No matter the distance."While we live in the world, we always live in distance. Often the greatest distance is not physical but mental. Maya Angelou has said, 'And lovers think quite different thoughts while lying side by side.' Often the nature of one's mind is what separates us most from another. There is also emotional distance when some hurt or wound constructs a wall between friends.
In the west of Ireland, we share the interesting phrase: 'I have fallen out with someone.' Once the bond of kinship and togetherness is broken, you fall out of it; ie., you fall into distance again. Though distance can have many forms of separation, it need never by spiritual. One can still continue to remain close in spirit to the distanced one.
The beauty of blessing is that it recognizes no barriers -- and no distances. All the given frontiers of blockage that separate us can be penetrated by the loving subtlety of blessing. This can often be the key to awakening and creating forgiveness. We often linger in the crippling states of anger and resentment. Hurt is always unfair and unexpected; it can leave a bitter residue that poisons the space between us. Eventually the only way forward is forgiveness.
We tend to see forgiveness as the willingness to see beyond what has been done to us; and it is. But the gift of forgiveness is also a gift to us. When we forgive, we free ourselves. No longer do we hang, sore and torn from the injury done to us. Even though it goes against the at first, when we practice sending blessing to those who have injured us, forgiveness begins to become possible."
John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
( © John O’Donohue. All rights reserved.)
http://www.johnodonohue.com
In the west of Ireland, we share the interesting phrase: 'I have fallen out with someone.' Once the bond of kinship and togetherness is broken, you fall out of it; ie., you fall into distance again. Though distance can have many forms of separation, it need never by spiritual. One can still continue to remain close in spirit to the distanced one.
The beauty of blessing is that it recognizes no barriers -- and no distances. All the given frontiers of blockage that separate us can be penetrated by the loving subtlety of blessing. This can often be the key to awakening and creating forgiveness. We often linger in the crippling states of anger and resentment. Hurt is always unfair and unexpected; it can leave a bitter residue that poisons the space between us. Eventually the only way forward is forgiveness.
We tend to see forgiveness as the willingness to see beyond what has been done to us; and it is. But the gift of forgiveness is also a gift to us. When we forgive, we free ourselves. No longer do we hang, sore and torn from the injury done to us. Even though it goes against the at first, when we practice sending blessing to those who have injured us, forgiveness begins to become possible."
John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
( © John O’Donohue. All rights reserved.)
http://www.johnodonohue.com
A blessing transforms physical distance into the tranquility of spiritual space between you and the one who may be far away from home. One heartfelt simple gift blessing opens the door for the one to return from the journey.
12 comments:
Whoooo-boy, Dana, did I need to read that!! It seems I have "fallen out" with someone here not in an explosive way, but more by neglect. I need to get on the phone and see if I can do the talking. Thanks for the mind-slap.
Hey Murf.... you would LOVE this book, "To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue. This passage was part of his explanation on the expression of blessings. I keep it close by and dip into it a couple of times a day. Great stuff.
Bon chance with the phone call. Its so easy to have a falling out isn't it? We get so busy and then time slides by and before we know it we're in friendship limbo wondering if we can repair the neglect. I often wonder if that's whats happened with Phineas, though I've told him he never has to worry about that with me....
Dana:
You are correct in forgivness being freeing.
Talk soon
Mavis
I never used to believe that forgiveness was freeing. As the wronged party I wanted to hold onto my outrage and anger. I felt it was justified due to the wrong that had been done to me. Then I realised it was starting to define me. It was stopping me from moving forward. Even though I didn't want to, I forgave. And lights came on all around!
Mavis...It truly unhooks us from the emotions which hold us hostage doesn't it?
Selma.... I had a similar experience which lasted a long time. It wasn't until I didn't want to feel the misery of the situation anymore that I realized it was through forgiveness (and asking for it too because I became so obstinate with this particular person) that I finally felt a sense of lightness and freedom. YES the lights came on all over the place!
It is so great to see how John’s work continues to weave “words of love . . . an invisible cloak, to mind your life.” I also want to support you in sharing that inspiration and love. I am, however, responsible for minding the technicalities connected with the preservation of John’s estate and literary legacy. John’s family would be very grateful if you would add to your quotes a note that gives the title of the book from which a given excerpt is taken – along with a copyright attribution ( © John O’Donohue. All rights reserved.) and the web site: www.johnodonohue.com — so that those who want to know more about John can come to us?
warmly and with gratitude,
Lindaa
Linda, I'm sorry I didn't follow the proper guidelines. Will fix it promptly.
Traversing the distance that can sometimes develop between two souls can be a very difficult and arduous journey... but usually one well worth taking.
I really do believe that I would care so little for my literary legacy after I was gone than while I was here that if someone quoted my work on their blog, and reminders about copyright attributions and all rights being reserved flew in, it would sadden me and gladden me that I was free of such a world. But hey, that's just me.
Bear.... particularly if it is with someone whom you have a strong spiritual and historical tie to don't you think?
Sue... Given that there is a quote on my header, a quote on my sidebar and several quotes interspersed through the life of this blog by this beautiful man, it was a strange feeling to have this request asked of me all of a sudden.
I have continually promoted Father O's books and purchased many copies for friends over the past two years since I was introduced to his work by a couple of blogger friends who knew him personally. I can only assume that there are issues with copyright on another front and they have had to clamp down or something.
Of all the books I have read over the course of re-acquainting myself to religion and faith, Father O'Donohue's Anam Cara and Beauty have by far been the most spiritually influential. Both of my copies are dog eared and loved. Rarely a day goes by that I don't dip into one of his books. I know I'm not alone either because of all the "googled" topics that bring people to this site John O'Donohue's name tops the list.
I only wish I had been able to meet the man in person.
Beautiful post, Dana.
...reacquainting myself with religion and faith. That's right where I am. O'Donohue's quotes always resonate with me, and I appreciate you introducing me to him. I'll have to look for a book.
:-)
I appreciate you, Dana. Blogging has brought a few wonderful blessings into my life, and you are one of them. I especially appreciated the nugget of honesty you left on my blog the other day.
;-)
Jen.... I'm glad our paths have crossed too. Your post the other day touched a chord in me at the right time of day. ;)
Please do seek out Father O's work. It is pure poetry for the soul.
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