"When we tell stories, we touch hearts. If we talk about theories and speak about ideas, the mind may assimilate them but the heart remains untouched. It is the story of a specific person that is the way to the heart." Jean Vanier.
Here is a story for you...................... :)
Open Hearted Jenny
I was blessed to have had the opportunity to find my first real full-time job at the Hugh MacMillan centre in Toronto. It is a well regarded rehabilitation centre for children who have disabilities of all severities. I was hired to start up and run a "sensory stimulation" program for kids who were multiply handicapped, through a "Child Life/Recreational therapy" department. This was way back in the 80's, when this type of program was truly in it's infancy stages.
I had just completed running a successful summer daycamp program (also a new concept back then) for the kids at the Centre, and had fallen in love with the idea of putting off my Master's degree for a year to tackle this challenge. It was the best decision, because it allowed me to learn a powerful lesson. I loved the atmosphere of the Hugh MacMillan Centre. It was a hub of healing that had a flow of kids and their families, of volunteers and caregiving staff. I felt a strong sense of belonging at the Centre and embraced the unlimited learning opportunities it provided through the "Child Life" department.
I saw my role primarily as an entertainer; someone who "brought" the world to these kids because they weren't able to go out to the world themselves. It was a critical part of their rehabilitation and therapy, and definately the most fun part of their daily routine, which consisted mostly of medical interventions, orthotic and seating fittings, speech therapy, physical therapy..........the gamut. At the end of the day, my colleagues and I would show up on the wards with various activities lined up for all the patients. I was given my own playroom which I decorated with the idea that all senses must be respected and addressed. Bright colours, textures, music, fresh breezes, sand and water and a big blow up mattress, tasty treats, books and puzzles and crafty supplies were all there for our enjoyment. As well, a weekly trip somewhere fun in Toronto was arranged. Out in the back garden, we had a firepit, shady trees, flowers and a vegetable garden. Even the fence was decorated with colourful strips of cloth that blew in the breeze. Musicians, dancers, crafts people and other enthusiastic volunteers came and went. It was a magical place, that came alive because of the Child Life program.
A new part of me came alive that year when I met Jenny. Her memory has been with me all week after reading the Jean Vanier book, Becoming Human. I had written about Jenny last year, but decided to re-visit the post............and share it again.
Jenny was an 11 year old little girl, who despite her severe physical and cognitive limitations, was full of joy. When I first met her, however, she sat in her encumbering wheelchair lost in her world, with a look of resignation and boredom. Despite the fact that this institution was a rehab centre, Jenny had been "living" there for close to a year. She attended "school" and all types of recreational type programs in the evening, but she lived on a ward with no privacy and with not a lot to stimulate her.
I had no idea how I would reach her, but I knew that she had more potential than she was exhibiting. From the very beginning of our relationship, I decided to ensure that Jenny would attend and be involved in any programs that I was providing. She would be my assistant so to speak.
When I first began working with Jenny, she refused to even wheel herself and I told her that I refused to push her. At first, she didn't know what to think of this or me, because she was so used to being completely dependent. Everyone did everything for her. It was easier, right? So, I turned into a game. Either I would run ahead 10 feet and hide in a doorway or I would pretend to be chasing her. Like a toddler, she loved the surprise and would startle at me jumping out with a big "BOO" and then would start laughing joyfully at the fun. Before too long, she anticipated my game and would wheel herself more quickly to find me. A game of hide and seek.............a first for her and a huge step towards Jenny finding some motivation.
The game turned into progress. I would often find Jenny exploring her home on her own, waiting for me to arrive for our evening of fun.For a whole year, we were inseparable every evening. Our bond grew to a level of comfortable love. Even if I was working with an older group of kids that were higher functioning than Jenny, she was by my side. If I wasn't able to give her my full attention, my assistant was still a part of the group interactions. At times, if I was working with another child who was multiply handicapped and needed my full attention, I would set up a tub of water and toys on Jenny's wheelchair tray, put on her favourite music and situate her nearby. We were comfortably inseparable.
During those sessions, Jenny would often sing garbly words while she contentedly played. Every now and then, she would stop and call my name out in a tone that always tripped me up to thinking that what she was going to follow up with a string of words that formed a ponderous question.
"Dana..........?"
"Yes, Jenny"............... I'd reply and wait to hear what she had to say...............
"Um.........." and then a long garbly worded question would follow.
It would make me laugh, because I just figured that one day, clarity would happen. I also wondered if only I could understand her own language. She was saying something profound amidst the gibberish. What I did know is that we were both happy hanging out together. What I did know is that I had opened a few doors for her to follow me through.
