please sir, I want some more....

Where is love?
Does it fall from skies above?
Is it underneat the willow tree
That I've been dreaming of?
Where is she?
Who I close my eyes to see?
Will I ever know the sweet "hello"
That's only meant for me?
Who can say where she may hide?
Must I travel far and wide?
'Til I am bedside the someone who
I can mean somethin to ...
Where...?
Where is love?

There are some things you can't make up........even if you have the most outlandish imagination. Where is love? I think its found in a turkey baster. What is love? Sharing your sperm with the guy who sang "Beat It."

From the Globe and Mail:

"Former child acting star Mark Lester said in a British newspaper yesterday that he donated sperm to Michael Jackson and believes he could be the biological father of the late singer's daughter Paris.

Lester, who played Oliver Twist in the 1968 film musical Oliver!, told the News of the World: "I gave Michael my sperm so that he could have kids - and I believe Paris is my daughter." He said he was willing to take a paternity test to establish whether or not he is 11-year-old Paris' father.

The 51-year-old Briton became friends with Jackson and is godfather to Paris, and Jackson's two other children, Prince Michael, 12, and seven-year-old Prince Michael II, known as Blanket.

"It's a been a secret for so long," Lester told the weekly tabloid.

"In 1996 Michael asked me if I would give him my sperm and I said yes. It was a gift to him, no money was paid, it was something I was honoured to do. He wanted children so badly."

Lester added: "I want to have contact with her, Prince and Blanket regardless of whether any or all of them are mine. I think it's cruel that I've now been excluded from them."

He said that since Jackson's mother Katherine had been granted custody of the children following the singer's death, all his phone calls and e-mails had gone unanswered.

Lester, who has four children himself, said there was a strong resemblance between his 15-year-old daughter Harriet and Paris.

He told the News of the World that Jackson first confided in him in 1996 that he was desperate to be a father.

Both were then aged 37 and Lester already had three children. "He realized having kids was a natural thing but that he just couldn't do it," Lester said. "I mentioned the fact there are alternative ways of going about it.

"I think he'd already tried using his own sperm but it hadn't worked for him, so I made an off-the-cuff comment saying, 'Try mine'."

Jackson agreed and the donation was arranged through a clinic in Harley Street, London, in February 1996.

Eight months later Jackson announced he had married nurse Debbie Rowe and three months later the couple revealed the birth of their first child, Prince.

Paris was born just over a year later, in April 1998."

Good luck to you Oliver trying to gain access to your daughter.........You've got a Jacksonian mountain to climb. But, I bet you'll land on Larry King in no time, and who knows maybe your acting career can be re-erected.

where's the party?

My friend Charles Leblanc was invited to attend a gathering in his honour this morning at the local courthouse. He supposedly "earned" this invite because he crossed onto the lawn of the New Brunswick Legislature in April to document the unfolding demonstration of concerned voters who were protesting against closing MacTaquac Park during the winter months. As with many other protests and rallies, our most famous New Brunswick blogger wanted to capture the emotion, the clashing and the stories behind it all. This is what he does and does WELL. This is what drives some folks CRAZY. My "in your face, ask too many questions, tell it like it is, take a slew of pictures, ADHD" friend attended the rally in April and was promptly arrested for trespassing and breach of whatever. You see, he was banned from the grounds in 2006.

In April 2009, after hundreds of visits to the Legislature and dozens of interviews with politicians and other muckymucks....many of which have been posted on his blogsite and on Youtube, someone decided to arrest him! It made no sense to me then, and it certainly makes no sense to me today. Consequently, Charles Leblanc was invited to a gathering at the courthouse in his honour today..... TODAY was the day. And guess what? His name wasn't on the list. Because of this little glitch....his name could not be called out loud. Did those folks who make the courthouse guest list up not see the big COUNTDOWN clock on Charles' blog?

So, what is that all about? Obviously there must've been some planning discussions behind the big wooden door on that cold day in April that the DAY had come to arrest an unsuspecting Monsieur Leblanc as soon as he arrived with his trusty camera and his effervescent directness to document the event. Wouldn't ya think? Or was it some random decision to cuff the guy and take him away, thereby putting a huge damper on the real story let alone the concerted efforts of the MacTacquac Park supporters? Either way, there must've been at least a little bit of discussion that the act of arresting Charles would automatically prove to be a political hot potato and would hit the media sideways.?? Yes? No? I mean, isn't this the same dude who took on the SJ Police force to argue his credentials as a verified media rep. after they confiscated his camera a while back? Isn't this the same person who made the National news by having the guts (or the craziness) to force the issue thereby moving the role of Blogger up a few notches on the journalism food chain?

