Like a silent serpent weaving itself into the corners of comfort, the very presence of it shocks your delicate balance and makes you feel trapped in a place so heartless. Rabbi Abraham Heschel, who marched with Martin Luther King in Selma and described the experience of standing up for human rights as "praying with his feet" also wrote, "the opposite of good isn't evil. The opposite of good is indifference." I truly believe this. Goodness inside out is indifference.
Listen to people's stories of their struggles trying to seek help within a system driven society........ think about the times when you were trying to seek direction or clarity only to be head butted by recorded messages and dead ends. The resulting feeling is smothered by the choke hold judgement of indifference. It's like your "be-ingness" is stripped from your flesh.
You don't matter.
You're not equal.
You're an inconsequential unbeing.
We live within systems and layers of heartless bureaucracies, some of us in cities where everyone minds their own business and rarely sticks their neck out for a human being they don't know personally. Fed by a feast of unresolved emotions which have gathered internally, indifference breeds all around us. When one projects the passive aggressiveness of indifference to another, it sends shivers into places you never felt them before and leaves you with a sense of invisibility and rawness. It is feeling unloved. The detachment is so cold and final. Even when you know cerebrally it is simply a misfired coping mechanism.
It will take me a while to let go of the incessant question that rolls around in my head......... "How does one turn off loving another person with such finality? Then, I forcefully ask myself.........."Is this the truth? Is what I'm thinking really the truth?" It centres me again.... allows me to catch my breath ..... takes the bite out of the serpent feelings which had silently warped my level headedness with their anxious poison. Again, I ask myself........... "Is what I'm thinking REALLY the truth?"
And then, I hear a teenie tiny voice whispering an answer through the hollow echo of my question........ "no. what you are thinking isn't the truth. The truth is a slippery creation of your own making. Love evolves. changes colours. hides awhile. takes on different meanings. love never leaves, but gets lost in the hurt of others misconceptions and slippery truths. love fights off indifference because it becomes overpowered by the strength of compassion. some people are afraid of love, afraid of the intensity and he complications of its imperfection."
"True love is God's love, the teenie tiny voice continues. there's no such thing except God's love. the other love is the human kind and is hasn't been perfected and never will. know that happiness is available seven days a week. know that love alights when you share its blooms with others. don't wait for it to return as you once knew it........ right now, it is cocooning so that it can transform into something beautiful."
All of a sudden, the angle of my gaze alters. And the serpent? Well, I killed that beast. Again. You can kill the beasties too you know? And when you do???
The human being becomes a being again.
Respect unfurls in smiles and recognition.
Love comes out from under the covers.
And you remember that happiness is available 7 days a week......
That's the honest to God truth.