Tuesday, September 27, 2005

A New Day

Gee..............I finally figured how to access this blog place and I have writer's block!! Figures. Where to start..............hmmmmmm................

My slow re-awakening began almost a year ago when I found myself enrolled in a train- the- trainer program for a course on Prior Learning Assessment and Recognition. The purpose was to develop a portfolio that highlighted personal and career related achievements. It was a "duty" course for work, and since I'm not one to be forced into anything or to jump on the trend bandwagon, I was a reluctant non-believer in the whole process. What was the point, I kept thinking? But, as the course drew nearer and I had given my word that I would attend, I decided to be open to the individual assignments and group discussions. In hindsight, I'm so glad I did.
I started gathering memorabilia for my portfolio, determined to create one that reflected both my personal and career paths. A little light came on. A flickering light..........as I began to look back on my achievements so far, on the important people who helped shape who I am, and on the events that were touchstones in my life. Before I knew it, I was rummaging through basement boxes that had accumulated and travelled with me. The glimpses sparked memories; letters, photos, certificates, ribbons, music, ticket stubs--they all held clues to who I am.
Slowly, I began writing again. At first it was dutiful. Eventually it was for personal pleasure, remembrance, and learning. And what did I learn? I had allowed my individuality to be engulfed by a myriad of roles and titles, all of which I embrace, but should never have replaced the nucleus that is me.
As the course drew to a close, my portfolio had transformed into a treasured memento. I had filled it with stories I had written, songs/lyrics that I liked, prized photos I had taken, letters and comendations I had received as well as cards and documents related to my career, all organized in one binder.....colourful, wordy, creative, unique, and unfinished. Just like me.

As winter evolved into summer, hibernation lifted. The sunlight started seeping in.

In June, a bright light bounded into my office, introduced himself, and then left me blinded for a moment because of the glare. Since then, the light has remained , and my eyesight adjusted. I finally fully woke up from a couple of years of going through the tired motions of life and work and not taking the time to fully appreciate what I have and what I want. This luminescent leprechaun who shares stories, emotions, knowledge, crazy quirky opinions, and little emeralds of insight, woke me up and welcomed me back to the world of the non-slumbering. Since then, I have returned to writing, thinking, creating, wondering and planning..........I am once again full of awareness and will continue to push my limits, question my thinking, seek out answers.

Predestined? I believe so. Ready for it? Bring it on!

So, who am I? First and foremost, I am a lunatic, just like everyone else in this crazy complicated world. I tend to see things through absurdist eyes. I believe in fate, destiny, original ideas, optimism, hope, innocence, willfulness, honesty, goodness, love and freedom. And as I continue to search for clearer understanding and acceptance of my faith, I will venture forward with my eyes, ears and heart wide open. I will use this writing space to express my discoveries, to share my opinions, to sort out my views, to rant about injustice, and to write to learn.

*The moment you stop caring about the things that matter is the moment you stop living with your eyes wide open.*

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