then we have the opportunity to address what is really important in life, but oddly is missing on the pages of our agenda scribblings ........ love, friendship, compassion, serving others, connecting, sharing.  

Then we push that aside.... pffffffft to that!  WE've got better fish to fry than that mushy stuff.  Let some do gooder social work type deal with that crap.  Besides, I've got church services booked in my trusty agenda.  I can listen to that sermon on Sunday.  Same old, same old.......

Sadly, the gas tank is empty anyways.  After a long day of working our agenda, we have no energy left.   Too tired to reflect.  Too tired to look in the mirror.  Too tired to care. So, we uncork the bottle of wine and pour ourselves a glass to toast ourselves as we close the book on another day. 

Gee....it sounds like one hand clapping.

 Excerpt from Obama's Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech. 

"Adhering to this law of love has always been the core struggle of human nature. We are fallible. We make mistakes, and fall victim to the temptations of pride, and power, and sometimes evil. Even those of us with the best intentions will at times fail to right the wrongs before us. 

But we do not have to think that human nature is perfect for us to still believe that the human condition can be perfected. We do not have to live in an idealized world to still reach for those ideals that will make it a better place. The non-violence practiced by men like Gandhi and King may not have been practical or possible in every circumstance, but the love that they preached - their faith in human progress - must always be the North Star that guides us on our journey.  

For if we lose that faith - if we dismiss it as silly or naïve; if we divorce it from the decisions that we make on issues of war and peace - then we lose what is best about humanity. We lose our sense of possibility. We lose our moral compass. 

Like generations have before us, we must reject that future. As Dr. King said at this occasion so many years ago, "I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history. I refuse to accept the idea that the 'isness' of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the eternal 'oughtness' that forever confronts him."

So let us reach for the world that ought to be - that spark of the divine that still stirs within each of our souls."

December 10, 2009

gimme shelter....

How does someone living in the land of plenty end up living in squalor down by the river? How does a human being grow up only to be discarded, abandoned, invisible and forgotten? I took these photos of a small outdoor nesting place for a few homeless people in the city of Fredericton. Located down by the edge of the Saint John River, so close to the Delta Hotel that you could shoot your spit and it would most likely hit the bricks. Haves and Have Not's residing as neighbours. The Have Not's know it. The Haves are oblivious. The neighbour on the other side? The Lieutenant Governor's mansion. Nice......

The area is referred to by government and community organizations, and the media as "tent city." Its hardly a city when you compare it to the excessively enormous shanty towns and makeshift communities under overpasses in larger centres. But, it is what it is....a home for the homeless, the transients......the human beings who have either chosen to live outside rather than in, or who cannot and will not abide by the rules of the local Shelters.

If you were walking quickly, or biking leisurely along this portion of the Trans Canada trail, chances are you wouldn't notice the hidden pathways leading to small clearings where human beings have congregated. Summer fauna overlaps the entrances and keeps the secrets behind the leaves...... sort of. Attention has been given to the handful of homeless people by a locally formed committee that was set up to "deal" with the issue. Deemed as dangerous and unsafe due to mental illness, addictions, lawlessness, there is an urgency to rectify the "problem" by finding alternative living arrangements.

There are some who want to use strong tactics to get these "filthy dirty addicts..." out of the city altogether. Put them on a bus.... move them to another town. Get rid of the problem. Quick and clean...resolve the issue by pushing it on. This "approach" reeks of impatience and disregard. No time or interest in finding out why another human being has fallen so far down and away from "functioning in the community" or being "self-sufficiently independent," these strongarmed bureaucrats see them as an issue that needs to be managed. No time to be curious or to see how beneficial it would be to connect in some way with these Tent people in order to learn WHY and WHAT HAPPENED...... They probably spend more time discussing what colour their new office furniture is going to be than truly caring enough to take the time to understand the individual human beings who have fallen.

There are others who sit across from the strongarm types who are quick to say...... Give them housing. They bark out their politics to anyone who will listen .... the issue is not enough affordable housing. The government doesn't have enough affordable housing!! Oh yeah, if only we had a place to park them that would solve the problem, now wouldn't it? hmmmmm......... no. It's not that simple. It also isn't that simple just to pour money into a bottomless pit with no foundation either. Housing doesn't make a home.

If we had all the money in the world, would the issue of homelessness be solved?

Homelessness is a symptom of a much larger systemic problem where one social service department or agency works in a silo providing their goods, while another offers up another package of goods and no one communicates effectively. Communities don't get off scot free either. Its not just a "problem" for the public sector to manage! Everyone plays a role because it isn't an "issue" that has to be solved. It's not a "problem" that has an easy fix answer like some math equation.

A person living on the streets, or down by the river, or in a tent in the woods, on a park bench, in a car, under a bridge, may have a handful of people whom they receive some form of assistance from. Social assistance, food, methadone, addictions counselling, shelter options, medical assistance. Sadly, not one of those helping frontline people have the capacity within the confines of their job description to fully assist this human being. Why? Time. Work constraints. Designated roles and responsibilities don't allow for it. Lack of genuine political will. Lack of financial resources. Community fear. Bias.

So, the perpetual problem continues...... and every now and then when the neighbourhood raises their ire, or when the Queen comes to town the issue of homelessness hits the front page of the local newspaper. Then, it dies down.......... becomes invisible and the human being Have Not's are lost beyond the margins, away from any attention.

Autumn is now here...... and the nights are colder.

home....

We are 142 years old today.

Every year there seems to be more and more Canadian patriotic paraphenalia out there in consumer land for our purchasing pleasure most of which makes me laugh...especially the Moose motif stuff. Gotta love our gangly Moose.

