Sunday, May 16, 2010

"Believe in Me"

 we never walk alone

Here are my rambling thoughts this beautiful Sunday morning ........the lilacs are beginning to bloom and there isn't a cloud in the sky....... 

When you say to someone, "I believe in you," what exactly do you mean by that?  It has nothing to do with their outward appearance, or that you can reach out and touch their skin, feel their face, hold their hand.  Surely having the confirmation that the person is real flesh and blood helps, but believing in someone is certainly not that.  There are many people whom I've never had the pleasure of meeting them face to face and I  "believe in them."  Why?  Because they are.........

Truthful
Full of Integrity
Trustworthy
Caring
Compassionate
Expressive
Loved and Loving.
Beautiful in their own unique way.
These the tenets behind that one little statement.  Powerful stuff. 
Its all in the essence of their actions. 

When someone says to you,  "I believe in you," how does that make YOU feel?  Are you apt to smile as you absorb this affirming message, or do you automatically feel the opposite? Rather than a sense of inspiration, do you tense up in perspiration over the very idea that someone would "believe in you" when all can feel is fraudulent?  What stops us from believing that someone else believes in you?  Inconsistent messages.  Insincerity, Lack of trust.  Self loathing. Guilt?  The list is endless.

What happens to the one who once believed in the other human being but can't anymore?  It's shattering.  Why?  Because when you take the risk to be open enough to tell someone you are in their corner, cheering them on, believing in their goodness and core values, it is a vulnerable place to be.  It's a risk.  You've taken a stance that is WIDE open.  When you're WIDE open, you are a bigger target.  When you reach a point in a relationship when the believing is mutual, when it bonds you in partnership and then it all falls to pieces, your ability to believe in anything becomes questionable.  

Lies do that. Secrets create uncertainty.  If someone lies once, will they lie again?    If they are trying to hide the truth from themselves, yes they will.  It's an ineffective hurtful way of trying to cope.  Liars never believe in themselves, and certainly have a tough time accepting that anyone else could "believe in" them either. 

BEEEE-LEEEVE.   It's a masterful word with deep rooted meaning.  When used within the context of a testimonial, it packs a significant punch.  I can't imagine any other phrase, except one other that holds such power. Maybe they mean the same thing.......  they seem to come from the same place, one's heart.  There is the other side of the thought too......... maybe the other person couldn't even grasp the message because they never believed in themselves.  Maybe they don't believe they are worthy of love as well.  Can you really accept such affirmation if you don't see yourself as worthy?  We are all worthy of being loved and of loving others.  How does one help another feel this enough to believe in themselves?

I believe in you.....
I love you.....
Are they one in the same?

I think they are, though as mere mortals, we struggle with giving and receiving this message.  Our stumbling bumbling frailties complicate the purity of simply believing in ourselves.  We are more apt to put ourselves down because we focus on the negative bits....... the ugly bits and stop seeing ourselves as holy unique individuals of beauty.  Sometimes, our ability to express love and compassion to some people in our lives is halted by the fear inside them.  Why?  Is it because humans have created a list of conditional expectations to go along with the love?  

We will never perfect our frailties enough to be able to offer up our love and convictions as unconditionally and as beautiful as God.  We aren't God...... but we are extensions of His love and he has provided us with the emotional capacity and free will to try our best.  He has also created us with a sprinkling of the Holy Spirit in our souls.  When we look at someone in the eyes and tell them that we believe in them..... that we LOVE them, we speak the maternal words of the Holy Spirit.  

God guides us in learning how to share and receive love unconditionally.   He also asks us to practice on Him.  His request............ "Believe in Me..." tells us so.   So, we practice throughout our personal spiritual journeys.  There are days when believing in God is in full bloom and then there are other days when you couldn't scrape a smidgen of conviction out of your soul.  That's alright.  The key is to practice.... to work on it.  

God provides us opportunities to learn how to love and believe through the relationships we covet in our lives.  Its hard work.  Loving and believing aren't givens.  You have to work at it on those days when you couldn't scrape a smidgen of conviction out of your soul.  Both of you.  Sometimes we get it right.  Sometimes we fail miserably.  And, when we stumble.....when we feel like a failure, the healing has to start with yourself.  Relearning that you are "believable"...... that you are "lovable...."  This is the starting point. 

I believe in you.  I do.  I can't live your life and I can't make your decisions.  I can't force you to accept what I have expressed.  I have no control over how you receive my emotionally charged testimonial.  All I can do is try to describe what that statement means to me........ what is behind it.  I take a risk, knowing my love is not perfect, that my beliefs are still forming on my lips as I say it out loud.  And if by me telling you how beautiful you are.......... what a blessing you are in my life.... If by me honestly reminding you that you are a gift from God offers you a gentle nudge towards accepting your own lovability quotient, I will be content.

"I believe in you"............. helps me believe in me too.  Its where honesty takes root. 

Please don't be frightened by it.  There's nothing to be frightened of by someone believing in you..... by someone loving you. 

We are all works in progress........ learning to love and learning how to be loved. Just as we are. 

the lilacs are beginning to bloom.......  This morning, I am still.  I am quiet.  Its good for me.  Why?  Because the quiet allows me to hear those words...... 


"Believe in Me."  


I trust those words.....

8 comments:

Aphra said...

I think I needed to hear this today.
I linked to this post in my blog
http://mystuffing.blogspot.com/2010/05/one.html
I hope that's ok- if not let me know and I will fix it.

awareness said...

Aphra... I'm glad you gleaned something out of this rambling post and I'm delighted that you have linked it on your blog. thank you.

Brother David said...

I love the way you talk about the BIG Emotional questions; it reflects so well.
Nice to see the blossom too.

Mavis said...

Dana
Love you, just sayin

awareness said...

David... thank you. The big emotional questions are the ones driving me these days.....entertaining my thinking, floating up from the big "why" questions. The writing helps me harness them enough to have a looksee at the deeply felt hurts that accompany the shocking changes occuring in my life. I don't want to avoid them, because they will only become more unruly and eventually I would like to be able to say that they have softened. Some have. Some have softened as I reflect on my relationship with God as well as on the meaningful relationships and connections with the humans in my life, including dear friends like you whom I've met through blogging and sharing our writing.
This particular post was generated initially with the question..... When I say I believe in God, what do I mean by that. It kind of evolved in a whole different direction. I still don't yet know what I mean (or what anyone means for that matter) when they say they believe in God. Any insight or direction....any thoughts on this from you would be warmly received.
ps. I will be in touch.

awareness said...

Mavis.... What a beautiful burst of light you are! love you too! May your week be filled (as always) with making all of those important connections with our most vulnerable you do so beautifully.
See you in front of the melons real soon! :)

theMuddledMarketPlace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
theMuddledMarketPlace said...

lovely how
next time we smell a lilac
we'll all think of this