Did someone think they could arrest Monsieur Leblanc without no one noticing. If a tree falls in the forest, will anyone notice it? Ah....well....Charles would. He'd be yelling TIMBER in both official languages while taking photos and riding his bike out of there. !!! His voice and his manner....and what he does has taught us to listen and to SEE when a tree falls. We notice now. We notice. And if we DONT notice, Charles barks and bellows until we wake the frig UP!

Action = Reaction.

Cause = Effect.

Confused....this is the word Charles used today as he stepped out of the courthouse when he realized his name wasn't on the docket. I'd be mighty confused too, and a wee bit stirred. He has been left with no direction, no explanation, no closure on the whole debacle. I don't see anything right about this whatsoever. Is he on the list or not? Is he charged with anything or not? Can someone clear this up? Puhlllleeeeze!

As much as he has the balls of a brave warrior and the yappiness of a pitbull, he also has another side to him too. The HUMAN side. As much as Charles has documented and played this story up on his blog (and of course he would.....) he also has other stories he works on too. The HUMAN stories. Hardly a soul pays attention to the other stories unfolding..... Charles does and he has introduced us to many of them....people, places, events, the issues of the marginalized....the joyful and the most sorrowful of them all..... as he learns about them himself. He's not afraid to put it all out there. By so doing, he stirs up hornets nests and forces many to discuss them. It's a good, good thing. He pays attention. And you know what, he reaches out to others more than you will ever know. And all of those people KNOW and are grateful. I know I am. And I know of a few others..... :)

His heart is huge. His heart is what leads him. Charles is truly a person no one forgets....

And yet...someone forgot to put his name on the list for the gathering at the courthouse??

So, my friend..... let me be the one to announce you.....

Hey Crazyman Charles!! Come out to play!! Bring your glove and we'll toss the ball around. I know a great locale...it's across the street from the Beaverbrook Art Gallery. Know it? Well, of course you do. You pitched a tent there one summer didn't you?

ps.....Hey Charles...You know how you told me all winter long that good things happen to good people? You were right. Now, I pass this message back to you. Good things happen to good people....especially to those like YOU who do good things for others. It's your turn.

needs and releases

Our behaviour is our best attempt at the given time to fulfill one of 5 basic needs....survival, love and belonging, empowerment/control, freedom and/or fun.

What impacts our behaviour is how we think and how we feel.........about ourselves, about others in our lives, about the situation we find ourselves in, about what life has served up.

Past experiences trigger reactions

Past experiences thrust us into the familiar dance steps

Past experiences shroud us from new perspectives, from a new way of seeing.

Old wounds refreshed and uncared for seep into the present and are revealed in the kind of decisions we make

Life can leave us with two scraped knees and a dislocated soul can't it? It's safer to stay under the covers sound asleep or numbed by vices, disconnected to the rest of the world. Thats the choice.........to remain asleep and safe or to be self-medicated or to be wide awake and vulnerably out there giving it our best....

Action never happens without a thread to thought or feelings. Even if you're the Prime Minister. Even if you're an elected official sitting in opposition vying for the leadership ring. Accumulated unreflected experiences leave their mark on the manner with which one leads their life. Knowing this, and knowing that these men seem to be quite intelligent, why are they so unaware of the ramifications of their actions on others and on their own lives?

When someone gets into a shoving match with their own psyche, can any bystander stop the insanity? We seem to have elected a bunch of very wounded needy people intent on fulfilling their own needs instead of rising to the occasion and recognizing that their behaviour is impacting a whole nation.

Oh, great. Oh, Canada.

Can someone up in Ottawa please give these boys a mirror to look at? A whole lot of reflection is needed............and some psychotherapy to help them see their wrinkled, beard stubbled faces are those of ADULTS??

the golden arc de triomphe

Once upon a time in the land of backyard rinks, vast wildernesses, pesky mosquitoes, testosterone expressive high sticking, and grizzlies who wrestle beavers live a bunch of boy politicians in search of a pissing contest. Representing four different parties, Leaderless, Rudderless, Unityless and Humourless, and all with seeming different agendas, these boypos (short for short boy politicians) were constantly vying for attention and thirsty for power despite the fact that they had just competed in a National election a little over a month ago. The bladders of the land were emptied out.

Many believed the election wasn't needed because it had been less than two years since the last one and things seemed to be well in hand despite it being a minority government. "Why waste the money? Why pollute the airwaves with doublespeak gooble-dee-gook?" However the leader of the Humourless party who was also the Prime Minister of the land, known for his teeny tiny humility and a hidden agenda which frightened the people of the great white north, was determined to win a majority. Given that the economy was about to tank, and that the country folk were busy Bar BQ ing roadkill on skewers (the national food) dipped in maple syrup.....too busy having their summer fun to pay attention, Humourless used the opportunity and threw down the gauntlet. The 30 million dollar pissing contest began and ended all within 6 weeks. Unfortunately, he fell a few feet short of the target. The land continued to linger in minority limbo as the economy began to make it's predictable spiral downward.



