Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Great Escape Remake, Starring Steve "McQueen" Harper

Filming has begun on a remake and redo of the infamous WWII movie, The Great Escape. Instead of a Stalag POW camp filled with a variety of nationalities who had banded together to fight off the Nazi's and Colonel Klink............ the script writers have decided to film it in real time under present day circumstances.

While planning the shoot to be held in Afghanistan, it was quickly decided to turn sights on the Middle East. Word was out that a bombing raid was about to take place between Israel and Lebanon, with a bunch of other hot-headed countries looking on.

Quickly, the Producers started their search to find the right person to play the baseball throwing Captain Hilts, aka as
"The Cooler King." But, they didn't have to look far. For there on the horizon, just below the Peace Tower was the perfect match........Canadian Prime Minister Steve Harper. Calm, cool and collected, Steve was the unassuming unanimous choice. It was decided that there would be no tunnelling, since they needed to get the people out of Lebanon by boat and then plane.

Arrangements were made to fly the new Cooler King and his motorcycle driving wife Laureen to Cyprus with their government plane to whisk a bunch of harried Lebanese Canadians home to safety.
Harper got word of the exciting opportunity while attending the Rat Pack G8 Summit where a bevy of colleagues clamored for the chance to play the other roles in the movie......... or at least have a walk on part. And since their own countries were arranging for an evacuation via boat and plane, it only made sense to the Producers to include them as well...........

So, co-starring in the remake will be Dubya from the US of A replacing Charles Bronson, Tony from the UK taking on the Richard Attenborough role .................. Jack from France, Vlad the Impaler from Russia, and Angie from Deustchland will also have cameos.

Naturally, it's been a harried shoot, given the time constraints and the need to film while the evacuation is in progress. Word has reached this intrepid journalist that 63 lucky Lebanese individuals made it to the tarmac, boarded the Cooler King's plane and have now taken off to greener pastures.

We'll have to wait to see the "dailies" to assess the credibility of this remake and the quality of the dialogue, but word has leaked out that the actors playing the role of the evacuees are whinging and whining about the amount of time it took for the Canadian government to organize their free trip home.

The editors may have to tone it down a bit, but chances are the media back home in the true north strong and whiney will be more than happy to spin a negative spin on what in reality is the biggest evacuation exercise in Canadian history................all done within 9 days of the first bombing.

Though I'm not one to give away the end of a movie, I'm just too darn excited not too. Cameras are set up along the runway of the Ottawa airport for the touchdown of the evac plane, where Steve will hop on a motorcycle to take off for home. The twist? His wife will be driving. It's her Harley.

The movie should be out for the Christmas rush..........................let's hope the Cooler King gets some kudos..................or at least a new ballglove to work in for his efforts.

cue up the theme do do do do do do do do do do do!


Sunny said...

This was priceless! I just finished reading an article in the Globe this morning about this little movie you are refering to. Nice little piece of PR work wasn't it?!!! Although I would like to refer to Mr. Harper more as the valiant knight of shinning armour who gallops out of the distance to assist the helpless abord his courageous white horse!!!
Now I have that Steve McQueen song in my head. Thanks...

Quilting Goddess said...

LMAO .... PR, yes but being a fellow Calgarian & perhaps knowing a bit more about Harper's personal side because of this... I do know that he is has strong moral values that I think was his motivating factor then just a PR stunt. Hopefully he doesn't corrupt his moral value for political gain. I do know Paul or Jean won't have done that. Damn, for a person who isn't a big Harper fan I sure do seem to siding with his actions of late!

awareness said...

hey sunny! thanks for the kudos. Good PR, and a good thing to do. It balances out, I think.
And the song thing........yup, it's been in my head since I thought about writing the post last night. I may have to go out and rent the original version again. Love that movie.