Henri Nouwen writes about finding God and the Holy Spirit in the individuals in our lives that are less fortunate..........whether it's financial poverty or whether its because of a disability. Through his experiences, he learned that it is through working with people that we are blessed. We are not the ones to provide the blessings. It's the other way around.
A powerful transformation of our hearts......a deeper feeling of compassion is learned. Once felt, it never leaves you.
I was blessed by Jenny. She taught me the same lesson both Vanier and Nouwen have written about. My year with this little girl who for the most part lived a life that was limited in so many ways showed me the face of God. Through her trust, her infectious laugh, the sparkle in her eye and the smile that would spread over her face when she saw me enter her room every evening, Jenny reinforced the lesson of appreciation, kinship and love. She always made me smile, and continues to warm my heart many years later...........
Thinking of you Jen.................with love.
Here is a story for you...................... :)
Open Hearted Jenny
I was blessed to have had the opportunity to find my first real full-time job at the Hugh MacMillan centre in Toronto. It is a well regarded rehabilitation centre for children who have disabilities of all severities. I was hired to start up and run a "sensory stimulation" program for kids who were multiply handicapped, through a "Child Life/Recreational therapy" department. This was way back in the 80's, when this type of program was truly in it's infancy stages.
I had just completed running a successful summer daycamp program (also a new concept back then) for the kids at the Centre, and had fallen in love with the idea of putting off my Master's degree for a year to tackle this challenge. It was the best decision, because it allowed me to learn a powerful lesson. I loved the atmosphere of the Hugh MacMillan Centre. It was a hub of healing that had a flow of kids and their families, of volunteers and caregiving staff. I felt a strong sense of belonging at the Centre and embraced the unlimited learning opportunities it provided through the "Child Life" department.
I saw my role primarily as an entertainer; someone who "brought" the world to these kids because they weren't able to go out to the world themselves. It was a critical part of their rehabilitation and therapy, and definately the most fun part of their daily routine, which consisted mostly of medical interventions, orthotic and seating fittings, speech therapy, physical therapy..........the gamut. At the end of the day, my colleagues and I would show up on the wards with various activities lined up for all the patients. I was given my own playroom which I decorated with the idea that all senses must be respected and addressed. Bright colours, textures, music, fresh breezes, sand and water and a big blow up mattress, tasty treats, books and puzzles and crafty supplies were all there for our enjoyment. As well, a weekly trip somewhere fun in Toronto was arranged. Out in the back garden, we had a firepit, shady trees, flowers and a vegetable garden. Even the fence was decorated with colourful strips of cloth that blew in the breeze. Musicians, dancers, crafts people and other enthusiastic volunteers came and went. It was a magical place, that came alive because of the Child Life program.
A new part of me came alive that year when I met Jenny. Her memory has been with me all week after reading the Jean Vanier book, Becoming Human. I had written about Jenny last year, but decided to re-visit the post............and share it again.
Jenny was an 11 year old little girl, who despite her severe physical and cognitive limitations, was full of joy. When I first met her, however, she sat in her encumbering wheelchair lost in her world, with a look of resignation and boredom. Despite the fact that this institution was a rehab centre, Jenny had been "living" there for close to a year. She attended "school" and all types of recreational type programs in the evening, but she lived on a ward with no privacy and with not a lot to stimulate her.
I had no idea how I would reach her, but I knew that she had more potential than she was exhibiting. From the very beginning of our relationship, I decided to ensure that Jenny would attend and be involved in any programs that I was providing. She would be my assistant so to speak.
When I first began working with Jenny, she refused to even wheel herself and I told her that I refused to push her. At first, she didn't know what to think of this or me, because she was so used to being completely dependent. Everyone did everything for her. It was easier, right? So, I turned into a game. Either I would run ahead 10 feet and hide in a doorway or I would pretend to be chasing her. Like a toddler, she loved the surprise and would startle at me jumping out with a big "BOO" and then would start laughing joyfully at the fun. Before too long, she anticipated my game and would wheel herself more quickly to find me. A game of hide and seek.............a first for her and a huge step towards Jenny finding some motivation.
The game turned into progress. I would often find Jenny exploring her home on her own, waiting for me to arrive for our evening of fun.For a whole year, we were inseparable every evening. Our bond grew to a level of comfortable love. Even if I was working with an older group of kids that were higher functioning than Jenny, she was by my side. If I wasn't able to give her my full attention, my assistant was still a part of the group interactions. At times, if I was working with another child who was multiply handicapped and needed my full attention, I would set up a tub of water and toys on Jenny's wheelchair tray, put on her favourite music and situate her nearby. We were comfortably inseparable.
During those sessions, Jenny would often sing garbly words while she contentedly played. Every now and then, she would stop and call my name out in a tone that always tripped me up to thinking that what she was going to follow up with a string of words that formed a ponderous question.