As in any election, there were remnants left on the side of the road. The Leader of the Leaderless party, whose battlecry throughout the election was "I love my country......!!" which was stolen from the sidetalkin' little guy from Shawinigan who ruled the land before Humourless PM, was cast aside very quickly in the aftermath. It was the WORST defeat in the history of the Leaderless Party. So, before people could close up their cottages for a winter's sleep, the Leaderless party members began their own internal pissing contest to pick their next boy politician contestant. Many old standards who had shown their wares before decided not to run, which left three keeners to wrestle for the golden arc de triomphe crown.....Bob, Mike and Dominic.

The Rudderless party, who never makes any inroads in any federal election somehow managed to win enough seats to douse the simmering grumbles of the caucus in order for their jackrussell laytonterrier.......the hyper leader to continue representing them in scrums across the vast wilderness. And Unityless? Well, their focus has always and will remain on Quebec separating from the rest of the great white north in order to save their culture from being swallowed up by the cowboys on the western frontier. Despite this narrow focus, Unityless came out of the election with enough urine to stay in the game and make a difference with respect to the balance of power.


As autumn's leaves fell and November's breath let off a steam when it touched the cold air, it appeared that this new Minority government would settle into the silly season of bantering through question period. It was supposed to be time for rehydration. Alas, it was not going to be the case. Humourless and his henchmen scanned the land like a game of Stratego and saw the opposition sitting back drinking their favourite beer (how a Canadian rehydrates) while discussing their own internal planning and postering. Perfect timing for bully tactics to play out.



Hmmmmmm.......thought the reigning party........"lets pull out our hidden agenda of cuts and slashes to programs and incorporate it in the national budget. What can they do to us? We'll attack the economic woes unlike the REST OF THE WORLD by NOT stimulating the economy through spending in key areas. Instead, we'll tighten the belt of the coffers, so we can say we managed to maintain a surplus. Hey, that'll work.....there will be no stinky socialist dirt on our fingers. WE are fiscally tight assed responsible. The whole wide world may be doing one thing, but we are power pissers, we can outspray any challengers. OH, and while we're at it, lets cut public funding to political parties. That'll hit them in their kissers!"


WELL! The three other parties........Leaderless, Rudderless and Unityless got wind of the new budget and cried FOUL! Humourless is trying to TOXIFY the land with his ridiculous bravado! OUTRAGEOUS! NON Monsieur! They cried in unison as they leaped off their lazyboys, beer can in hand, and headed to a hidden boardroom located in the bowels of Ottawa. Every now and then, one of them would be allowed out to be interviewed over the airwaves, but throughout the weekend, the chatter and planning continued........It was time to BEAT Mr. Humourless at his own game. It was time to form a pissing coalition.......... to outaim, outspray, outlast the urine soaked.

All weekend long, they postulated and permutated, and practised their aim while the rest of the country went about their lives attending Christmas bazaars and parades oblivious to the kerfuffle in Ottawa. Sick of their elected members bullying and threats of relieving themselves in public, the people of the land ignored the silly threats and chest pounding antics.

Until today............. when they announced a coalition...two national parties and one separatiste party have reached an agreement to take down the governing party in a non confidence vote......Quoi??


So, as the national stock exchange posted their worst day since 1987, as the dollar continued to lose strength, as the auto industry collapses, the manufacturing sector continues to pack up for parts in the Far East..........as people receive their lay off notices or are confronted with an unplanned early retirement.......as folks who have invested their savings as a means of accumulating money to live out their retirement years see it dwindled away.....as the country south of the border who has just admitted that their recession began a year ago with no end in sight BUT has a leader who is ready to take charge of change and INVEST in his own country as a way to help out their own economy....... Canada is stuck with a bunch of little boys intent on crossing swords in battle. The timing on this couldn't be worse.

And who is going to win this most recent pissing contest? Monsieur Leaderless who had been left on the side of the road a little over a month ago. He's been chosen to give it his BEST aim! From beaten up has been to Prime Minister in one season. At least we are getting rid of the bully.............let him lick the fork stuck in that humble pie. What a pompous, pompous Humourless ASS.

Stay tuned....................eh..... this is going to take a truckload of Moosehead before it's over.

bleeding heart guides.....

