random reflections

Tonight, I feel smothered by random thoughts requesting time for small reflections. It was a busy day, one where I had to focus on a list of to dos and not just on one larger task. I guess that's why I'm left with small reflections. So, I will start by identifying five words to describe how I feel at this point in my life.......will call them Pipwords because I have borrowed this idea from my emerald friend in Londontown (Pip, hope you're not too soggy from all the rain)

Spent

Grateful

Dumbfounded

Hot

Content

Spent.......I have revved it up at work as much as I can, though I know I'm not working on all cynlinders. Personally I'm fine with that. It makes sense that I'm not able to do this. My ongoing head butting over trying to find my way, trying to find direction in my job continues, as does my disdain for the powers that be. I'm feeling spent due to this and due to the fact that I'm working straight out in order to walk away from that stressful environment for the rest of the summer. I'm spent by life events. I'm spent because I havent had a good night sleep, where I am not ke pt awake thinking and reflecting and thinking in ages. By the end of the week however, I will be home until school begins again in September........to recharge, evaluate, and to begin to back in shape. So, spent is good. It tells me I'm doing the right thing.

Grateful......for so many things. Right now, I'm grateful that know I have a say in my own destiny and I am taking charge of that. Grateful that I am well aware of what is important in my life and some of what needs to change. Grateful that I have the ability to take new steps and that the confidence to take them will emerge more fully when I have time to clear my head to plan it out. Grateful that I have the opportunity to take the time away from my office. Grateful that I'm not Lindsay Lohan.

Dumbfounded.....OK.......I'm dumbfounded as to why boys and men want to wear their pants like they are about to slide right off their uncovered asses. I found myself walking behind this 20 something slacker guy today. His belt was floating somewhere above his thighs and just below his untucked shirt. I was convinced that I was going to voyeuristically watch his jeans slip down to his ankles as he walked down a busy street. It never happened. He somehow managed to continue walking in a way that they stayed right there. How can that be?

Hot.....no not that kind of hot. I'm hot. Summer is finally here and my core temperature is making me feel hot from the inside out. I'm tempted to phone my friend to see if she would let me jump into her pool for a midnight swim. If I don't cool my feet down soon, I fear they will catch on fire. I hate that feeling.

Content. Today was the most productive day I've had in a long time. I connected with many people, and felt so good about helping a few resolve some of their stuff. I'm content that my to do list is getting smaller so that I can begin to look at my to do list at home. Most importantly, I'm content with this evening's results of the Blue Jays game. WE won again!

I'm off to go find a pool or at least a sprinkler to run through...........

I look forward to a month of deep breath reflections and a chance to take a look in my attic where I have stored up a few ideas..........ones that I just may have time to chase after.

How are you feeling?