"Dana..........?"
"Yes, Jenny"............... I'd reply and wait to hear what she had to say...............
"Um.........." and then a long garbly worded question would follow.
It would make me laugh, because I just figured that one day, clarity would happen. I also wondered if only I could understand her own language. She was saying something profound amidst the gibberish. What I did know is that we were both happy hanging out together. What I did know is that I had opened a few doors for her to follow me through.
Henri Nouwen writes about finding God and the Holy Spirit in the individuals in our lives that are less fortunate..........whether it's financial poverty or whether its because of a disability. Through his experiences, he learned that it is through working with people that we are blessed. We are not the ones to provide the blessings. It's the other way around.
A powerful transformation of our hearts......a deeper feeling of compassion is learned. Once felt, it never leaves you.
I was blessed by Jenny. She taught me the same lesson both Vanier and Nouwen have written about. My year with this little girl who for the most part lived a life that was limited in so many ways showed me the face of God. Through her trust, her infectious laugh, the sparkle in her eye and the smile that would spread over her face when she saw me enter her room every evening, Jenny reinforced the lesson of appreciation, kinship and love. She always made me smile, and continues to warm my heart many years later...........
Thinking of you Jen.................with love.
7 comments:
Another beautifully rendered post. The Vanier/Nouwen material is sinking in, I see. There was another one (if I remember correctly) about a young boy at summer camp you told me about once -- an epiphany near the end of the summer, a smile? ... can't remember the details but would love to read about it.
Love.
thank Robin. Jenny was "with me" throughout my time reading Vanier's book last weekend and has remained with me since. Even when I was reading some of the passages out to Jamie, he thought of her too. She was a very special little girl.
I am only thinking of one little boy at camp with what you have mentioned, and I can't remember telling you about him. He had a serious "bout" of ADD....couldn't sit still or focus......except when he was trying to feed the chipmunks.....he would lie on the dirt path still AS still can be with a peanut on his nose and wait for the chipmunk to scamper up his body to reach the peanut on his nose! Is that him?
No, although I love that story. I am thinking more of a moment of recognition/knowing/understanding that flashed up after days and weeks of incomprehension. Ring any bells?
matthew! I wrote about him and it was posted on the NB CBC website last year as a part of the series on finding faith.
It's also on my blog too.....november, 2005....Entitled Recognizing a moment of Grace.
many magical connections have occured because of that article being posted. I've heard from a few old friends who found it through a google search of my name.
Amazing......
That's it! Matthew is the one. I just read it again. These are chapters in a book, don't you know?
Lovely story..
As I read it, I could feel two people loving each other...each feeling joy from the presence of the other..
Some of my thoughts after reading this story--
Jenny was given a gift of belonging...feeling she belonged by your side...why? because you felt she did......and she could feel that.......and it was so.
She could feel that you believed in her...you invited her to play- to be part of the experience along with you.
Even though Jenny's body and "higher order thought processes" were "limited" and "limiting" in some ways...she was capable of the highest order of human interaction--love.
So who is "worthy" of our attention and efforts at interacting?...How often do "we" place people into two groups...one with potential and one with less or none...the visible group and the invisible group..
Your's and Jen's story has given me a wonderful reminder to be aware of how easy it is to judge the potential of others...(and to use this judgement to justify ignoring someone or withholding showing ourselves. We can justify speaking differently to someone if we see them as different from ourselves..unreachable...uninterested--perhaps we turn off feeling, caring, or love...and of course, they feel this, too)..
how important it is to "see" the potential of others. People need to be aware of how they "turn it off" around some and "turn it back on with others"...
there are such wonderful possibilities from showing love and kindness even to those that don't seem to want or deserve it.
And how much can be lost if we look away...look past...show no genuineness...people can feel that caring and love is not anything that the world can give them...that they are singled out..that people are not truly loving or to be trusted..all "people" lose their humanity in the eyes of the invisible-- and that is heartbreaking...and maybe in some cases dangerous?
Wow...so glad you shared this story and that I decided to click on your comment from another blog. Thanks.
Jen
thanks Robin.....many stories to write before I sleep :) Yes, I have that in the back of my mind and will continue to use the blog as a way to archive .... it feels like things are kind of pulling together.....ideas, themes, stories. it will emerge.....
Jen....thank you and welcome to my blog. Your thoughts and feedback mirrors my own thinking....
too often we miss out on amazing connections with others because we size up a situation and move on or something.....
my time working with Jennifer felt special and unique even in the moment.....the " deeper insights" have evolved more and more through the process of writing the stories....and of marrying what I am reading and thinking with my life work/experiences. I love it when that happens!!
I will visit your blog too.
cheers.
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