My son and I were in the local dollar store the other day to stock up on a few of these items so he can take them to Costa Rica when he attends a CISV village in late December and use them as traders with the other kids who will be there from around the world. We stood in front of the HUGE display which ranged from hilarious hats shaped like leaves to dancing beavers, maple leaf key chains, tatoos, frisbees, squishy footballs, stuffed moose, neck ties (FOR A BUCK!) and were in fits of laughter over the tackiness of the lot. Of course, we were determined to grab the best kitsch we could. Let's hope he's allowed through customs with that Canuck craziness in his suitcase.

When I was a kid, the annual fireworks were lit on Victoria Day in May. This was the tradition. We all saw it as the beginning of summer.....the first long weekend. Of course as members of the Commonwealth, we all understood the seriousness of celebrating Queen Victoria's birthday in style.....er, I guess...... by blowing off little checker firecrackers and running around with abandon holding onto a sparkler, also known as a piece of wire on fire.

Though we still have the long weekend in May, and the Monday of it is still recognized as her birthday (funny how it changes dates every year). But, somewhere along the line, our country's fireworks celebration moved to July 1rst, Dominion Day.....the day we recognize as the anniversary of our national status within the Commonwealth. Maybe we switched because it was easier to make a cake in the form of a maple leaf flag than the head of a sexually inhibited sourpuss? Or maybe we began to embrace our own sense of pride, separate from another country?

Obviously it wasn't an overnight thing.....one day we scoured at any display of patriotism and the next day we adorned our homes in all things red and white? No. It was a gradual, albeit swift turn around. Even now, I would wager a bet that most Canadians feel an attachment to this vast and magnificent wilderness we call home more so when we cross its borders? But there is definately a different feel to our celebration of our "home and native land...." Hence, the desire to don a goofy leaf pointed hat, pull on a Moose motif t-shirt and go with the flow of our known sense of humour while sucking back a few pints and singing off key?

Did you know Canadians are a very funny lot? Absurdity is in our blood. Satire swims all around us. We crack each other up! And it turns out we do a pretty good job exporting our finest comedians. I think it has to do with choosing to remain on this freakingly cold tundra in February and go about our daily routines like it was just a little irritation to start your car when its -40 degrees and a wind chill? You gotta LAUGH! You gotta bundle up too or you will die!

Then of course there is a that wonderful myth created by the late Pierre Berton who stated that you know you're Canadian when you can make love in a canoe. Ask any Canadian if they've accomplished this feat and they will affirmatively reply, with a sly smile and a look in their eye that tells you..... wouldn't you like to know how this is done? Ah, its all in the balancing between the thwarts. Its in the melodic movement of the gunnels....its how you hold your paddle.... Is there any other country who defines their patriotism through such a lens? We crack each other up.

There are definately benchmark events which foisted us forward into a more contented place. It wasn't so long ago when our national past time was a collectively navel gaze..... where the cry of the "True north strong and free" wasn't an anthem we now sing loudly at sports event and instead was "Who are we? How are we different than our neighbours to the south? How do we define ourselves...." Such nervous nellie self absorption is finally disappearing. We have grown up a bit. We've won our fair share of international hockey tournaments. We gave the world Celine and Shania.

Dominion Day. In 1982, the same year the Canadian Constitution and Charter of Rights was signed, Dominion Day was renamed Canada Day. Hindsight makes me wonder if this was the turning point. Before this significant moment, maybe we were allowing someone else to make our beds? Whatever caused us to stop feeling so damn inferior and to care so much about that fact that the rest of the world doesn't really give a rat's ass about our identity, I'm glad. Why? Because what matters most is how we have come to terms about our own selves as multi cultural individuals who call this place home. The confidence felt is new to us. But it will be our growing confidence along with the accumulative stretch marks from eating the most recent national food concoction...."poutine...." (dont ask! it's gross! I'd rather smoke pine needles) that will allow us to shine on any international stage. Or not.

When I was 18 years old, I flew across the pond for the first time with a backpack on my back and a much searched for Canadian flag patch stitched on the outside of it. I had to look high and low for it. For one thing, there were no dollar stores around, and I didn't live in the middle of a tourist hotspot like Niagara Falls where touristy kitchy gift shops were at every corner. It was a different time. Patriotism was kept under wraps. Patriotism was frowned upon as a tacky display of emotional wanking best left to the flag waving country below the 49th parallel. But, I found one, and proudly sewed it onto my backpack. And I'm glad I did. Because every time someone saw that little flag, they would ask me questions about my home....my country, and I would have to think about how I would describe it's beauty, it's strength, it's people......its history.

Like many of my neighbours, we learned our patriotism....and our heart filled fondness for Canada by leaving it's borders and looking from a far. At age 18, I began to see just how lucky I was to proudly state that I am a Canadian. Though, it was said in a tentative whisper compared to my open flag waving loud anthem singing boldness of today. OH, who am I kidding?? I may be wearing my very best moose t-shirt today, and I will definately take part in some of the Canada Day celebrations this afternoon down on the beautiful Green along the Saint John River. Fireworks are in the plans after a big potluck at a friend's house. But, when it's time to sing O Canada? My boldness will quickly evaporate and my silly red pointed leaf hat will be lifted off my head. My heart will fill with gratitude.....and I will lose my way in the meaning of the words. I'm too much of a softie...... and our anthem always leaves me choked up and in tears much to the embarrassment of my family. It's a good thing they're used to it.

This place I call home......? I loveitloveitloveit.....

Happy Canada Day.....with a glowing heart from me

melancholy hues

will you meet me by the shoreline
blue upon blues
and we’ll share our heartheld secrets
dipped in melancholy hues?

will you meet me by the water
skin touching skin
and we’ll share our intimate stories
held deeply within?

will you meet me in the morning
when promise holds such light
and we’ll let the tears glisten to the surface
until our sadness turns to delight?

I would like to be standing on the shoreline looking out at the blue with you, soaking in the medicinal pleasures of tidal breezes on a blustery summer's day. I envisioned this escape scene clearly this afternoon while reflecting on the news I received earlier in the day.

