Saturday, April 28, 2012

the times they are a changin'

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Bob Dylan......

I keep waiting for the words to fly like they used to.  But every time I think I've got a handle on it, the times they are a changin'.....  It's like an amusement ride stuck on GO.  The story I want to write, I continue to live it.  Everytime I think I've got a conclusion to the present moment story, a new angle appears. 

Tonight, the feeling is different.  Though I've lost my wordsmith polish, I don't want that to deter me any longer.  Or the sense of readiness to share.  Writing is therapy.  It once felt like breathing to me, but somewhere along the line, the integration between life inside and out evaporated.  I lose focus so quickly.......... it's time to push through that and let whatever it is inside me to come out onto a blank canvas.......

I am well.  Thank you, thank you for all of your good wishes and thoughts.  I am well.  I felt your presence throughout.  I really did. 

Though life seems to want to push me closer to the edge of insanity, my faith and the people in my life continue to wrap their arms around me.  I am living my story I guess and I can't seem to put it down in any form of logic or fantasy.  It's the only reasonable rationale I have.   

Physically, I am healed.  All the test have come back with no surprises.  Emotionally, I am healing.  As much as I want this to be at the same place I am physically, it is lagging behind.  Too many other incidents keep rocking my world.  But, I truly believe time will resolve some of them.  Goodness prevails.  If you dare to be open to dealing with the wounds, goodness prevails. 

The experiences I have encountered through the mirage of the health care system, the vignettes stored in my brain for future sharing, the lessons I've been blasted with, the crappy TV shows I've become addicted to, The Re-emergence post radiation and burns, post two breast surgeries and THEN post appendix surgery........( YES I had my appendix out too!!!  First day back to work and by morning coffee break, I'm feeling the pain in my gut!!!)  the special times with so many special people who drove me to and from radiation, who dropped off food, who stayed with me in my home overnight while I healed......... phenomenal.  I am blessed.  I am blessed.  The conversations have been enlightening, thought provoking, helpful........ I am overwhelmed by a litany of voices.  I can't settle enough to write.  I can't settle enough to read anything more than a few pages.  Frig, I can't settle enough to get the laundry done!  OK, it's done.  It's just not all folded yet!

I keep floating............. events keep happening............. I want it to stop at a place called peace where prayer and stillness settle into my bones.  But, for some unknown Godly reason, it is not meant to be.  

You know what I've learned?  Real strength generates from the soul.  Real strength emerges through the salty wounds of adversity.  It looks like the face of a vulnerable puppy caught in the rain.  A Beagle puppy.  But, it responds in a manner that can only be described as intrinsically God sent through the hearts of friends and family.  

I am well.  I am strong.  The times may be a changin'......... and that's alright with me.  

Stories to follow................ 


mmp said...

so glad to hear this

carmilevy said...

You haven't lost your wordsmith polish. If anything, it's evolved to a new plane. That's kinda what life does: It changes us, and changes our voice in the process. But that voice - indeed, your voice - is always there.

Jim in NB said...

Hi Dana. Well I wish I had known what you have been going thru but am sure glad to see you are coming out the other side and like Carmi says you have evolved to a new plane, not just in your writing but also you thinking, life is grand eh and will always continue to evolve. Hope you are smiling tonite

Unknown said...


My name is Leigh. Your exceptional blog deals with your writing and I just love the way you weave words. There is a bit of depression awareness thrown in there and I know you are familiar with the importance of mental health. It is for these reasons that I contact you today.

I am ‘every woman’, the girl next door and the one you never would have suspected, however, for years I have been struggling with depression. I have written a book about my experiences entitled “The Blue Veil”.

Through this book, it is my aim to reduce the stigma of depression by increasing awareness of the issue. I am donating a large percentage of the proceeds to 15 carefully chosen mental health awareness organizations worldwide. I have provided the list of these organizations at the end of this email.

This is where you come in. I am organizing a 2 month long online book release campaign, structured around various depression awareness weeks around the world. It will be from July 1st to August 31st. My request is, during this period of time would you be willing to host me on your blog for a few days of those months? This can be carried out in a few ways:
-I would send you a couple/few articles that talk about my book and of course depression awareness. You would post these articles on your blog over a few days during those months (letting me know which days you will choose)
-You could write your own prose about “The Blue Veil” and depression awareness and post these articles on your blog over the course of the months (letting me know which days you will choose).
Now you may be wondering what is in this for you and your blog? Well, I could provide you with a free version of “The Blue Veil”. You could also review the depression awareness organizations, which I will send to you, to see if there is one you would like to be included and I will certainly look into it.

More on “The Blue Veil”:
Up to 58 MILLION suffer from it in the US alone, and VERY FEW talk about it. Is it your friend, colleague or neighbor? Now, finally, ‘The Blue Veil’ brings a modern, raw account of depression. Read it and understand your loved ones better. Be assured that no one is alone.

``Leigh has everything going for her when the unthinkable happens. She loses control of her own emotions and everything in her life begins to slip away. With a marriage strained to the brink, the loss of her father, fertility issues and the loss of her job, will Leigh be able to move beyond The Blue Veil and take back control of her future?``

Thanks so much for your consideration and efforts. I understand that you are busy, so I wanted to express my sincere gratitude. It is with great respect for you and your blog that I write this email and it would mean so much to me to have your readers aware of my efforts.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time if you have any questions regarding my request.
Sincerely yours,
Leigh Turgeon
Twitter: @leighslead
The Blue Veil Blog
FB Page The Blue Veil
FB Page Leigh Turgeon

Anonymous said...

This is great to hear. So glad you could feel everyone's positive thoughts and prayers. I am really pleaaed to know this...