Sunday, October 25, 2009


rain soaked impressionism
through the windshield
from the driver's seat
Oct, 2009

Most days, clarity is an illusion steeped in mystical impressionism. Ah! But on some days, stark reality rattles bones and leaves a lingering echo reverberating deep into the baritone swell of the soul. This is when the desire of seeing an altar resplendently graced with Affirmation moves into a ripe longing. It can send you to your knees. Holy loneliness haunts until it is recognized as a transitional touchpoint.... an awakening epiphany. A fear of God moment? In all its reverential orchestration.

The thought I am pondering today as I picture what my preferred altar looks and feels like as I sit feeling the resonance of the cello playing inside me.....

Love always has a tinge of vulnerability to it. When it's real. When it rattles bones. When you give it. When you receive it.

Which leads me to wonder.........

Does God feel vulnerable too when He shares His love for real? How about when He feels your love for Him?


JP/deb said...

If we are made in God's image, then I believe the answer is yes.

peace & love,

Cloudia said...

Saw your lovely comment at Carmi's today and wanted to stop by here and pay my respects.

You are invited to come by. Monday's post sort of continues the dialog Carmi started.

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

Jen said...

Holy lonliness...that in itself is validating.

I've been wondering for over a year what that intense, deep feeling was.

This is a beautiful, comforting post, Dana.

Awareness said...

Deb.... me too. It comforts me to believe He feels that tender vulnerability too.

Cloudia.... thank you. Carmi is a wonderful friend. I love how he shares from his heart and is comfortable sharing his feelings.

I will visit your blog as well.

Jen.... holy loneliness.... right now, I'm listening to a choir chanting quietly. There is a background sound behind their voices that tells me they recorded it in a large cathedral. I'm envisioning it as very old, made of stone.....high arches and domes. That's the sound. This music reminds me of holy loneliness. I love the deeply angelic and religious feel to it. Absolutely salve for the soul on this Sunday night, late October.....
holy loneliness.... the grace of God.

Carmi said...

Driver's seats of vans seem to be incredible places of creativity these days!

I was floored first by the picture - which if you're ever offering for commissions I'm now going on record as politely requesting the first copy. Then I was floored by your words, for I've been churning similar thoughts in my head for weeks.

In my admittedly simplistic view of things, love has always been about having the courage to let somebody in, to open ourselves up to potentially devastating hurt as we seek even greater personal growth and humanity.

You know where I stand: it's always been a risk worth taking. And those who take it learn to appreciate the many levels of blessing associated with taking that step, that chance, that journey.

I echo JP/Deb's sentiment: We reflect the essence of the one who created us.

And I'm tickled that you and Cloudia have connected. I have relatively few friends on this planet. The ones I have are dear indeed, and I'm blessed to have crossed both of your paths.

Awareness said...'re on. The first one is yours. :)

I too want to keep things as pure and as simplistic as I can when it comes to understanding love. It is a risk worth taking despite the trepidations. And if we strive to live in the image of God, we strive to give love the way He does. Unconditional and with open arms.

Yes, I've visited Cloudia's blog tonight and will visit again. I love how like minds can cross paths even through the maze of millions of blogs.

love to you Carmi.....and to your family.

paulwchambers said...

father O once said to me that we should all take the chalice of our love, and carry it carefully through this echoless waste until this winter pilgrimage leads you toward the gateway of spring... love is only possible with vulnerability, that's my take anyway

Awareness said...

paul....that place of vulnerability? It's a beautiful place to visit and to stay awhile... a place of healing and wholeness.... a place where ALL the music is truly excellent. :)

Selma said...

I do believe there would be an ache to divine love, a vulnerability that just couldn't be masked. Perhaps that vulnerability is where the nature of humanity comes from.

Your photo is stunning. It looks like a painting. Glorious colours!

Awareness said...

Selma.... I think you're right. It is a scary place to go....that place of vulnerability, but wouldn't it solve many of life's issues ... global issues even if we found the courage to step into that place and stay there for while together?

Sherry said...

I love your words, as usual, Dana, and they cover some of my favorite topics - clarity, vulnerability, "holy lonliness". However, I can't get over that photo. I thought it was a painting, also. Did you take more than one shot?

Awareness said...

Hi Sherry.

Thank you. I took a couple of photos while sitting in the parking lot near the NB Conservation house near the market on Saturday morning. It was pouring rain and the windshield was drenched. That's why it looks blurry and the colours are different. The leaves are of a scrappy little tree caught between the old green fence and a metal shed.