I even closed my eyes and let my imagination paint the shoreline picture so I could feel it like I was really there watching you walk down the beach to meet me instead of trying to wrap my head around the reality of what was really happening in my office. Not only did it help centre me and allow for a moment of meditative calm (as it always does when I do manage to get to the shoreline), it lifted me to a place where reflections and perspective creeped onto my numbness....temporarily. It was only short term because I did have to face the music.

The bad news? After waiting and expecting for months for the axe to fall, it finally did. My position was cut along with every other similiar position across the province. 22 of us.....all Career Consultants who support the Case Managers in the frontlines. A victim of the times in a disposable world of work.

The good news? We are being moved to another department to work on a project. Given the economic climate we all live in, I should feel more gratitude that I still have a job to go to. But, I am not there yet.....partly because I know that some things I do now will never be picked up by another person, and those things hold the meaning for me. Plus, there is no choice here....having no choice sucks.

Many details are unknown, but I'm fairly certain that the ones who are the most vulnerable....the ones who live beyond the margins of the marginalized? They will not be a part of my future. Frighteningly, I think they may have lost whatever voice they had managed to maintain. As for community development and prevention? When the "times" tank economically, everyone goes into reactive mode. Prevention is a luxury I guess. So is quality time making deep connections. It doesn't add up properly on the master spreadsheet.

Will you meet me by the shoreline, blue upon blues?
I'll be there looking for you.

making the untenable transform into one spoken word.

Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

Martin Luther King Jr.

The other day, I had to grab a cab from downtown to get home. Unlike my memorable trip to find Pip's house, I knew the way this time! However, when the cab driver asked me where I would like to go, I joked and replied..."Montreal. I'd really like to go to Montreal." He laughed and seemed game actually, but then I gave him my address and off we went, yapping away like we'd known each other from another planet or something. Gotta love the friendliness of cabbies!

Our conversation ran the gamut of topics, led mostly by my philosophical and very intuitive cabbie. I was fascinated by his "take" on Quebec and our constitution, on bilingualism, psychology, and the very idea that we don't own thoughts we just borrow them in the space where they dwell (try and get your head around THAT one...loveitloveit!).....and in fact asked him if he was writing this stuff down (he's not, but I did encourage him to become a blogger....and gave him the link to mine so he may be reading this!) Anyways, one thing he spoke of really stuck with me and for some reason it flows into my thinking on this day of hope.....Obama's inauguration.

In the middle of a story he was sharing with me, he asked me if I knew the original meaning behind the word "universe." I had never thought too much about it before except that it had such a vast infinite connotation.......something almost so intensely open-ended, its galaxy seemed untenable and beyond my grasp. When I think of the word "universe," it makes me feel so small and inconsequential, that whatever i do in this vast expanse we live in would never really make a dent of a difference. I tried to put pull together what I had always considered the meaning of the word...... but then he broke down the word into three.... uni-ver-se.... this one word was formed by three words.... translated as "single-spoken-word".....or another translation is "turned into one"

Universe means single spoken word.....

or turned into one.

Today, we all watch in anticipation and hope all the while holding our breath as a man who inspires like no other on this planet right at this moment takes the oath of office. Our hopes are pinned on his lapel. Somehow, Barack Obama has generated such a universal feeling of action, of possibility that only change can produce even in the face of such enormous obstacles....he has somehow turned us into one. Obama, with his compassionate words AND his compassionate actions thus far has wiped away the face of apathy and replaced it with inspired energy. He has stretched our imaginations to include the fresh air idealism which feeds a sense of oneness needed to create a major shift in the collective conscience and consciousness of all. When he uses the chant, "Yes we can!" he is calling on all of us to take part.....American, Canadian, French, Australian, British, Kenyan, Brazilian, Mexican...... Have you ever experienced anything like this rush of energy across this universe??

Universe..... single spoken word.....

turned into one.....

How can he succeed against such odds? Only if we help....only if we all take responsibility for the long "to do" list which sits on the desk of the President of the United States of America, only if we recognize our role, our duty to make a difference. Obama has been clear that he can't do it alone. He has been vocal about the long haul ahead of us.....economically, emotionally, spiritually, how it's going to be fraught with false starts and small steps towards a better place. What is threaded throughout his speeches, is a message of a single spoken word. We must listen.....and act.

Service

Yesterday to acknowledge Martin Luther King Jr Day, Obama helped roll paint onto the walls of a homeless shelter for youth, beautifully and symbolically marking a challenge to all who are paying attention. Service in action.

Service

Martin Luther King Jr said...."An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity"...... this is what I'm hearing from Obama.....spoken in his own calm, deliberate, intelligent manner....He is challenging us to live outside of ourselves, to recognize the thousand threads which bind us, to begin anew by doing. This leader of our times had chosen a single spoken word to capture the vastness of the issues of this planet.....

Service.

Perhaps this is how we can help make the untenable transform into possiblity....through our acts of service.... We begin to perform small acts in our communities, for our schools, in our neighbourhoods, at the local shelter, with a soup ladel in hand at the community kitchen, reading to a child at the library, donating to the food bank, buying locally, supporting one another, looking out for one another.....its all found in a single spoken word.

Service.

Barack Obama knows his destiny and success lies in our hands as well as in his own hands of action....this is the essence of a good leader. In his acceptance speech after winning the democratic nomination, he spoke of promise..."What is that American promise? It's a promise that says each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have an obligation to treat each other with dignity and respect"......He goes on to say....."Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity not just for those with the most money and influence but for every American who's willing to work. "

"That's the promise of America -- the idea that we are responsible for ourselves but that we also rise or fall as one nation: the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper. I am my sister's keeper."

"We are responsible for ouselves but rise or fall as one......"

Even if we don't live in the United States of America, we are enthralled because this man plans to lead us into working as one. His actions and his appointments indicate this. Turned into one. We are inspired when we hear the single spoken word....Service..... Let him reframe how we look at our universe so that we all feel significantly needed in the embrace of change.

