Tonight, I got in my van to go pick up my daughter at a friends house. The sky was overcast which gave the night a much darker feel to it, but also made the van feel like a bit of a refuge as I drove on a short part of the deserted highway listening to the soundtrack from the movie, The Mission. The first three songs on that soundtrack resonate a sense of strength and resilience....the haunting, resounding choir fueled my thoughts. It always fills me with pictures of natural beauty, of determination, of working hard to climb ragged peaks.
The music captures the essence of the movie which I saw over 20 years ago now and have never seen again, though the scenes are so clearly etched in my memory that I don't need to. Morricone's music from both this movie and Cinema Paradiso is rivetting in is tragically resilient beauty......where love and faith offer the challenge to overcome our personal struggles.
Listening to the orchestra play to me alone, I was left with a picture of my day that seemed to be bookended with two amazing people. It was a day which began teaching with a strong woman, a friend, who shared some of her personal story with a bunch of 13 year old girls as a way to help them understand the possibilities of overcoming diversity. It has ended with reading the story of another strong woman, a new friend who shared with me in writing, some of what she endured as a child and how she managed to persevere and to overcome horrific personal experiences. Their stories are unbelievably similar..........their strengths are too. I have the good fortune to be working closely with both of them.
Their personal lifestories are fraught with numerous events which for many people would debilitate and scar beyond healing. And yet, these two strong women not only managed to heal their wounds, they somehow managed to overcome what seem to be insurmountable odds to a point where they effectively help others in their struggle. They are at a point in their lives where they can share some of their stories with others as a means of helping, as a way of perhaps finding more salve for their own deep wounds.
I am left wondering how they have been able to do that. I have seen literally hundreds of people who aren't able to cope with half of what these two strong woman have endured..........what is it in them that has allowed them to keep taking big effective steps forward? Where does the strength come from and where did they find it? Can you teach someone how to be more resilient than they are or is it just the individual make-up of these women that has given them the inner tools to forgive?
What is their magic formula.....? I don't know the answer. My best attempt is a guess.
Listening to the orchestra play to me alone, I was left with a picture of my day that seemed to be bookended with two amazing people. It was a day which began teaching with a strong woman, a friend, who shared some of her personal story with a bunch of 13 year old girls as a way to help them understand the possibilities of overcoming diversity. It has ended with reading the story of another strong woman, a new friend who shared with me in writing, some of what she endured as a child and how she managed to persevere and to overcome horrific personal experiences. Their stories are unbelievably similar..........their strengths are too. I have the good fortune to be working closely with both of them.
Their personal lifestories are fraught with numerous events which for many people would debilitate and scar beyond healing. And yet, these two strong women not only managed to heal their wounds, they somehow managed to overcome what seem to be insurmountable odds to a point where they effectively help others in their struggle. They are at a point in their lives where they can share some of their stories with others as a means of helping, as a way of perhaps finding more salve for their own deep wounds.
I am left wondering how they have been able to do that. I have seen literally hundreds of people who aren't able to cope with half of what these two strong woman have endured..........what is it in them that has allowed them to keep taking big effective steps forward? Where does the strength come from and where did they find it? Can you teach someone how to be more resilient than they are or is it just the individual make-up of these women that has given them the inner tools to forgive?
What is their magic formula.....? I don't know the answer. My best attempt is a guess.
I believe they have somehow learned to bloom wherever they have landed.....where this music is playing....... on earth as it is in heaven. May I continue to be working alongside and with them to learn how to let the petty stresses in life slip away and to be filled with enough water in my bucket to moisten the flowering seeds in my life as well as others.
12 comments:
How lucky you are to know two such people. I am also glad that you turned that experience into a lesson for all of us. Thank You.
This is such an interesting post, Dana. I wonder about the resiliency of some people to flourish in spite of horrific adversity in their very young lives. Here are my thoughts on this: There is something that happens in the very act of an egg and a sperm coming together....That meeting and the individual strengths and/or weaknesses of each of these entity's starts certain things in motion that one carry's with them for the rest of their life. Certain strengths, in spite of a possibly difficult journey. I've heard so many mothers say..."I had nothing to do with who she/he is...that is how she/he came out, when speaking of a child of theirs...Well, it's probably not completely true that THEY had nothing to do with who these individuals are, but in a certain way, that trip that the sperm and the egg each take individually and then together, really has EVERYTHING there ....(Am I making any sense?? LOL)
I once wrote a play about my Conception....I called the play "The Start Of The Blues". Because of my "PRIMAL" work, I know that trip that each part of me took...I just got interupted by a phone call....More Later....
