on the cusp

They do grow up too fast, don't they? It seems like last summer I bumped around with a swollen belly carrying my son who wriggled like ocean waves whenever I sat down for a breather. I remember being able to cup my hand on his tiny bum underneath my skin and feel him roll from side to side getting comfortable in a space that was getting too small to remain in. When he was a newborn, still struggling to find comfort in the evening shade of colic, I would rock him close to me........my arm underneath his body and my hand cupping his little tush in order to let his legs dangle in freedom. He was in my arms a lot back then and if he wasn't in mine, he was cuddled up in his father's.

Not a good little sleeper, his feeding was a constant grazing process because he was born with a soft larynx which didn't sit properly at times. It affected his milk consumption and sometimes his sleep patterns. As he slept in his bassinet, whenever he inhaled, you would swear he had swallowed a trumpet. The noise he made made it unnecessary to have a baby monitor. In fact, if we didn't hear the noise, we were off and running to check on him. Another side effect of this soft larynx thing? Colds and lots of them. He was born with a runny nose, my boy. And he was very susceptible to croup. Have you ever had to deal with a croupy baby? It is one of the scariest sounds I have ever experienced. I thank God I wasn't dealing with it alone because it completely freaked me out. Jamie was the calm one on the croup front.

11 years have come and gone. My son has always been a cuddler, as is his sister, and I think partially it's because we held him and rocked him close, never sparing kisses on his beautiful head and toes..... Though he wouldn't be caught dead holding my hand these days, even last night he cuddled up beside me on the couch to watch Jeopardy and to talk about his latest interests. The underlying reason I know is that he was trying to comfort me after a day of dealing with a little flu bug which had hit me with a vengeance.

He has good empathy in his soul. I wish I could still rock him like I once did, but having him beside me where I can put my arm around his broadening shoulders and kiss him on the forehead when he's lost that kid self conciousness is enough.

He is on the cusp. 11 years old with a little boy voice still.....growing limbs that havent recaptured their coordination yet........competing with the girls both on the court and in the classroom..... asking me to buy anti-perspirant for gym class even though to me he still smells like soap and powder..... understanding adult jokes when I wonder if he has a clear understanding of adolescent issues..... sharing child tears when frustration or wrongdoing kicks sand in his face...... skipping off to play with the little kids on the street to shoot some hoops or play hide and seek...........having a blast playing with water balloons...skipping stones......choosing bubble gum ice cream over anything else........telling people that his mom makes the best spaghetti and meatballs in the whole world.......taking on a new language in school like it was no big deal.....wanting to play games and hang out with his Dad always......finding his way.......my stand up comedian math whiz guitar playing hockey fanatic baseball affectionado facebooking Max.

He's now in middle school......in french immersion and for various reasons he managed to find himself in a class of 11. Like private school. 11 little bright lights, 5 of whom he has been in a classroom with since kindergarten. Soon, the dances will start. Soon, the tucked in secrets will happen. Soon, the group of friends will grow in importance more and more when it comes to decision making and social mores. Our door will always be open to all of them. Our home will be offered as a place to hang out, as we accomodate for these growing learning yearning kids as well as guide as best as we can......

I took these two pictures on the first day of Middle school............of Max and his best friend on their way to catch the bus at the end of the street. The basketballs settled under the tree....the little cart with wheels waiting to be used again. And I wondered what they were talking about...... most likely a combination of what they always talk about....... but with a bit of fear of the unknown interspersed with it. New beginnings..................and on the cusp of the unravelling of the mysteries of being teenagers. For now though, he's still my little boy who calls me at work everday when he gets home just to tell me he's safe and that he loves me. You can't beat that.

This week's theme for Carmi's thematic photography is "Kids......" This may turn me into a mommy blogger yet.........cause I've got another one I'd like to post about too. :) For more takes on Kids.........check out Carmi's blog......

thanks Carmi......:)