It's possible. Yes we can.

Let the change begin.

This is a picture my brain with a heavy duty really irritating cold. I have been prorogued along with the rest of the country.....

I have much I want to write about on the state of affairs of this country, but I'll have to wait. I can't seem to formulate a sentence tonight.

five words to describe how i am feeling about the mess we call our Parliament......

outraged

disgusted

shocked

disappointed

frustrated.

• I believe the only way to save our pathetic little republic from the evil doing of that cartoon character Stephen Harper is to call in a couple of superheros........namely Dudley DoRight and Roger Ramjet. They are our last resort.
• I'm also generating my own political coalition. it will have a hockey theme...... It's time to put Dryden in the role of leader. He's the only one in this damn country who both Habs and Leafs fans admire. Marti McSorley would be Minister of Defence.
• I believe the only one left in Ottawa with any integrity is Bill Casey who sits as an independent.
• I am also generating a list of recommended gifts for the Christmas season.......a few appropos items I think every Canuck will be interested in.
• But not now................
• Now.............I'm going to suck on some drugs and climb into my bed. I need to get the hurricane out of my head.

needs and releases

Our behaviour is our best attempt at the given time to fulfill one of 5 basic needs....survival, love and belonging, empowerment/control, freedom and/or fun.

What impacts our behaviour is how we think and how we feel.........about ourselves, about others in our lives, about the situation we find ourselves in, about what life has served up.

Past experiences trigger reactions

Past experiences thrust us into the familiar dance steps

Past experiences shroud us from new perspectives, from a new way of seeing.

Old wounds refreshed and uncared for seep into the present and are revealed in the kind of decisions we make

Life can leave us with two scraped knees and a dislocated soul can't it? It's safer to stay under the covers sound asleep or numbed by vices, disconnected to the rest of the world. Thats the choice.........to remain asleep and safe or to be self-medicated or to be wide awake and vulnerably out there giving it our best....

Action never happens without a thread to thought or feelings. Even if you're the Prime Minister. Even if you're an elected official sitting in opposition vying for the leadership ring. Accumulated unreflected experiences leave their mark on the manner with which one leads their life. Knowing this, and knowing that these men seem to be quite intelligent, why are they so unaware of the ramifications of their actions on others and on their own lives?

When someone gets into a shoving match with their own psyche, can any bystander stop the insanity? We seem to have elected a bunch of very wounded needy people intent on fulfilling their own needs instead of rising to the occasion and recognizing that their behaviour is impacting a whole nation.

Oh, great. Oh, Canada.

Can someone up in Ottawa please give these boys a mirror to look at? A whole lot of reflection is needed............and some psychotherapy to help them see their wrinkled, beard stubbled faces are those of ADULTS??

the golden arc de triomphe

Once upon a time in the land of backyard rinks, vast wildernesses, pesky mosquitoes, testosterone expressive high sticking, and grizzlies who wrestle beavers live a bunch of boy politicians in search of a pissing contest. Representing four different parties, Leaderless, Rudderless, Unityless and Humourless, and all with seeming different agendas, these boypos (short for short boy politicians) were constantly vying for attention and thirsty for power despite the fact that they had just competed in a National election a little over a month ago. The bladders of the land were emptied out.

Many believed the election wasn't needed because it had been less than two years since the last one and things seemed to be well in hand despite it being a minority government. "Why waste the money? Why pollute the airwaves with doublespeak gooble-dee-gook?" However the leader of the Humourless party who was also the Prime Minister of the land, known for his teeny tiny humility and a hidden agenda which frightened the people of the great white north, was determined to win a majority. Given that the economy was about to tank, and that the country folk were busy Bar BQ ing roadkill on skewers (the national food) dipped in maple syrup.....too busy having their summer fun to pay attention, Humourless used the opportunity and threw down the gauntlet. The 30 million dollar pissing contest began and ended all within 6 weeks. Unfortunately, he fell a few feet short of the target. The land continued to linger in minority limbo as the economy began to make it's predictable spiral downward.



As in any election, there were remnants left on the side of the road. The Leader of the Leaderless party, whose battlecry throughout the election was "I love my country......!!" which was stolen from the sidetalkin' little guy from Shawinigan who ruled the land before Humourless PM, was cast aside very quickly in the aftermath. It was the WORST defeat in the history of the Leaderless Party. So, before people could close up their cottages for a winter's sleep, the Leaderless party members began their own internal pissing contest to pick their next boy politician contestant. Many old standards who had shown their wares before decided not to run, which left three keeners to wrestle for the golden arc de triomphe crown.....Bob, Mike and Dominic.

The Rudderless party, who never makes any inroads in any federal election somehow managed to win enough seats to douse the simmering grumbles of the caucus in order for their jackrussell laytonterrier.......the hyper leader to continue representing them in scrums across the vast wilderness. And Unityless? Well, their focus has always and will remain on Quebec separating from the rest of the great white north in order to save their culture from being swallowed up by the cowboys on the western frontier. Despite this narrow focus, Unityless came out of the election with enough urine to stay in the game and make a difference with respect to the balance of power.


As autumn's leaves fell and November's breath let off a steam when it touched the cold air, it appeared that this new Minority government would settle into the silly season of bantering through question period. It was supposed to be time for rehydration. Alas, it was not going to be the case. Humourless and his henchmen scanned the land like a game of Stratego and saw the opposition sitting back drinking their favourite beer (how a Canadian rehydrates) while discussing their own internal planning and postering. Perfect timing for bully tactics to play out.



Hmmmmmm.......thought the reigning party........"lets pull out our hidden agenda of cuts and slashes to programs and incorporate it in the national budget. What can they do to us? We'll attack the economic woes unlike the REST OF THE WORLD by NOT stimulating the economy through spending in key areas. Instead, we'll tighten the belt of the coffers, so we can say we managed to maintain a surplus. Hey, that'll work.....there will be no stinky socialist dirt on our fingers. WE are fiscally tight assed responsible. The whole wide world may be doing one thing, but we are power pissers, we can outspray any challengers. OH, and while we're at it, lets cut public funding to political parties. That'll hit them in their kissers!"


