Is there really such a thing as a neutral facial expression? Is it possible to hide all of our emotions from another person? If all it takes is one little cheek flutter, one speck of a face tic, one blink longer than the other, a lick of the lips, a downturned look, a quickening flush of colour.........just one of those finger on the nose movements to communicate that something is afoot, how can anyone boast about having a poker face?
Stare into the eyes of another a little longer than you usually do, and the game is on to figure out the thoughts of another. What are trying to convey? Interest? Sexual desire? Are you trying to intimidate the other person? If you turn them away too quickly, are you hiding something? Feeling uncomfortable? Lying? Or are you just taking a break and thinking about a response?
More times than not, we aren't even aware of our own message projections. They become so much of our pattern of communicating, they spill out unthinkingly. When was the last time you consciously thought about the messages you inadvertently passed on? When was the last time you read the person's face talk and got it completely right???
The human interaction game has some rules, but retains a sense of puzzling mystery........ enough to keep us interested in playing because we all hold different cards based on our comfort level, our personalities, our skills and gifts. It is fraught with underlying motives, layered in with a level of attraction, repressed feelings, thoughts and past experiences. Wounds from broken down attempts at connecting with another play a part too. As do our past successes in smoothly going where no one else has penetrated before.
Some people exude a sense of confidence, an attractiveness which acts like a magnet, pulling others into their space. Do you know anyone like that? Are you like that?? Charisma. Energy. An alluring smile. They are masters at the game of human interaction, moving from a flirtatious coyness to a determined yet friendly approach that can make someone else feel like they're the only person in the world that matters right then and there! Fascinating! Where do they learn this skill? Is it an inherent thing, or do we learn through modelling and observing other's expressions as children?? Not one word need to be spoken, and yet the energy emanating between two people radiates with such an aura that it seems to be in colour.
According to Eric Berne, the Transactual Analysis guru, "games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away...." The game of interaction holds many rules.....but it comes down to how close you want to be with another, and how close they want to be with you. Sometimes it is a cat and mouse game...... I'm OK, You're Not OK....... Sometimes it can be a mouse and cat game ..... I'm not OK, You're OK. Sometimes the energy between two people is so repelling or perhaps the opposite, so electric that its too frightening to contemplate intimacy, and it turns into two bears vying for the same cave... I'm not OK, You're not OK.
Ah, but then there are times when two people, under the right circumstances, in the right moodlight, with the right chemistry and with the ability to read the facial expressions, the body language, the intentions behind the game that they drop the pretences, relax and move into a place of spiritual intimacy that can only be considered a perfect match. No more games......... Just an I'm OK, You're OK checkmate. It's lovely when that happens...........
Today's writing prompt from Sunday Scribblings is "games." Though I do love a good game of cribbage, and have been known get all heated over a game of scrabble.......... the human race game is the one I prefer to play. For more game playing interpretations, check out Sunday Scribblings.....