Thursday, October 08, 2009

5 make me think....

Tonight a meme from my beautiful friend Gypsy. She chose 5 words specifically for me to use as a jumping off point for some random thought scribbling. Its always interesting to see where your thoughts go in a writing exercise like this. You can easily narrow in on one itchy idea and go with that. But, if you take a step back a bit, the options on where your words will sail becomes a little more adventurous. I don't know yet where these words will lead, but I'm anxious to find out.... Lets see...


Say it silently to yourself, or give it a voice and the word regret still has a taste of salty tears. Listen to it closely and you can hear it sigh remorsefully. Try to lift it and you feel the tugging burden of unresolved mistakes. Regret shackles you to the past and lurks like a stalker obsessed with impacting your present life.

Is there anything good about a little bit of wallowing in a puddle of regret? Well, the longer you stay in that perpetual rumination of blame and shame, the more you want to find the right key to unlock the shackles that bind and get the hell out of there. Perhaps regret in all its self-flagellation, is really a motivator to get unstuck from the moment?


My Psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I asked for a second opinion. So he said, "Ok, you're ugly too."

Badabing!'s not's as old as the hills. I stole that from Rodney Dangerfield. But it still makes me laugh.

So, what do I have to say about the word crazy? It's under-rated. Try it sometime. Just remember, there is a HUGE difference between being crazy and being a crazy maker. What's the difference???

Crazy is eccentric, unpredictable, kind of funny, a little outrageous, sort of lovable, RED, PURPLE and Shiny, spontaneously laughs out loud, lightheartedly responsible, motivated to embarrass her children in a crazy auntie kind of way, flirty and friendly, non intrusive, a happy dancing fool. Crazy carries quirkiness in her multi-coloured purse.

Crazy Makers are off balanced, obsessive compulsive , a little frightening, mind manipulators extraordinaire, award winning victims, people's space invaders, motivated by lustful jealousy, not aware of being crazy, always blaming others for misinterpreting their actions, folks with socio-pathological personality traits. Never in the wrong, they deny deny, deny.... Crazy makers carry mind mace in their black bag of endless tricks.

SEE? Big difference eh? So who would you want to share your Fruit Loops with?


This week, it's been my turn to be sitting at a student's desk in a classroom listening to the teacher. OH.MY.GOD! I can't stand it!!!!! It is a mind numbing exercise in trying to remained focused on a talking head at the front of the class.

I'm taking a train the trainer course on Non Violent Crisis Intervention. By the end of the day tomorrow, I will not only be qualified to teach this course (believe me, I won't be jumping at the chance to do this as it is written in the instructor's manual) I will be able to restrain you............ legally. So, don't mess with me, unless of course you would LIKE me to restrain you.


I don't know which way I'm going
I can't find it on my map....
seems like I get lost if I look too far ahead.
But I know it don't come easy,
life's supposed to be this way....
at least that's what my latest self help guru said.....

Gotta a compass in my pocket
and the sun to guide by day.
But when the lonely stars are out at night
Only love can point the way.

I don't know what I'm after
No answers in the wind.......
seems like its a never ending road of self reflection.
But I'm sick of gazing at this face
I see no beauty looking back,
why can't i simply accept those blatant imperfections?

I have no idea how this fits with the word alive, except that these are the words that just tumbled out of me..... so, well, there you go...........


Charismatically paradoxical, passion burns and delights. Like the heat of two bodies entwined in a hungry love tango, it simmers in endless longing. Unanchored, passion can force you down onto your knees as well as lift you up into the thin air beyond the clouds, beyond recognition. Whether it stimulates suffering through blind yearning or focused intent, passion has the potential to pump you with enough energetic adrenaline to transform your emotions into determined thoughts, which in turn can move you into action.

Passion can be good or evil, light or dark. It can bring joy or it can surround itself with sobbing sorrow. Unwilling to surrender to mediocre, it suffers fools gladly by consuming disbelievers. Passion has NO time for skeptics.

As much as it can be selfishly all encompassing and bring darkness to this world, it can also be a selflessly open-hearted expression of love. Passion radiates, frightens, motivates, inspires, stirs, refreshes, churns, shocks, delights. It is the central focal point where all emotions derive from, and return to when they need a boost. It makes us want to breathe more deeply, devour more hungrily, wrestle bears with more desire.

Passion has the panache of a flamenco dancer, the mystical faith of a seeker, and the freedom of a gypsy soul. Paradoxically, it has the light fingers of a pickpocket and can steal away your morals. It is what makes you feel crazy, it may even force you to turn your life in a different direction. It certainly wakes you up and makes your whole being feel more ALIVE.

Can it lead to regret? Only if it gets you in trouble. And if you cross that line, I may have to restrain you. I know how.

ps. thanks Gypsy. :)


Gypsy said...

Well done you gorgeous thing. I knew you would do me proud.

Well it is definite...I am a little bit crazy if your definition is correct. Just ask my kids....I take great delight in embarrassing them at every turn and I never regret it either.

Don't you just love the word passion? It makes me feel alive just saying it.

PS Thanks for the email too. It made me feel a lot better. :)

Marja said...

Good one Dana I love your passion which indeed encompasses all. Passion can do anything and be everywhere. I love all the others to but I don't do regret, like edith sang Je ne regret de rien
Have a great weekend. Arohanui

Bear said...

Hi Dana, I've dropped in from Selma's blog, and I see that we have another mutual friend in Gypsy.

I like what you did with your five words and I'm with Gypsy and Marja on Passion.

I've only read a few of your posts, but within that few you managed to quote two of my favourite singer/songwriters, Van Morrison and Tom Waits. I'll be back to read some more.


Jen said...

I fit the word 'crazy' alright.
And I have to be honest, I have some 'crazy maker' in me, too.

Passion - whoa. That's a great one. Light and dark. Good and bad. If only we could know when to say when.

kenju said...

Excellent!! and I really like the last line.

paulwchambers said...

all good choices and full of healthy distubing

Awareness said...

Gypsy...I'm glad you liked it. :) I honestly didn't know where I was going with the piece. I had written the regret section last week, and then just stalled until the other night and it all came tumbling out in one go at it. It wasn't until I finished the piece on passion when I realized how I could tie it all in together. I love how the writing process works.

Keep that beautiful chin up...!

Marja... Thank you Marja. What I find about one's passion is that you have to pay attention to it and kind of direct it a bit, or it can get out of hand. Sometimes it can make you so off keel. And other times, it spurs creativity. I do believe it is the core hub and oxygen centre of all emotions.

Bear, welcome! Yes, I've noticed we have mutual blog friends. Thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment.
I find music is often what generates the ideas for my blog pieces.

Awareness said...

Jen.... The crazy in all of us just hovers under the skin I think. We choose to let it out... and the crazy maker in us? Yeah, it lurks there too.

Judy... I am proud to state that I passed the course. Look out nasty angry people. I now know my own strength and it's POWERFUL... :)

Paul.... well, you know how much I like to shake things up... in a healthy disturbing way of course.

Amritbir Kaur said...

What beautiful lines: "I don't know what I'm after
No answers in the wind.......
seems like its a never ending road of self reflection."
Basically the whole post was brilliantly worded. I enjoyed every word of it. Glad to have visted your blog :)

Awareness said...

Amritbir...Welcome and thank you for your kind feedback. Take care.

Brother David said...

From the handful of words, I would choose Crazy. My life is punctuated with eccentric folk, I like it that way; it helps me remainsane (I think).
Secretly I am sure, I want to be crazy. There seems to be freedom in that state but we have to keep control, be respectable, responsible and - - how boring!