WELL! The three other parties........Leaderless, Rudderless and Unityless got wind of the new budget and cried FOUL! Humourless is trying to TOXIFY the land with his ridiculous bravado! OUTRAGEOUS! NON Monsieur! They cried in unison as they leaped off their lazyboys, beer can in hand, and headed to a hidden boardroom located in the bowels of Ottawa. Every now and then, one of them would be allowed out to be interviewed over the airwaves, but throughout the weekend, the chatter and planning continued........It was time to BEAT Mr. Humourless at his own game. It was time to form a pissing coalition.......... to outaim, outspray, outlast the urine soaked.

All weekend long, they postulated and permutated, and practised their aim while the rest of the country went about their lives attending Christmas bazaars and parades oblivious to the kerfuffle in Ottawa. Sick of their elected members bullying and threats of relieving themselves in public, the people of the land ignored the silly threats and chest pounding antics.

Until today............. when they announced a coalition...two national parties and one separatiste party have reached an agreement to take down the governing party in a non confidence vote......Quoi??


So, as the national stock exchange posted their worst day since 1987, as the dollar continued to lose strength, as the auto industry collapses, the manufacturing sector continues to pack up for parts in the Far East..........as people receive their lay off notices or are confronted with an unplanned early retirement.......as folks who have invested their savings as a means of accumulating money to live out their retirement years see it dwindled away.....as the country south of the border who has just admitted that their recession began a year ago with no end in sight BUT has a leader who is ready to take charge of change and INVEST in his own country as a way to help out their own economy....... Canada is stuck with a bunch of little boys intent on crossing swords in battle. The timing on this couldn't be worse.

And who is going to win this most recent pissing contest? Monsieur Leaderless who had been left on the side of the road a little over a month ago. He's been chosen to give it his BEST aim! From beaten up has been to Prime Minister in one season. At least we are getting rid of the bully.............let him lick the fork stuck in that humble pie. What a pompous, pompous Humourless ASS.

Stay tuned....................eh..... this is going to take a truckload of Moosehead before it's over.

"Yes we can"........taking a risk......

Humanity
has been sleeping
-and still sleeps-
lulled within the
narrowly confining
joys of its
closed loves
Teillard de Chardin

It's such a risk isn't it? We feel we take such a risk to unlatch the gate especially when we believe love has limits and we must share it sparingly. We keep it locked up in order to sprinkle it only on a select few rather than allowing it oxygen. Why?

Maybe we've been burned

Maybe we've been hurt

Maybe we've been wounded

Maybe we've been

ignored

abandoned

used

emotionally abused

Maybe we've been left feeling vulnerable to attacks in the past

Or, we don't believe that the love we can give is good enough

Or we have never felt it before and we don't know HOW to give it

Or we ache in our emptiness and need the love from someone else

Maybe we've been taken advantage of one too many times.

So many reasons and rationales. Our ability to share love is tied to our own history which may have left us delicately tentative. So, we confine our joys within the safety net of our closed loves. No oxygen there. No growth. No changes.

Humanity is starving for love. Healing of humanity needs it. And here we are starving to be recognized as human beings who can share it and receive it. What a conundrum! Carl Jung observed......"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." Perhaps, the key is to figure out how to lift the shadow of power off the light of love and let it emanate outward to shine on, shine on.

It seems like a simple act.......to give of our love...but unconditionally, with no expectations?? That's more difficult because once you give it, you pass on your power as well.......and if the trust isn't there......or if it's misused, you are left feeling like a powerless emptied vessel. Too risky don't you think? I don't know............it looks like a leader was elected tonight who is ready to FEED it oxygen.......and to help the world awaken to a new way of doing things. Can it be that LOVE filled with compassion, determination, respect and dignity has finally moved beyond the confines? We'll see. We'll see.

Yes we can.

AMAZING SPEECH!!!!!! It's a brand new day........

He holds the candle burning bright.....

Here is an excerpt from the speech Barack Obama gave at the 2004 Democratic convention. It brought the people to their feet.........and foisted him into the national limelight. From this electrifying speech, people began to wake up to possibility. They began to shake of their apathy and began to become interested again in the possibility of a leader taking a wounded nation forward with hope.

I will never forget Obama's speech because I too was standing and applauding this man whom I had never heard before.....it was evident to everyone who had a chance to watch him deliver it and to listen to his inspiration pour out of him. Whether you are aligned with his politics or not, Barack Obama was from this night forward recognized as a force to be reckoned with.......... May the people of the United States of America choose to take a giant step with this gifted man and elect him on November 4th as their next President of the United States. He has earned and deserves a chance to shine, shine, shine.

"Tonight is a particular honor for me because, let’s face it, my presence on this stage is pretty unlikely. My father was a foreign student, born and raised in a small village in Kenya. He grew up herding goats, went to school in a tin-roof shack. His father -- my grandfather -- was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.
But my grandfather had larger dreams for his son. Through hard work and perseverance my father got a scholarship to study in a magical place, America, that shone as a beacon of freedom and opportunity to so many who had come before.
While studying here, my father met my mother. She was born in a town on the other side of the world, in Kansas. Her father worked on oil rigs and farms through most of the Depression. The day after Pearl Harbor my grandfather signed up for duty; joined Patton’s army, marched across Europe. Back home, my grandmother raised a baby and went to work on a bomber assembly line. After the war, they studied on the G.I. Bill, bought a house through F.H.A., and later moved west all the way to Hawaii in search of opportunity.
And they, too, had big dreams for their daughter. A common dream, born of two continents.
My parents shared not only an improbable love, they shared an abiding faith in the possibilities of this nation. They would give me an African name, Barack, or ”blessed,” believing that in a tolerant America your name is no barrier to success. They imagined -- They imagined me going to the best schools in the land, even though they weren’t rich, because in a generous America you don’t have to be rich to achieve your potential.
They're both passed away now. And yet, I know that on this night they look down on me with great pride.
They stand here -- And I stand here today, grateful for the diversity of my heritage, aware that my parents’ dreams live on in my two precious daughters. I stand here knowing that my story is part of the larger American story, that I owe a debt to all of those who came before me, and that, in no other country on earth, is my story even possible.
Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our Nation -- not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over two hundred years ago:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
That is the true genius of America, a faith -- a faith in simple dreams, an insistence on small miracles; that we can tuck in our children at night and know that they are fed and clothed and safe from harm; that we can say what we think, write what we think, without hearing a sudden knock on the door; that we can have an idea and start our own business without paying a bribe; that we can participate in the political process without fear of retribution, and that our votes will be counted -- at least most of the time....

