Ever wake up early in the morning in a bad mood? It seems to come out of nowhere, this black cloud of negative ions that sucks the fresh air right out of your system? No warning.........and seemingly no clear cause for it? Well, there's always a cause for it if you want to take the energy and time to recognize and admit it.
Today, Mr. Funk came to visit, armed with pissy mood tactics and impulsive intrusive thoughts. No light fluffy flowery junk e-mails with music box noise playing in the background was going penetrate the Funkmeister...........uh, uh. Nope. Not even the early morning work talk about Reality TV shows was going to dissuade the doom. A hot cup of tea?.........nope............ upbeat favourite comfort music? ........ irritating ............. a really sad story from a client that normally puts one's minor issues in perspective, right? ......... well I felt badly for her, and used most of my professional energy to help her get back on track, but when she left my office .......... funkified again.
Yeah, it was just one of those days that included a combination of the discriminatory effects of the "Pre" curse, (which BTW is a dangerous Perimenopausal state of mind that no one warned me about in health class 30 years ago) and feeling stuck, wondering where the heck my life is headed.
A year ago, I had my last hurrah at a job interview. It was for a brand new position with the City and one that I was so excited about.......... a bit of Public relations; interaction with community groups, liasing with local and provincial governments, and working on the issues that are affecting this city ......... stuff that interests me. More importantly, it was a brand new career field, where I could use my skills but in a different manner. I had been approached about the job, which is always a good sign. So, I began to plan my approach to applying by meeting with various people whom I knew would support me etc............ yeah, I played the political network game, and lined up all my ducks. The job was mine to lose.
Armed with new research, knowledge about the plan for the position, and excellent references, I entered the interview room and promptly blew it. Didn't really see it at the time. In fact, I left the interview after enthusiastically spouting off my ideas, thoughts and potential plans, with an uplifting feeling that I had nailed it. I even breezed up to my Great White Director, bouncing of the walls with excitement (he's used to it) and expressed my glee. I went to bed that night with glowing thoughts of a new challenge, a better salary, and freedom to pursue my ideas. And, when I awoke........................I was struck with a deeply felt rush of crimson red embarrassment. Reality spoke to me and it was ugly, ugly!
Ever had that feeling? You act one way and think it's fine (or say or write something outrageous and think it's fine) and then when you have time to digest your actions, you realize that you've been a complete over the top fool? This is the curse of an extravert!!! This is also the curse of the pre-curse. I had blown them away with my unfiltered enthusiasm. I scared the pants off those interviewers by coming across as a loose cannon...............with no linearity.
OK..................long story leading up to today. When I woke this morning, I realized another year has come and gone and I'm still in my old job, which for the most part, I enjoy...............but I don't find challenging anymore. Reality smacked me in the ass and across the face and hit me in the gut. Stuck, rutted, gutted................funk.
So, how do I debunk this funk? Well, I will wait a couple more days and get over this wretched PMS..........that always lifts the gloomy clouds in my head...................and I will refocus. In the meantime, I bought some tanning sessions for the first time ever and had a good laugh lying naked on a tanning bed desparately trying not to succumb to claustrophobia. That debunked my funk and cleared my head enough to restart my writing.
Tomorrow is another day..................and I will awake to bluer skies.
Today, Mr. Funk came to visit, armed with pissy mood tactics and impulsive intrusive thoughts. No light fluffy flowery junk e-mails with music box noise playing in the background was going penetrate the Funkmeister...........uh, uh. Nope. Not even the early morning work talk about Reality TV shows was going to dissuade the doom. A hot cup of tea?.........nope............ upbeat favourite comfort music? ........ irritating ............. a really sad story from a client that normally puts one's minor issues in perspective, right? ......... well I felt badly for her, and used most of my professional energy to help her get back on track, but when she left my office .......... funkified again.
Yeah, it was just one of those days that included a combination of the discriminatory effects of the "Pre" curse, (which BTW is a dangerous Perimenopausal state of mind that no one warned me about in health class 30 years ago) and feeling stuck, wondering where the heck my life is headed.
A year ago, I had my last hurrah at a job interview. It was for a brand new position with the City and one that I was so excited about.......... a bit of Public relations; interaction with community groups, liasing with local and provincial governments, and working on the issues that are affecting this city ......... stuff that interests me. More importantly, it was a brand new career field, where I could use my skills but in a different manner. I had been approached about the job, which is always a good sign. So, I began to plan my approach to applying by meeting with various people whom I knew would support me etc............ yeah, I played the political network game, and lined up all my ducks. The job was mine to lose.
Armed with new research, knowledge about the plan for the position, and excellent references, I entered the interview room and promptly blew it. Didn't really see it at the time. In fact, I left the interview after enthusiastically spouting off my ideas, thoughts and potential plans, with an uplifting feeling that I had nailed it. I even breezed up to my Great White Director, bouncing of the walls with excitement (he's used to it) and expressed my glee. I went to bed that night with glowing thoughts of a new challenge, a better salary, and freedom to pursue my ideas. And, when I awoke........................I was struck with a deeply felt rush of crimson red embarrassment. Reality spoke to me and it was ugly, ugly!
Ever had that feeling? You act one way and think it's fine (or say or write something outrageous and think it's fine) and then when you have time to digest your actions, you realize that you've been a complete over the top fool? This is the curse of an extravert!!! This is also the curse of the pre-curse. I had blown them away with my unfiltered enthusiasm. I scared the pants off those interviewers by coming across as a loose cannon...............with no linearity.
OK..................long story leading up to today. When I woke this morning, I realized another year has come and gone and I'm still in my old job, which for the most part, I enjoy...............but I don't find challenging anymore. Reality smacked me in the ass and across the face and hit me in the gut. Stuck, rutted, gutted................funk.
So, how do I debunk this funk? Well, I will wait a couple more days and get over this wretched PMS..........that always lifts the gloomy clouds in my head...................and I will refocus. In the meantime, I bought some tanning sessions for the first time ever and had a good laugh lying naked on a tanning bed desparately trying not to succumb to claustrophobia. That debunked my funk and cleared my head enough to restart my writing.
Tomorrow is another day..................and I will awake to bluer skies.
1 comment:
Yep! know exactly what you mean. My de-funking usually include a trip to the fabric store or time alone working on somesort of creative project. How weird is this, I to am at a point in my job that I'm bored .... I've learned as much as I can and now my brain is on cruize control & I just go through the motions. I've applied for two inter-company job postings. One job going back to an accounting position .... more money but I've done it all before. Other position, completely different position, but I have great skills ... it would be a challenge. Going in for some interviews soon & I hope I don't scare them off.
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