Isnt it funny how the most mundane tasks in life come packaged with instructions.....a guide to follow and refer to, and yet the most important things in life have no such thing? The self-help industry tries its very best to compensate, but most books, videos, and yappity CD's you can shove into the system in your car, miss the mark. Sure, they are full of sagely advice, information and deep thoughts, but they dont help with the biggies. They are promoted as the "answer to all your questions...." as "the key to your solutions......." as "the secret to success........" as "everything you needed to know........." so you think they would help with the biggies. But in reality, they don't. Neither does Oprah. Neither does Dr. Phil. Neither do any of the other high-falootin' Steven Covey/Tony Robbins types.

Lots of direction..........maps for life, mentors who guide, big brothers to teach, consultants who confuse, preachers who baffle.........life coaches who do what??? But when it comes down to the game of life, what do you REALLY get out from a guide of some kind besides confusion?

We have become co-dependents to the gurus out there who are making fast cash on our collective lack of self-confidence. And quite frankly, I dont know what came first, the people with the golden eggs of insight, or our inability to figure things out for ourselves. Did this self-help industry chip and strip away at our delicate balances by providing advice and marketing in a way that has made us second guess our own common sense or are we more messed up than previous generations? What did the folks before us rely on to figure it out? THEMSELVES! Don't you find it really strange that the people who have forked out the most moooo-laaaa to purchase the next best answer to their problems are still the most messed in the head?

It begs the question...........Will there ever be a guide to help us overcome our addictions to these self help navel gazing enforcers? Do we really need so much guidance? Whatever happened to simply getting on with it.............living our lives and learning from our mistakes (cause its ok to make mistakes.......perfection is a misguided concept.) and moving on?

Life is complicated because we human beings make it so. Personal growth, learning, loving and interacting is the most difficult tasks we can take on. I guess I am thinking tonight that perhaps we need to learn how to rely on ourselves to make decisions, to think things through, to reflect and pray and reflect some more and most importantly to learn how to love and how to connect with others. And the only way to learn how to do these things is to listen to our hearts.

The answers to the biggies are nestled in our hearts. If we are open to seek out the moments of feeling vulnerable when we are alone and when we are with another person........if we are open to expressing our truth as well as open to hearing it from someone else...........if we are open to understanding that life is a struggle of adding to our personal awareness, then a guide isn't necessary. A set of internal ears, which we all own no matter how closed minded we are, is all that is needed. We are our own guides. We just have to find the lost collective confidence by turning off the TV, by ignoring the yappity CD's, by turning off the talk show "you should do it this way" people and go with your heart.

The heart never lies...........it is there as our eternally internal, guide. And if we did this, think of the extra cash you'd have on hand to buy a bottle of wine and share it with a friend? Yes, a bottle of wine, some good music, a comfy spot in front of the fireplace.........no time constraints..........sounds therapeutic to me. It's too bad we're so busy striving for perfection that we miss out completely that we have the answers within hearts reach.

Sunday scribblings prompt this week is "guides." for more scribblings..check out this site.

talk amongst yourselves........

Last night while driving in the van with my children, the conversation led us to planet Technology. What? You didn't know we had a new planet in our solar system? Well, if you look up into the night sky you will see a set of stars off to the east that form what looks like the map of Japan......well just above that, a little past Uranus, is a flashing red light. That light is actually Planet Technology.......the RED flashing light is pointed at us on planet Earth. And guess what folks? It's beaming subliminal messages at us to plug in, wire up, tune in, and tune out ALL THE TIME.

Can you feeeeeeeellllllllllllllllll it??

The other messages? Buy, replace, toss away...... be in the groove with new, new, new and improved! .......bigger, smaller, better........more gadgets, channels, sounds, actions..........gotta have.....must want......you're a loser if you don't own.........YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!

gotta have, gotta have, gotta have...........

I find Planet Technology a very strange place and the affects it has on Earth, and I'm beginning to feel like an alien on my own planet. I know I'm definately in the minority now. I can't keep up with the new techie terminology, I can't understand most conversations when two people are chatting it up about the latest game for their playstation whatever......and I completely don't understand the need to have a phone tucked into my pocket so I am accessible at all times.............so I will never be lonely?? I don't get any of it, and besides my cellphone, which is work issued is so archaicly chunky, would never fit into my pocket. It remains in my van for the most part, unjuiced presently.

More shocking (to others more than to me I think) is that I don't really want to get it........except when it relates to the change in human behaviour.

That part of it intrigues AND concerns me.