This year, in this election we are called to reaffirm our values and our commitments, to hold them against a hard reality and see how we're measuring up to the legacy of our forbearers and the promise of future generations.
And fellow Americans, Democrats, Republicans, Independents, I say to you tonight: We have more work to do -- more work to do for the workers I met in Galesburg, Illinois, who are losing their union jobs at the Maytag plant that’s moving to Mexico, and now are having to compete with their own children for jobs that pay seven bucks an hour; more to do for the father that I met who was losing his job and choking back the tears, wondering how he would pay 4500 dollars a month for the drugs his son needs without the health benefits that he counted on; more to do for the young woman in East St. Louis, and thousands more like her, who has the grades, has the drive, has the will, but doesn’t have the money to go to college.
Now, don’t get me wrong. The people I meet -- in small towns and big cities, in diners and office parks -- they don’t expect government to solve all their problems. They know they have to work hard to get ahead, and they want to. Go into the collar counties around Chicago, and people will tell you they don’t want their tax money wasted, by a welfare agency or by the Pentagon. Go in -- Go into any inner city neighborhood, and folks will tell you that government alone can’t teach our kids to learn; they know that parents have to teach, that children can’t achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television sets and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white. They know those things.
People don’t expect -- People don't expect government to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in America has a decent shot at life, and that the doors of opportunity remain open to all.
They know we can do better. And they want that choice."

Choice.........! Change.......!

The audacity of hope

Let his candle burn bright.

Too Much Drama, Obama

Can one man be placed in a position where he could possibly orchestrate the changes needed to end wars, fix the economy, provide health care for every single American, bring back jobs, stability, pride, soothe relationships with other countries, bring harmony and understanding throughout the land? Is there one person who can live up to the mile high list of expectations which seems to keep growing in need and priorities? Can one human being...............a HUMAN BEING.........be responsible for cleaning up the environment, finding new energy resources, put dictators in the place, pull down walls, stop tsunamis, create abundance, eradicate poverty, eliminate racism and inequality..................oh, and do this by working through the mire of a shut down ineffective mess called bureaucracy where kingdom creating and "working in silos" are the order of the day? I don't think so.

The expectations placed on Barak Obama are completely off the scale. Its insanity! Yes, he's inspirational and he does seem to have the eyes, ears and heart of enough American voters that he has a good chance of winning on Tuesday. Maybe he is the real deal. Who would know? The world of politics and campaigning has become a such a slick manipulative wank on the public that I don't think anyone has a handle on what is true and what is made up. The mud slinging on both sides, and the spinning of issues and controversies as they creep into the media seemingly on a daily basis dirties the process to a point where I have swallowed a whole pint of pessimism.

Take the stories reported by so called journalists and shared on the national morning radio news. On Tuesday, the CBC reported that Obama was going to win by a landslide. It'll be a cakewalk, even in diehard Republican territory. Then, on Wednesday, the "angle" was much more subdued and doubtful.........they maintain Obama will win, but that McCain is closing the gap. Neither story had any depth to verify and justify the predictions. Rather, it was surface skimming journalism, which seems to be the norm these days. However, both stories had one major theme in common...........that Barak Obama is the second coming.

Excuse me??? No, he's not. This crowning and fawning over the man by the mainstream media, on Youtube, on blogs, in editorials both in the papers, on the TV, on the internet, on the radio does counteract the threats and nasties spewing out of Sister Sarah's gosh darn mouth, and the painfully obvious angry man John McCain. However, I am left with a serious bad taste emanating from my gut. It's all Smoke and Mirrors, tit for tat phony baloney......because who out there really knows what's true? The 1/2 hour infomercial last night which cost over a 3 million dollars.....a mere spit in the bucket when he has 150 million raised in September alone to spend by next Tuesday.......was a glossy emotional heart tugging staged chat, accompanied by a soundtrack right out of a David Lean movie. The only thing missing was a demonstration of some K-tel Bass-o-matic grinding device a la Dan Ackroyd and SNL.

The amount of money spent on this election is shocking. Hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars...........and people are homeless and starving because the banks are going down the drain?? I don't get it.

The smears and innuendos are beyond the pale. I can't imagine what its like living in the United States right now with the onslaught of talking heads and talk shows along with the regular news shows clamouring to continue stirring it all up. There's no room on those shows to even LOOK at stories and news happening beyond the borders. At least when I take in some form of news that I am offered an array of stories with both a national and internation flavour. Do you think the average Joe the Plumber even knows about the deadly earthquake in Pakistan earlier in the week.....? Doubt it very much.

If Obama does manage to stay alive and get elected as President of the United States, no one should expect he will accomplish much outside of the borders of his country. He will be so busy trying to stop the pulsing jugular which is bleeding all over both "Wall Street and Main Street," that he won't be looking at any issues internationally. Or maybe he will. Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe he is the Messiah and peace and harmony is within reach.

Ah, the audacity of hoping for hope.........reckless? No........this isn't a reckless election campaign. It is scheduled and planned out right down to very last minute.