Sorry about the interuption...I'll try to get back to the point I was trying to make....
So, in this play, (A one-act) we see and hear from each of these entity's when they meet, etc....And my feeling is that everything you are capable of in terms of the'stamina of life', is set into motion right then and there. Yes, the environment you them grow in---the whomb, etc. it all makes a difference of course plus each of these enitity's--the egg and the sperm---bring with them all the experience of the people they came from, and bavk, and back, and back....
Could this be what gives each person the ability to survive all sorts of adversity, or not.
Just some thoughts on why some people seem to overcome terrible terrible things and others do not. Is it in their DNA? And is it in those other elusive un-nameable things set in motion when all we were WAS "Feelings", that make each of us the unique individuals we are? Something to think about.
dr. john....welcome! I am very lucky....and it's my pleasure to offer up some of my own learning as i find the words to capture them sometimes. this was one of those times......
The two women and myself had several interesting conversations today on resiliency, partly because of what i had written, and mostly because they are very open to share their thoughts on how they managed to "bloom where they landed...."
Naomi.....THANK YOU for sharing your personal perspective on this topic.....would love to know more about Primal work.....have always been very fascinated about that type of therapy because it seems to me that it would be such a vulnerable yet powerful place to be when experiencing it at its zenith?
I shared your comments with one of my friends I was writing about. She was very interested, and sent me a link to a website on resiliency. What was REALLY bizarre about this was that while I was phoning her about your comments, she was SENDING me the link!!
Some of my conversation today with both of my friends/colleagues was very very similar to what you have written....that it is a combination of what they inherited from both parents.....and in fact their siblings didn't acquire the same traits.
I think it's wonderful you wrote a play on your own experience....and I love the title.....:)
Could write all night here!!
thank you!
Naomi.....am sending you the link mary sent me..... I think you'll find it very interesting.
You have written this with such beauty and love. You are blessed to have the awareness that you do. Thank-you for sharing so much.
I love the idea of blooming where you land. I hear so many people talk about the ultimate tomorrow - bills paid, kids raised, everyone fed, house tidy and on and on - and THEN.... I think that tomorrow never comes.
Why not bloom where you land.
Mark, thank you. It was one of those thoughts at the end of the day, which was triggered by the music i have linked here that pulled together the many thoughts of my day......I saw the thread and went with it.
Claudia...ME TOO. There was a story on my friend Pip's blog about a year ago which I was thinking of about a pail that had a crack in it and when the girl who was using it to carry water would walk from the stream to her home, it would drip along the way....it turned out she was watering flower seeds which eventually bloomed and she didn't even know it.....I was thinking of that story when the idea of "blooming where you land" came to mind.
"I don't know the answer. My best attempt is a guess." Those who flourish while others wither away has also been a mystery to me. I used to think it had something to do with one's faith, but I have seen people of devout, sincere faith be crushed by circumstances...This weekend we went on a hike and saw large trees growing on the tops of boulders. I wondered where could their roots go deep enough on the thin layer of soil to support such tall trees? On close inspection there were cracks in the boulders with roots running into the ground behind them. They found a way, even if it is unusual way to flourish in the spot they landed! Great post Dana...loved the music and the scenes on YouTube---now I want to see this movie.
Tim...It always amazes me where and how some trees and plants manage to deal with such adversity...it's a good analogy. Last week while canoeing, we paddled by islands which were submersed from the spring flooding....they were covered in healthy trees and fields of ferns and other growth....all lush and thriving.....I couldn't help but wonder how they managed to survive such an onslaught of ice and water for so long and then return to their natural beauty.
YOU WOULD LOVE the movie THE MISSION. It's a powerfully moving story. And from my perspective, the main characters were played by the big gun actor hotties...De Nero, Neeson, Aiden Quinn, and Mr. Jeremy Irons. oh, yeah!
That movie was pivotal in my spiritual director's journey. He said when the guy's load of belongings went over the cliff something happened within him and he let go of a lot of baggage in that moment. I haven't seen the movie but have wanted to becaus of how if affected my SD.
I don't know what makes the difference in a person's journey to healing. It's a puzzle to me, too. But I feel grateful to be one of the ones who is healing.
This was one of those posts where you captured the essence of the story so beautifully and perfectly that it hit straight to the heart.
Some people are truly amazing with the tragedies and adversities they not only face head on but overcome with enormous strength and courage. I stand in awe of their spirit and strength.
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