Hey Roaring Calgarian!'s funny about whole Harper thing. It wasn't so long ago that the very thought of he and his ilk getting close to power would give me cramps. Now......I'm defending the guy... You are so right that Jean and Paul would never have arranged that little mission.
It was a good move. And I do hope Laureen gave him a ride home on her Harley.
Can't you see her waving good bye to the kiddies and the PM hubby in the morning, feeding all the cats she has saved, donning her black leathers and taking off for a spin through the Gatineaus? That woman has spunk.

Ellen said...

Very nicely done, sweetie. You certainly have the gift of being a wordsmith. This post makes me want to go out and rent the movie too. I'll pop the corn, you bring the drinks!

Have a wonderful weekend!

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Truly priceless!

I loved Steve MCQueen, and who can ever forget that song!

Have a good week.

Canadian Sentinel said...

Yo, Madame Awareness... *sigh*... you have called Stephen "Steve", so I'm afraid you'll soon be receiving a scolding, admonishing letter from the Prime Minister's mommy demanding that henceforth ye shall refer to the Great Man as "Stephen". Don't worry, Stephen's mommy is a very nice little lady, I'm certain... but perhaps a tad too overprotective...

As for the other Steve, he of "Bullit" fame, didy'all know his son is the spittin' image of his daddy? Oh, yeah... and, in fact, I saw him in Motor Trend Classic cars magazine, driving his daddy's old, what was it, a Ferrari?

I wonder how come the son isn't following in the daddy's footsteps and doing cool car movies today? It'd be perfect, for the ponycar wars are about to become white-hot all over again: We have the 'stang, which will soon be followed by a whole new Camaro and likely a new Challenger. The Camaro will again sport a Corvette engine while the Challenger would include a Hemi option.

BTW, I see Stephen growing on a lot of folks who at first felt quite shy, as they apparently believed the scare campaign of those who don't understand...

And, Awareness, didya see the headline in the Telegraph this AM declaring we need to lose our "can't do" attitude? Well, if it's ok for folks here to admit there's actually a "can't do" attitude, which is the same as saying "defeatist", then let no one ever again complain that at one time Stephen spoke the truth which many here didn't want to embrace.

Maritimers have grown so accustomed to the dependence and equalization and stuff that they literally cannot conceive of the region someday becoming "wealthy" enough on its own to no longer need any equalization at all. Equalization seems to be regarded here as a permanent thing, even a right, which is the wrong attitude. It should be seen as something to supplement the provinces in a time of lesser economic activity.

BTW, ever think of this: if all provinces are having a recession and are in deficit, then how on earth can it be expected that they could spare money for other provinces? Wonder if the formula addresses that?

Point is that equalization should not be taken as a "granted". Otherwise, the Maritimes would be like subjects of Ottawa rather than a proud, self-sufficent region that can take care of itself, thank you very much, Ottawa...

Oops, sorry I'm off-topic there...

Got more stuff on my site now... come see... I have pictures of moonbats that you'll just love...

awareness said...

Hey Ellen and Barbara.

Thank you for the feedback. I laughed writing the piece. I love it when a good idea just POPS into my head out of the blue!


I don't think I've seen a pic of McQueen's son. I'll have to look out for one.

I didn't read the telegraph today, but I did scan the gleaner. Same article on the front page, I think. It quote the DM for Economic Development. Sad, but true.

OMG, you've hit a nerve with me on this story and I should really write a post or two on it because I fully agree with the article. The attitude is what is killing us.

When I first moved to this province, there was a sense of this attitude,kind of a poor cousin sense of dependancy thing happening. Then a fellow by the name of Mr. FRANK McKenna arrived in town, won all the seats in the legislature and then proceeded to share his VISION with the locals. THEN, he proceeded to do something about it.

I was involved in an extensive upgrading and training program at that time for people on social assistance ........... a wonderful program that had a very positive impact on changing the attitude from one of dependency and "you better look after me," to one of self-sufficiency and "can-do" all the while McKenna and team were drumming up new business and employment opportunities.

It was a start and it did start changing the mindset.

Under the current administration? Yep, we have slipped back. There is no vision .......... for starters.

Oh, I could go on and on and on.....