Subversion 101

"Men in authority will always think that
criticism of their policies is dangerous.
They will always equate their policies
with patriotism, and find criticism subversive."
Henry Steele.

A good friend of mine who has known me for many years called me a subversive shit disturber a couple of years ago. When she blurted out this label during a conversation we were having about our perspective careers and our desire to seek out new challenges and all the actions we had taken to make it happen, I was taken aback by the remark. For about 10 seconds......... .........because she was right! I am a subversive shit disturber (even when I'm ALL ALONE) by nature. I just had never thought of those words to describe me before.

Busted!!! And may I say..................busted by a very good subversive shit disturber in her own right.

Heres why I think she's right:

I suck at following rules.
I follow my own beat.
I don't like joining groups, I'd rather be leading one.
Lemmings scare me.
I would never put up with someone else signing me up for some volunteer task or making a decision on my behalf if I hadn't had a huge say in it.
I am not one to be directed or micromanaged. You might as well put a gun to my head cause that's how I feel when someone is breathing over my shoulder.
I can sniff out manipulation and phoniness in one whiff.
If I see a wrong, I can spend many brain waves trying to figure out a way to make it right even if action goes against the norm.
I can be a pitbull with a chew toy if I am motivated to sort out something.
Challenge my brain and I'm there my friend.
If you find me in a room with a big box, I will be standing on the outside of it.
Offer me an underdog issue, and I'm eating steak tonight!

Mark Twain, master of subversive humour as a means to encourage shifts in perspectives and perceptions, lived by his motto: "Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.........."

Right on!!

It's not a fully concious act on my part to veer towards an issue or the "minority," when it first is introduced to me. In fact, most often I'm up to my hip-waders in some issue before I realize that my actions constitute subversion.............it's honestly how my brain works.......... I hear or read about an underdoggish issue and before I know it, my thoughts have taken me down a problem solving road less travelled. Put a bunch of rules on a plate in front of me that are directly and negatively affecting a person in need and I'm trying to figure out how I can quietly slip the rules under the table.

And you know what? This stuff follows me around. I often wonder if I go looking for it, or if it finds me. If my day isn't busy, I will go looking for it, which isn't a good thing and is often when I get in hot water. But, it seems to me that it finds me too. Many a time I have been acting in a supervisory role at work for example and a whole slew of "exceptionalities" to the rules slide onto my desk and I think....how did these not so straightforward situations arise specifically on the day that I seem to be in charge? It's uncanny really. I'm like a kid in a candy shop and have to be very careful which issues to "take on," and which rules to abide by through a quick risk assessment of the situation.

So......is this a good thing or a bad thing? It can easily be perceived as manipulative or threatening, especially when dealing with people and working in a system, especially by authority who have made the policies. It definately can be frustrating for a creative subversive, but I think if utilized wisely, one can rock some sense and sensibilities by helping to alter policy, to positively impact other's perceptions........to force change when it is really needed. It can also help build a relationship with a person in need, when I tell them I'm on their side and I'll try to go to bat for them. No guarantees, but I'll try.................

The bad part? Some perceive me as a threat, which doesn't help my upward mobility. I'm basically shooting myself in the foot. Sometimes I get nosing into territory I should'nt be concerned about but my curiosity gets the best of me.

I'm glad my friend and fellow subversive shit disturber pointed this out to me. This insight of how I am perceived, and how I project myself has allowed me to evaluate my approach and interactions with others.........making me feel either pride or shame.......pride when I was able to use it in a way that helps, or shame when I look at the times when I didn't approach a situation or deal with "authority" respectfully. It is both a strength and a weakness, that's for sure. I just have to continue to remain more cognizant of my "subversive" button is pushed and for what reasons..................