down the path..........

And it is still true,

no matter how old you are,

when you go out into the world

it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Robert Fulghum

When was the last time you had a whole week in front of you that was all new learning, when everything was new to you? New routine, new experiences, new people, new surroundings, new opportunities......new, new, new....? It doesn't happen very often does it? Our lives are for the most part routine, staying within the lines of the known with a few dabbles here and there of new learning where we stretch out to dip our toe in the stream of discomfort. It takes a move or trip or a job change or a loss or a major change in our lives to foist us into NEW.

And what accompanies NEW? Different levels of anxiety are present, and depending on the event our nervousness seeps into our bellies filling them with butterflies and growls. Excitement too is a form of heightened alertness....same adrenaline bursts as anxiety I think. Curiosity, motivation, hesitancy, wonder, fear, grief, joy, sorrow and lots and lots of questions......expressed openly or not....depending on the situation.

NEW learning............takes us down paths that may have been trodden by others before us, but are not trodden by us......and it always leaves us changed. New learning is change, no matter how intense the feelings...........it starts a chain of events..........

This is where my thinking is tonight. See the accompanying picture? Right down that path is a little cabin with 8 boys nestled in for the night with their camp counsellors. One of the boys is my son, who is in for a whole week of NEW. Today, we dropped him off at a sleepover camp for his first foray. Being the youngest in this family, he hasn't had as many opportunities to do something independent of his big sister or of his Mom and Dad. Even when he went off to kindergarten, his sister and her friends were there to greet him. So, today my son has begun a week of new learning. And I'm thinking that I've got some of that ahead of me too because his changes impact changes in me as I come to a different level of accepting that he is growing up independent of me and his Dad.

This isn't a new concept. Many have walked this path before us. However, the path is new to us. Familiar in some respects........

Robert Fulghum first became famous for his book entitled, "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." It was a clever and charming anecdotal book about the important lessons in life..........about sharing and being kind to others. I thought of the book today, knowing these life lessons are also relearned at summer camp when you're sharing space with a group of others you aren't related to.

These are also life lessons we all try to instill in our children to nurture their openness to others....to be thoughtful and empathic, to be expressive in their wants and needs, to look out for others. It seems to me this is the foundation needed to be self-confident in order to take strides into unchartered territory knowing you can rely yourself. Every new learning, whether it happens when you are 9 or 90, provides a chance to test our personal questions..........."Can I?" "Do I?" "Will I?" And I guess the key is to know that any new learning is linked to all the other building blocks accumulated in life. First time tries for young ones we hope are successful because they will encourage future risk taking. Knowing and and feeling this way, I hope this week for him is triumphant because it can lead to so many other unchartered paths that one day he will want to try.

So, I sit here tonight, feeling a bit of a mess...........more of a mess than I had expected as I realize my little boy, who fills this house with his presence, is off for a week of NEW without us.

I should be comforted by the knowledge that he has many tools in his life toolbox already.....some he's accumulated on his own figuring stuff out, and some we have provided for him. I should be comforted in knowing that he will be experiencing many of the same life lessons I learned at the very same age at camp. It does help, believe me, but it also makes my reaction all the more surprising. I know he will be safe and cared for...........that's not what seems to be twisting inside me. And I don't clearly know what it is. But the pangs are sharp and cannot be ignored. I guess that's what my own learning this week will help me clarify and hopefully will guide me in accepting change. It's all a part of growing up.......for me and for him.

If I have two wishes this week......please let him have the best time of his life.....and let me accept the growing up bit.