Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Election Plots Thicken

Ah.........the excitement and anticipation fills the airwaves and permeates households across this vast nation. Who will win? Who will go down to defeat? Who will rise above the ashes to see the dawning of a new day? OOOOOOOOh! The agony and the ecstacy of an election that has all the trappings of a smutty steamy novel. The twist and turns of storylines as we forge ahead to the climatic ending of a winterlude loaded with intrigue................here are a few to watch unfold tomorrow.

Will Judy Sgro return to political prominence or will she be set adrift to the abyss of consultingland where she can pursue her true calling......helping Russian lap dancers settle comfortably somewhere in the Golden Horseshoe?

Will Al Gretzky, in London West, uncle to the Great One, score a big upset while he pursues his second career and personal passion for politics? Cudos to you Al for putting forth an active display of making change to the issues you talked about. More citizens need to take your lead.

Will Peter Kent, brother of "Scud Stud" Arthur, and only (former) CBC employee to ever support the Tories let alone run for them, knock off Cabinet Minister Carolyn Bennett who won by a landslide last election?

Will Anne McLellan, who only won by 721 votes last time return to Ottawa with her joie de vivre and her voice stuck on whine? Makes one pine for the good old days of Sharon Carstairs.

Will that feisty senior, King of the New Democrats, Ed Schreyer, storm ahead and land in the political fray once again?

Uma.............Oprah...............Uma..................Oprah....................
Svend...........Hedy..........Svend...........Hedy.....eh what?
I have only one thing to say. I'm glad I'm not living in this riding.

Michael Ignatieff, Mighty cerebral Prince of the future Liberals.......what will happen to him? Will he be around to celebrate over a plate of cabbage rolls and perogies? Or will he drown his sorrows over a glass of vodka?

And Belinda...............Princess of Auto Parts..........heartbreaker of knitter Peter McKay. What will be her destiny? If she happens to win and end up in the boudoir of opposition, will she change her satin sheets again, or will she just run for cover?

Stock up on the beer and popcorn boys and girls. You won't want to leave your sofa!

The true end result of this election may not even matter to us minions who spend our time just trying to etch out a balancing act called life. But, it'll be a fun conclusion to the latest reality show. Gee, I wonder if Rupert will show up in his tie dye muscle shirt? I wish he was running. I'd vote for him in a heartbeat.

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