I once owned a walkman 20 years ago. It held cassettes. I never used it and I never wanted another version. It's not that I don't like music. I LOVE listening to music. I simply prefer it playing on a stereo, on the radio, from my computer, from my family who like to sing around the house. My favourite place to listen to music is when I'm driving. When I go for a walk at lunchtime during the work week I want to take in the sounds of my downtown. Same if I'm on the walking trail down by the river. Same if I'm traipsing through Toronto in the middle of rush hour. I want to hear my own song intertwined with the song of life around me. Maybe if I commuted everyday for long stretches, or if I travelled extensively for work, I would change my mind. I'm sure I would. But, my surroundings don't necessitate this, so it's moot to me personally.

My family all own mp3 - ish gadgets........purchased in the last two years or so. My conversation with my children revolved around the evolution of this technology and how the newest version can hold a gazillion songs because of something called GIGS?? (And to think I thought that was a jamming session with a bunch of musicians) Not only that, you can upload, download, reload (does it wash a load??) movies, music, interviews, concerts.....you can email, take pics, search the internet.......some I think are phones too?? And they are WAY smaller than the versions they have. Needless to say, they were informing me that theirs were obsolete in comparison.

My question to them, said admittedly with sarcastic syrup in my voice................."Why not wait until next Christmas season when ANOTHER version is foisted upon us making this year's version obsolete and relegated to the discount bin by last years bestselling books that were going to evolutionize the planet??" (Remember that HIT book, The Secret?? It made someone a shitload of money all the while passing on common sense packaged in a new age mantra as something evolutionary??)

I also asked...............why would I want to watch a movie on a 2 inch screen? I don't own a plasma TV either to watch the movie like in a theatre either and don't want one......so bigger in this regard is not better in my books.

Where is all this tossed out technology going anyways??

The portion of Planet Technology I really don't feel like I'm missing out on is the ever expanding section of GAMES. I can't even keep them straight in my head, even if I'm trying my best to discuss this stuff with my son. Xboxes, Playstations, Gamecubes, PSPs, Gameboys, DDRs, a Wii, consoles, controllers, interactive whatevers............I learned this morning that the term joystick is NEVER used. Thank God I learned that today, or it would've been VERY embarrassing if I was ever to walk into a GAME convention centre. As much as I try to understand the passion for this stuff and the lingo that goes with it, whenever I walk into one of those stores that carry just gaming paraphenalia, I feel like I have been teleported to Planet Technology without a map.

This is a problem since I have been trying to price Wii's and I don't have a frigging clue what it is I'm pricing or what I need to purchase so that all the parts are there.......... This experience is comparable to shopping for hunting gear. I have no clue about either hobby and I don't want to have a clue.

Though.......I'm interested why some are so interested in this stuff.

And yet....................I'm typing (did I just type the word typing??) on a laptop which I LOVE. I access the internet all the time, which I LOVE........I write on my blog religiously and with much pleasure..........I have a digital camera which goes with me wherever I go. However both pieces of technology are still quite foreign to me as I struggle to understand ALL that I can do with them. And I seem to always be screwing it up. I have yet to figure out how to fix my sidebar on this site without the help of my technologically intuitive family (notice ALL of my links to you people are gone?? I tried to change my template and LOST you all and haven't had a chance to figure out how to put you all back there again......)

My photos? I have so much to learn about how to download them properly and all that. My brother in law took a bunch off my doo-hickey thing in the camera where they are stashed and put them on a CD for me last spring.

Have I done anything with them? Noooooooooo...............

I am a neanderthal is some respects. I guess I'm not a gadget person, though I have some I rely on and love to use. However, you'd never in a million years catch me standing in line overnight waiting to buy the latest game system or music system. Actually, you'd never catch me standing in line over night to buy anything except perhaps front row seats to see Mr. Piano man if it included dinner for two........or at least a chance to invite him over for Thanksgiving. And if THAT happens, I promise I'll ask the person standing in line next to me to text you my news!!

In the meantime........I will be sort of trying to bridge the gap between my techie understanding and the enthusiasm others, including my family, have over some of it.

I don't really want to be completely left behind.

There wont be anyone around to talk to.

Reverence

Being open to the ineffable moments of nature stretches our spiritual realities.

As we stand in reverent awe, a place cupped in mystery, words slip away into silence.

No rush to find the spoken words. For, it is in the silent reverence in the presence of one of God's creations where we feel the most enlightening affirmation of life.

We don't revere the known.

We revere awe inspiring unknown mysteries, which in turn feeds our creativity.

The essence of the unknown drives our insatiable need to understand. And yet, there are so many wonders without the possibility of an explanation. That's reality..........a reality wrapped in the indescribability of a symphonic faith.

Gee, I wonder if someone slipped something in my wine tonight? I have no clue where that came from or if it makes one iota of sense.