instruments of peace

Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I always return to this prayer.  For me it holds the key ingredients to living as God intended us to –

***With a heart driven reverence for all of life by breaking it down beyond the complicated ruminations to the simple elegance of the natural elements we live amongst.

*** With the belief that what impacts me, will indirectly impact those around me and visa versa.  Our lives flow in and around one another in ways that more often than not will remain part of the mystery.  

Like everyone, I am imperfect.  My reactive emotions go awry and hurt others even when I don’t intend them to because of my lack of skills in recognizing the deeper triggers they lance.  Sometimes it’s only upon shadow driven reflection, or when someone points it out to me that I become more aware of how I’ve been perceived or how I have misbehaved.  It is only then, from the place inside where shame dwells will awareness come from the “whys” and the “how comes….”  

Our reactive emotions are ego led.  We soften and become more humble when we recognize the blind side of ourselves and how much we can lash out if we are incensed by not being understood, or by believing our personal needs are somehow supposed to be met by someone other than ourselves.   Gentleness, as it is so beautifully spoken through St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer,  is the harmony which wraps us in peace.   We hear the hymn and live the hymn when we eliminate the ambitious bully from our spirit.

*** With the intent of offering support without expectations or recognition.  This is difficult to do, because we all love to know we are needed.  We all want to be loved by the people around us.  But sometimes, through our own previous actions or because of the other person’s woundedness, or because of many uncontrollable forces that seem to penetrate our lives in ways we can even foresee let alone manage, we are fueled by our egocentric “needs” to be fulfilled.  

Our actions and reactions go from kind offerings with no strings attached to giving with convoluted expectations.  We set ourselves up if we offer ourselves to the service of others with a sense of trying to fill up our ego tanks.    I want to attract what I am, not attract what I want.   I say this prayer with that in mind, and perhaps one day that sense of contentment will not be so fleeting. 

*** From a place of honest sincerity….. I am who I am and will try my best to offer the gifts I have been bestowed, and let go so I can live my intended destiny.  The best that I can strive for is to be myself and not carry a false mask.  

What comes to mind is Thoreau’s quote:  “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours….”

Love is an action word.  To love is to be your real self and to try your best to always look through the lens of another’s gaze.

Not that any of this is easy.   

Mid afternoon light streams, 

Church of the Holy Trinity, Toronto

April, 2010