handle with care

"You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff." Bono

I've always had a tough time with the idea that a person is only given what they can handle. To me, this falls into the same category as being told "it was meant to be," when someone you love has died. What a pompously dismissive unfeeling attitude that simply shuts off the empathy valve. All conversation screeches to a halt. I mean, how do you reply to this?



"Yeah, the sorry bastard. I guess he picked the shortest straw in the game of life and resilience. Thank God he has only been given all that he can handle."


Suffering may be the place where we grind out our best growth; it may be where our wounds turn into a thing of beauty, but it seems to me that some people are given way more than their share of what they can handle and some seem to BREEZE through life with only a few nicks. Sometimes a person's suffering is more than they can carry. They are so enveloped in pain.......pain so debilitating that they are simply a heap on the sofa, pain so wielding in power that they don't have the capacity to pull themselves up off the floor to seek help, forgotten about by the people who walk by their door yards without a blink of an eye........because, well.........those sorry bastards are only given what they can handle. They'll figure it out, and will learn big things from the experience. Besides they deserved it?


Whats the lesson here? Well, the person has learned that they have a limit to what they can handle. Or maybe that God is pissed off with them? Can't this have been taught in a different manner? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does one believe in a God who holds grudges? I certainly don't.

We all have a tipping point in the game of suffering. Whether we are one of those who is offered the view from that precipice or whether we are one of those who never reach it depends on Karma? I don't know. Strip away strength. Strip away resources. Douse the flame too many times and most of us buckle under the burdening weight of not having the capacity to cope with it all. Then what?

Some people in our lives, particularly the difficult ones, and certain experiences we happen to encounter seem more predestined as means for us to learn big personal lessons. Carl Jung believed, "everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Could it be that self-awareness and the stripping of our own layers of ego defenses occur most dramatically under these circumstances? Still, how many layers do we have to shed before our skin is too raw for even the tenderest of touch? Where does Grace enter into the picture? Maybe it's when we allow the internal struggle between sense and nonsense to rest in the cradle of genuflective reverence. Sometimes it the only place where we are helped with our balance.

(this post was inspired after a homevisit a couple of weeks ago. I met with a beautiful woman who has to spend most of her days on the couch in pain......life has thrown her a boatload of lemons.....her physical pain was very real, and it was manifested by years of abuse. She was gracious and open to share her story with us..... Her optimism despite her struggles was humbling)