"Through fear of knowing who we really are and what we want, we sidestep our own resting which leaves us hungry in a famine of our own making."
John O'Donahue
I never want to be left in the famine if I can help it. I look around and think about people whom I have known who knew better..........who knew it was up to them to feed their own destiny and yet couldn't or wouldn't grab hold of the glorious ride of life. Instead, they lurked on the sidelines watched it all march by.....watched their life slide by like it was a game being played by someone else.
I don't want that. Their sad examples push me onto the playing field to be in the middle of the game. I may be scared out of my mind sometimes. I may feel like I don't have the proper equipment or the right gameplan to execute life with the panache and grace of the award winning star quarterback. But I really really want to try. And after the scrimmaging.....the action on the field, let me be brave enough to sit quietly in the bleachers and think about how the game is unfolding every once in a while.
There's no point in playing the game without reflecting on the progress of it.....to consider what's working, what's not and what has left a bruise or two......to recognize who else is on the field with you...... There's no such thing as a "do-over" but there is such a thing as learning from a passing, moving interactive moment. Our lives are in constant motion. Our lives are accompanied by a rhythm and a beat which sometimes harmonizes with others, and sometimes reveals to us and others a new personal timbre. It only becomes significantly apparent if we find the courage to quietly listen to it every once in a while. Awareness is fed by the cycle of the doing and the reflecting.
I never want to be left in the famine if I can help it. I look around and think about people whom I have known who knew better..........who knew it was up to them to feed their own destiny and yet couldn't or wouldn't grab hold of the glorious ride of life. Instead, they lurked on the sidelines watched it all march by.....watched their life slide by like it was a game being played by someone else.
I don't want that. Their sad examples push me onto the playing field to be in the middle of the game. I may be scared out of my mind sometimes. I may feel like I don't have the proper equipment or the right gameplan to execute life with the panache and grace of the award winning star quarterback. But I really really want to try. And after the scrimmaging.....the action on the field, let me be brave enough to sit quietly in the bleachers and think about how the game is unfolding every once in a while.
There's no point in playing the game without reflecting on the progress of it.....to consider what's working, what's not and what has left a bruise or two......to recognize who else is on the field with you...... There's no such thing as a "do-over" but there is such a thing as learning from a passing, moving interactive moment. Our lives are in constant motion. Our lives are accompanied by a rhythm and a beat which sometimes harmonizes with others, and sometimes reveals to us and others a new personal timbre. It only becomes significantly apparent if we find the courage to quietly listen to it every once in a while. Awareness is fed by the cycle of the doing and the reflecting.
Is one more scary than the other?
We need to be right in the middle of the game, but we also need to seek refuge in the solitary contemplation along the sidelines. Too much of one leads to an imbalance between famine and feast. If we're on the sidelines too much, we may miss a couple of plays on the field we couldn've assumed a role in. If we're in the middle of the scrimmage too much, we can't see the big picture buffet. The key is to figure out our own personal fulcrum so at the end of a day, we don't find ourselves wishing for a do-over.
I guess the best we can do is to try.....and every now and then we will be the one holding the football and crossing into the endzone victoriously. I want to be one of those who does the happy dance in the endzone.
Will you join me in the happy dance?
4 comments:
Excellent post! I am on the sidelines too much and I know its my own fears that keep me there. I hope I can do the happy dance with you one of these days...trying to get out of the bleachers and back onto the field but I am weak.
As one who always rushes right in - and never stands on the sidelines, unless contemplating my next move - I can strongly identify with your words. Sorry I've been so busy with travel and deadlines that I've been remiss in blog visits. Thank you for all your lovely comments in my absence. So good to read your beautiful writing again. xo
It is about grabbing hold, running with it and seeing where it goes isn't it...with sustenance at intervals on the way :)
fear stops us from doing so much in life...
Layla...."feed" yourself good things while in the bleachers.....and I know you're doing that....
It can be a place of retreat, and I think sometimes if we stay too long there, we lose our nerve to move onto the playing field. I felt that way a couple of years ago, when I was home for a whole summer. Though I needed it, I also began to felt that I didn't have the strength to return to the field.....sometimes it means just stepping over that white sideline to shake hands with another player. :)
Tara....GOOD to see you back....and have loved reading your posts, both the political ones and the family ones. Thank you for all the comments you have left today.....very much appreciated.
Katie....Fear really is a killer of joy, I agree. The only way to overcome it is through self talk and sometimes surrounding yourself with companions who are willing to carry you a part of the way until you can get your feet back on the playing field.
I also believe it's important, as I noted in my post here to observe others.....
John O'Donahue said it so eloquently in his story about the dying man he had the privilege of being with during this man's last moments......When Father O'Donahue asked him about his life....if he had any regrets, the dying man shook his head and told him that he SQUEEZED everything out of his life.
I want that feeling......
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