Will Obama win? Who knows at this point. All it takes is one big faux pas.....and you can bet your ass the Karl Rove is not sleeping while looking for that nugget.

reading glasses and red lips.

Our TV waves have been inundated with slick graphically enhanced ads created to try to lure us to the side of what is "right and good"....whatever that is. It's silly season once again both here and south of the border. You'd think as a political junkie, I would be feeling a sense of heightened thirst quenching quivers. Surprisingly, I'm not. In fact I'm having a very tough time conjuring up any whiff of interest even though I keep hearing the pundits and journalists yammer on about the importance of the elections. Did you know these are THE most important elections of our time. Really? Gee, it seems like it's the same dinner fare we've been dished up since the beginning of time. Well, except for the recent emergence of Sarah the Alaskan running mate.

Is it just me, or is does she resemble everyman's fantasy of Library girl? You know that one.......stern and no-nonsense on the outside, firey vixen on the inside? Well, then she opens her mouth and as much as she says the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lipstick? I've met my share of pitbull hockey moms. They wear lipstick.....and sometimes no nonsense bouffie hairdos and reading glasses...........and they bellow and bite with venom. I wonder if the stock prices of erectile dysfunction blue pills have tanked lately because of her smoking gun presence? hmmmm..........just wondering, because no doubt about it.........this woman is a hot commodity. In fact, I think her ovaries have a brass shine to them and she's ringing them loud and in your face.

I watched the interview between "ABC Charlie" and "Alaskan Sarah...." a reading glasses fest. The questions, posed with the eyes over the top of the glasses.......damn seriously.......were unrelenting and MUCH needed.....produced answers more revealing of this woman and her extreme right wing opinions than I think she intended. Bloggie and MSM editorials predictably run the gamut of opinion, though it appears that they agree with her mishandling of the "Bush Doctrine" question, which automatically makes one question her depth of knowledge on her own government's policy. She tried to sidestep in and in turn made it quite apparent that she wasn't too sure what Gibson was referring to.

Yes, her answers on how to handle international issues and hot spots in the world were downright scary in my opinion, but you know what? It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. She has made an impact solely on who she is and who she is not. This is the allure! It has nothing to do with whether she has travelled much or whether she has met a Head of State. It matters that she HASN'T!!! What she has done in one astonishing back swoop is to hairclip the freshness out of Obama's wings.

Frontier Sarah brandished the "second coming" of Kennedy to the back pages and kitty litter boxes of yesterday's news ALL without a "blink......" Yes, she stated that there's no time to blink.........and didn't when McCain came calling. More amazingly, Sarah Palin woke up the masses........you know the ones who the Democrats had hoped would remain sleepy and apathetic. She woke up the people who see her and say.........."she's one of us! She can be our Washington slayer!" They see the fire in her belly, the no nonsense ability to cut through the crap and tell it like it is. They see Sarah Palin as a real live person who has emerged from an ordinary family and existance to take it all on. Her presence makes everyone else's presence seem lamely predictable and worn out. Even the new bright light Obama.

It all reminds me of something out of a Frank Capra movie!!

Did I say I wasn't interested? Did I say I didn't agree with the headline grabbing.........."most important election" diatribe? I guess I better rethink this because the election just keeps on grabbing hold......it keeps on getting more and more interesting as I glance over my reading glasses and take in the next breath of talking head babble. They will continue to consume themselves thereby helping her along. Sarah Palin will continue to spout off in too many unhandle-able directions and make glaring mistakes. This will breed new life into the talking head commentators, and will feed the comedy sketch grist mill of late night talk show hosts. Their jokes and opinions won't matter....... she will continue her meteoric rise from moose bagging hockey mom to the next Vice President of the United States. The masses are awake........and they like her. The people who were contemplating not voting altogether because of their disdain for McCain will be voting......and I'm afraid there's enough of them and of momentum to force her to pack up her growing family and head south.....er....east.

You know what? She's such a multi-tasking firecracker that I'm sure she'll manage to do juggle it all as well as make sure the lipstick is on in bold red. I mean after all, she's got God on her side and I hear he had something to do with the war in Iraq. There are moose in Washington aren't there?

Meet you in the foxhole. I'm ducking for cover.

ps.....is there an election on this side of the border too? Gee........who knew? I think we could use a big stir of the day old pot of past banquets.........a little spice to add flavour to the gruel. Where are the brass ovaried women eager to turn Ottawa upside down? Oh, we had that in the last election by way of the Princess of Auto Parts, Belinda Stronach..... she was going to be the saving grace ticket to an engaged constituency. And where is she now after breaking a few hearts, showing her glaring need to maintain her princesstry by always getting what she wanted. Well, after breaking up the marriage of one fine goon from the National Hockey League, Mr. Ty Domi, she hung up her skates and puckbunny ears, quit politics and has moved on.........into the quiet wilderness of the corporate world. That was enough to turn off any politically interested females who may have been on the cusp of running.

Saturday morning market routine

By far my favourite time during the week is early Saturday morning. I LOVE waking up knowing that a whole weekend is ahead of me, and knowing that the local Boyce Farmer's Market has been up and running for a couple of hours already. And I love getting there relatively early, before the onslaught of people. Today was no different. I pulled on my comfie clothes, grabbed my red fleecy poncho, slipped on my topsiders, grabbed my camera and cash and headed out the door without waking a soul in the house. I was there before 8 am..... in time to enjoy it all without the crowds.

Familiar faces who had taken the winter off were there with full energy as they prepared deliciously missed market goodies to eat right there or take home to the sleeping family. The political guys were there sitting at their chosen tables inside the market chatting away on the latest games and gaffaws of the legislature and of city hall and welcoming anyone to join them for coffee. I stopped for hellos and a quick catch up on the rumour mill updates, but carried on my way to pick up a few items...................feta cheese, fresh biscuits, a dozen eggs and some of Joey's Thai spring rolls and sweet potato slices.

