"He had compassion"

Is compassion a feeling or a behaviour? When we say we are feeling compassion, are we not describing deeply felt empathy and love which in turn propels us to act compassionately? Maybe there are more ingredients involved that hold the power to open up the heart to act compassionately. I want to know what all the ingredients are.

The Good Samaritan "had compassion." He responded to the wounded person on the side of the road by dressing his wounds, carrying him to an inn and paying the innkeeper to care for him. He saw another person in distress. With no hesitation, he showed compassion and mercy to a stranger. His behaviour was stirred with love felt care.

Compassion is the great equalizer. Genuine love and empathy erase the judgement which may affect how we act compassionately towards someone in need. It sometimes suspends the fear we may have of a situation.......or our quick self assessments we tend to fall into, of whether or not we are capable of helping or whether or not we want to.......... heartfelt love and empathy propel us forward without judgement, without fear of failing, without second guessing the act of compassion. Sometimes its such a split second action we don't even have time to think about it until afterwards.

Often when you read a story in the news about a person who rescues someone after an accident or from a fire, the rescuer begins their description of the scenario with a revelation similar to............ "I didn't even think about it. I just did it...........I knew they needed my help, so I jumped in..........."

I often wonder if I would jump in without hesitating....... could I suspend my own fears for the sake of another if I was to come upon an accident? I don't know. I've never been tested that way. I hope I would be able to. These are the stories which grab the headlines in our newspapers......the heroic acts that go beyond our daily lives which hold our attention, which are held up as examples of "good samaritanism." Wonderful uplifting stories we tell our children............... but I believe we also need to remember that most acts of compassion are not filed as a news story. Most acts of compassion are shown only between the two people involved in the interaction during the course of a regular day.

Passing flickers, but deeply felt by the people involved.

This parable has been in my thoughts all week as I prepare to return to work. It has been fed by many short but revealing discussions I have had with my children particularly my 13 year old daughter who I swear was born with insight and compassion for others.............once her 2nd grade teacher told me that Martha was her second set of eyes in the classroom. If the teacher was busy and there was a child upset or in need, she would see Martha quietly go over to her classmate......sometimes just sitting with them until the teacher could attend to the issue. She has always been hyper-sensitive to other's needs. This autumn, she organized a couple of fund raisers at her school to raise money for the local community kitchen. Altogether, the group made close to $500.00. This story actually made the local newspaper, quoting Martha stating, "Volunteering in the community makes you feel good about yourself while you are helping others."

Then, she convinced 3 of her friends to bake goodies to sell at lunch to raise money for World Vision. They made enough to "purchase" three fruit trees. When I asked her why she chose the three tress and not an animal of some kind........her response was......
"The trees will grow and provide food for a longer period of time for the families." Good logic. Compassionate heart blossoming................... and it makes me very proud of her.

As parents, my husband and I have fed our children stories about helping others, and we try to model this as community members. My husband volunteers at the community kitchen, so the kids know more about the place than others. I often will tell them about a person whom I had met that day and a little bit about their struggles. They too bring stories home from their school days which feed the discussions...............ranging from what makes someone become a bully to keeping an eye out for the ones who are bullied. This feeds the lesson...............but I do believe that the desire for more insight into people is an inherent thing too.

Can you teach the act of compassion? You can feed it.................you can offer up food for thought but like any training.............you can't make anyone eat if they aren't openly hungry for it. Teachable moments...........opportunities to share outside of a formal learning environment.....modelling the behaviour so a person can SEE it in action.............all contribute.

One of my challenging tasks this year will be to develop training for the frontline workers who deal in the area of public housing..................maintenance guys, housing placement staff, landlords.......all of whom have never been involved in this type of training.........some of whom have years and years of work experience in the field which is wonderful to draw from as a facilitator, but is a HUGE barrier to overcome. Judgement, reinforced beliefs, opinions about the clientele have built up big walls between the frontline person and the client. Oh, then there's the picture they have of me...................yeah............BELIEVE it or not, but some slap the "bleeding heart" label on my back and consider me a flighty flakey do-gooder. Yeah...........I've heard it all before............the labels don't bother me.

So.........my conversations with my family.........my conversations with my daughter have helped me dissect the act of compassion in order to be able to see it as a behaviour.......in order to understand a little better the feelings behind the action........all beneficial learning. So will developing and then facilitating the training to a group.........with many dynamics and many challenges.

It's what I love to do!!!

Can compassion be taught? Is it possible to provide training which can alter the manner with which a person treats another...............we'll see............................... My first task next week is to arrange to meet with a variety of these frontliners one on one to learn their perspectives, to get a flavour of their personalities and to begin to dispel the flakey label by sharing different parts of where I come from..............and what I can offer.................oh, and possibly plant some seeds by telling a few stories of the people I have met along the way...................

Gee...................I'm starting to look forward to returning to work.............. :) Doubts are fading!