Isnt it funny how the most mundane tasks in life come packaged with instructions.....a guide to follow and refer to, and yet the most important things in life have no such thing? The self-help industry tries its very best to compensate, but most books, videos, and yappity CD's you can shove into the system in your car, miss the mark. Sure, they are full of sagely advice, information and deep thoughts, but they dont help with the biggies. They are promoted as the "answer to all your questions...." as "the key to your solutions......." as "the secret to success........" as "everything you needed to know........." so you think they would help with the biggies. But in reality, they don't. Neither does Oprah. Neither does Dr. Phil. Neither do any of the other high-falootin' Steven Covey/Tony Robbins types.
Lots of direction..........maps for life, mentors who guide, big brothers to teach, consultants who confuse, preachers who baffle.........life coaches who do what??? But when it comes down to the game of life, what do you REALLY get out from a guide of some kind besides confusion?We have become co-dependents to the gurus out there who are making fast cash on our collective lack of self-confidence. And quite frankly, I dont know what came first, the people with the golden eggs of insight, or our inability to figure things out for ourselves. Did this self-help industry chip and strip away at our delicate balances by providing advice and marketing in a way that has made us second guess our own common sense or are we more messed up than previous generations? What did the folks before us rely on to figure it out? THEMSELVES! Don't you find it really strange that the people who have forked out the most moooo-laaaa to purchase the next best answer to their problems are still the most messed in the head?
It begs the question...........Will there ever be a guide to help us overcome our addictions to these self help navel gazing enforcers? Do we really need so much guidance? Whatever happened to simply getting on with it.............living our lives and learning from our mistakes (cause its ok to make mistakes.......perfection is a misguided concept.) and moving on?
Life is complicated because we human beings make it so. Personal growth, learning, loving and interacting is the most difficult tasks we can take on. I guess I am thinking tonight that perhaps we need to learn how to rely on ourselves to make decisions, to think things through, to reflect and pray and reflect some more and most importantly to learn how to love and how to connect with others. And the only way to learn how to do these things is to listen to our hearts.
The answers to the biggies are nestled in our hearts. If we are open to seek out the moments of feeling vulnerable when we are alone and when we are with another person........if we are open to expressing our truth as well as open to hearing it from someone else...........if we are open to understanding that life is a struggle of adding to our personal awareness, then a guide isn't necessary. A set of internal ears, which we all own no matter how closed minded we are, is all that is needed. We are our own guides. We just have to find the lost collective confidence by turning off the TV, by ignoring the yappity CD's, by turning off the talk show "you should do it this way" people and go with your heart.
The heart never lies...........it is there as our eternally internal, guide. And if we did this, think of the extra cash you'd have on hand to buy a bottle of wine and share it with a friend? Yes, a bottle of wine, some good music, a comfy spot in front of the fireplace.........no time constraints..........sounds therapeutic to me. It's too bad we're so busy striving for perfection that we miss out completely that we have the answers within hearts reach.
Sunday scribblings prompt this week is "guides." for more scribblings..check out this site.
12 comments:
Must be using a hammer mate!
Hit the nail on the head!
our hearts don't lie, but they don't always give us the easy option we would like (I would say rarely).
The heart is a hard task master at times, so we search for something wrapped in pretty packaging that looks to give us an easier way forward.
Our hearts offer us the most rewards though.
An excellent essay there. I've often thought that if we indulged in self-help, why do we need a book to help us?
steve.....hammer in hand, yes. am trying to learn from a well known carpenter just how to use it.
Katie...i agree with you......they don't lie. and i guess we just need to accept the fact that life isn't meant to be easy. it's meant to be lived fully....and by so doing, we find our own strength.
Tony.....i agree. But, if I was to write one of those books....I will entitle it......Paddle Your Own Canoe....gotta build it first.
A beautiful range of thoughts. I love to follow the instincts of my heart, but sometimes my mind likes to get some input.
Greyscale.....me too. :) Kind of like how I use recipe books....I look for new ideas and then try to incorporate the ones that seem to fit with my heart.
I actually just returned from a morning spent with 13 year old girls facilitating an "empowerment" session......my message.......Who I am makes a difference. I planted some seeds.
I am a guide at times.....:) but find that our society has forgotten to rely on our own strengths.....
Yes. The self help industry gives us false expectations that by following a few simple rules or steps we will have eternal bliss. I've come to the conclusion that all they do is muddy the water and confuse the issues. One says 'let go', the other says 'act as if' - how can you do both simultaneously? Which is the correct approach anyway? As you say, the only way is to learn to trust your own heart, higher self, intuition - whatever you choose to call it. That is the only way to find the answers. Thank you for a thoughtful post - it resonated strongly with me.
your references to being open and understanding are right on - being and staying connected is sometimes difficult, but has an intrinsic reward --- great post
When I felt like this in the Open Grove, I knew it was time to take a break. Yes, there is a lot of wisdom out there - but it comes down to that Mulder question (you know from the Xfiles?)
He believed, like most baby boomers, that the truth was "out there". I think that's what lead to guru worship.
Sad too - as a therapist, I really want to help people find their soul, their hearts and reach their dreams. I failed so many times because I refused to be the guru. Very sad.
Zenuria....welcome. Though I peruse them from time to time and have picked up a couple that have been very helpful in feeding my own awareness, I rely mostly on my intuition too......and my common sense when it comes to reading something that sounds like THE answer by doing five simple steps.....knowing full well that all good things take time and effort....gotta just DO it!
Claudia....there truly is a fine line.....helping and guru-ing....i think we get into the field because of the desire to make things better....to take it all on. We have our own agenda and our own timelines....it's tough to be patient with the process sometimes....personally, i don't have much patience.....but have learned that there is no point in taking on someone elses stuff when that isn't going to help in the long run and it only leads to burnout.....
YES:
"The answers to the biggies are nestled in our hearts. If we are open to seek out the moments of feeling vulnerable when we are alone and when we are with another person."
I whole heartedly agree.
Wonderful inspiration.
Amen, Dana, amen! And beautiful photo to accompany your wise words.
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