Filming has begun on a remake and redo of the infamous WWII movie, The Great Escape. Instead of a Stalag POW camp filled with a variety of nationalities who had banded together to fight off the Nazi's and Colonel Klink............ the script writers have decided to film it in real time under present day circumstances.
While planning the shoot to be held in Afghanistan, it was quickly decided to turn sights on the Middle East. Word was out that a bombing raid was about to take place between Israel and Lebanon, with a bunch of other hot-headed countries looking on.
Quickly, the Producers started their search to find the right person to play the baseball throwing Captain Hilts, aka as "The Cooler King." But, they didn't have to look far. For there on the horizon, just below the Peace Tower was the perfect match........Canadian Prime Minister Steve Harper. Calm, cool and collected, Steve was the unassuming unanimous choice. It was decided that there would be no tunnelling, since they needed to get the people out of Lebanon by boat and then plane.
Arrangements were made to fly the new Cooler King and his motorcycle driving wife Laureen to Cyprus with their government plane to whisk a bunch of harried Lebanese Canadians home to safety. Harper got word of the exciting opportunity while attending the Rat Pack G8 Summit where a bevy of colleagues clamored for the chance to play the other roles in the movie......... or at least have a walk on part. And since their own countries were arranging for an evacuation via boat and plane, it only made sense to the Producers to include them as well...........
So, co-starring in the remake will be Dubya from the US of A replacing Charles Bronson, Tony from the UK taking on the Richard Attenborough role .................. Jack from France, Vlad the Impaler from Russia, and Angie from Deustchland will also have cameos.
Naturally, it's been a harried shoot, given the time constraints and the need to film while the evacuation is in progress. Word has reached this intrepid journalist that 63 lucky Lebanese individuals made it to the tarmac, boarded the Cooler King's plane and have now taken off to greener pastures.
We'll have to wait to see the "dailies" to assess the credibility of this remake and the quality of the dialogue, but word has leaked out that the actors playing the role of the evacuees are whinging and whining about the amount of time it took for the Canadian government to organize their free trip home.
The editors may have to tone it down a bit, but chances are the media back home in the true north strong and whiney will be more than happy to spin a negative spin on what in reality is the biggest evacuation exercise in Canadian history................all done within 9 days of the first bombing.
Though I'm not one to give away the end of a movie, I'm just too darn excited not too. Cameras are set up along the runway of the Ottawa airport for the touchdown of the evac plane, where Steve will hop on a motorcycle to take off for home. The twist? His wife will be driving. It's her Harley.
The movie should be out for the Christmas rush..........................let's hope the Cooler King gets some kudos..................or at least a new ballglove to work in for his efforts.
cue up the theme music........do do.........do do do do do........do do do do do do do do do!