Throughout my ramblings, I wondered if this place was about to be affected by the changes in the air, and hoped the changes would be to enhance rather than to eliminate.

This morning, the local paper ran a story about the potential sale of the Market. Turns out, the place has been appraised for WAY less than the published asking price. There's a big difference between 1.5 million dollars and 800 thousand! Rumours that the market was a money losing venture were false.........it breaks even. Wish I had the money................ the Board of Directors who have managed the market for years are throwing out pseudo-calming statements like how they won't sell it to some developer.....that it will always be the market. They can't guarantee that. No one can, unless it's clearly and legally written down as so.

Are discussions happening behind closed doors???....... it's too hot an issue for these talks NOT to be taking place.

Last fall, I jumped on an opportunity to spend a full morning working with a friend at a produce stall selling for a local farmer. Set up began at 5 am, well ahead of dawn's early light. This was when all of the vendors arrived, quietly pulling up their trailers and trucks laden with the last of the season's offerings. It was wonderful to see the comraderie of this community sipping coffee, chatting all the while laying out their goods for sale. It was very late in the season, and you could feel the tiredness of long days that had overlapped with one another from the first spring clearing. There was a sense of completion, along with the "thought full" forward looking of a long winter where no money would be coming into the coffers.

The whole experience, albeit a skin soaked one since the heavens opened up and it poured unrelenting rain down on us all morning, gave me a chance to see this community's market from a much different angle. It left me with sore muscles from hauling pumpkins and potatos, a ton of respect, and a stronger desire to support the hardworking people who are there every weekend, rain or snow or shine. It fed this inkling in me of wanting to be a part of this community whose lives were so different than my day to day life, who had a strong livelihood connection to a place I frequented as an escape. This was their reality. The market is a necessity.

I also thought about how many hours the artisans, flower growers, bakers, and cooks spend preparing for the handful of operating hours. Their dedication as well as their reliance on the market must be recognized as THE priority when the people behind closed doors are making their decisions. Families and individuals rely on this wonderful interactive place as an integral part of their lifework. I hope that the politicians and board members remember the faces of the human beings, the key players of this marvellous place frequented by many, many people every weekend, and take the time to know the stories and struggles behind what it takes to fill their tables and stalls.

I wish I had the money. I wish I could buy the place..................

Mabel Darby

Every time I have a chance to think about my upcoming trip to London, I automatically think about my Grandmother. She always enjoyed an adventure and never hesitated to either organize one for a bunch of seniors on a bus tour, or hop on a bus, plane, train on her own and go find one. She loved to have a friend with her, but it never seemed to stop her from forging ahead on her own. In fact, the last time she made the trek "across the pond" to the place that her Mother called "the old country," Mabel was around 80 years old and travelling solo. She did have a brother living there, but her intention was to purchase a rail pass and see the places she had always wanted to see but for some reason had never had the chance. This is exactly what she did. To learn about one of her endeavours on that trip, click here.

If my Grandmother were alive today, we would be celebrating her 96th birthday. Mabel loved a party..........loved any kind of celebration...........and loved having picture taken! In honour of her birthday, I have scanned a few pics to share. These photos, circa 1935, are classic shots of Mabel and her friends, many of whom were in her life ALL her life. They were a closeknit group living in Hamilton Ontario together, and remained in touch through all the trials and tribulations life threw at them.


I love this shot. They look kind of daring and carefree don't they? As far as Mabel was concerned, nothing was more important than her family and her friends.........especially her girlfriends.

This is a picture of Mabel and my Grandfather on their wedding day. I never met my Grandpa. Sadly and tragically, he passed away in his 40's when my Mom was only 9 years old. He was the love of their lives.

This is a photo of Mabel, my Grandfather and my Mom before my Uncle Johnny was born. I like this photo. Tonight when I was scanning it, and looking at a much larger image I was struck by how much my eyes are similar to my Grandpa and my Mom. I also see the resemblance connected to a couple of my nephews too. I had never noticed this before.

Mabel was a wonderful seamstress and in fact used to teach sewing at the local high school night classes. She had a creative flair in many areas and was always working on projects. This is a photo of her fancy outfit for Christmas, 1956.

This was taken when Mabel was in her early 80's, at my parent's cottage. She was fiercely independent and continued to drive her car until she moved into a retirement home at age 88.

A big birthday bash was planned and organized by my Mom for Mabel's 90th birthday and this picture was taken that day. She is posing with her little brother, my Great Uncle Chris. They always had a very close relationship, and I have always believed that it was partly because their personalities complimented one another, but also because when Uncle Chris was a young child, Mabel was very much a mother figure because of the circumstances in their home when they were growing up. Mabel was the one to step up to the plate to ensure everything ran smoothly......... and then when Mabel needed support after my Grandpa died, her brother Chris stepped in to help in anyway he could. They were constants in each other's lives. Always. It was my Uncle Chris who gave my Mom away on her wedding day too. And, it was Uncle Chris and his wife, my Auntie Helen who cared for me when I was a toddler when my Mom went to work. I look at this one particular picture and it conjures up so many family memories and ties that bind to me and my own family today.

I wish she was here today so I could share with her my excitement about my own upcoming adventure to England. Not only would she be full of suggestions and questions, she would pass on her lifelong advice.............don't forget to look up and around and take it all in. Then, she'd hound me about coming along! However, I know she will most definately be there in spirit, and I will most definately be yearning to ask her some questions I'm sure she has answered before but for some reason I was too pre-occupied to fully take it in at the time.

Today, I have been flooded with memories, of the events we shared and some of the talks we had over the phone.........with me living here in New Brunswick and she living in Ontario. What always came through loud and clear was her ongoing love of learning, which most likely fed her desire to travel on the road less travelled and to take along anyone willing to keep up with her. You just had to be prepared to sing off key, drink strong cups of tea, stop to smell the roses, and be open to befriending a stranger..............oh, and to look up and around.