Monday, May 11, 2009

possibilities.


Early Saturday morning and I found myself driving 4 beautiful 15 year old girls to a weekend at a summer camp about an hour and a half away from town. They have all applied for jobs as CIT's (Counsellor in Training)and are competing against 28 kids for 16 positions. The whole excitable crew converged at the camp with the Director and summer staff for a tryout of sorts! They were so cute, and so excited and so nervous and knowing how psyched my own daughter has been throughout the winter as we approached this formidable weekend, I'm sure the other families have experienced the same jitters along with waves of doubts and bravado .
Still on the verge of innocence, though worldly in their own ways….knowledgeable and aware, their anticipation of what lies ahead was contagious! We stopped at the "Blue Canoe" Irving Big Stop on the TransCanada for a treat and off we went.......listening to their great choices of "indie" music while driving off the big highway and out into the country side, following the Saint John River south…..

You would love the scenery and landscape….the big beautiful trees….pine, birch, maple, towering evergreen, oak, cedar……., undulating hills and beautiful still water painted with reflections of the shoreline. It always makes me slide into a natural calm, like I feel when slipping into an old sweatshirt and a pain of worn in jeans. False pretenses and quickened paces disappear, packed away in a forgotten memory of "must do's." What is left as I find my way back to the countryside is an ambling soundtrack, strummed by someone who loves getting lost in the harmony, hunched over their guitar as one. There is a sense of reveries revisited, like the pull of a paddle on the sleepy surface of the deep bluegreen water below.

As we continued to hug the shoreline, the river widens a great deal and it has a feel of a lake where the camp is situated. This too holds familiarity for my own travels towards a place I hold dear in my own heart. Though my camp experiences happened many years ago, in a completely different part of this country, the scenery coupled with the excitement swirling in the conversations in the van allowed me to completely understand where these girls are in their lives, and what they have in store for them as they hold onto hope of being one of the handful chosen. Its funny, personal camp experiences............camper or staff........they all have the same bucket of feelings and very similar memories are gathered.
As I drove along, I longed to be sitting there as a 15 year old heading down the camp road again.......I guess we never lose that. Its not often I feel the urge to want to return to a younger age. But, when it comes to camp...........I'd do it over again in a minute!!!! And do it all the same.!! Even the big emotional roller coaster stuff that goes with adolescence.
Clouds and sunbursts……and new green where everywhere. I love the green of the season in its infancy….fields renewing….. a few deep purple blueberry fields restoring their growth…. Lovely cottages tucked along the river…….huge bales of hay rolled and left from last autumn…. Red roofs, tin roofs, big old country homes with scraped white peels and longed for porches that you know come June will be decorated with porch swings and bright colourful wicker, all to catch summer breezes. Inviting and private at the same time.....familial stories, ancestral ghosts creak into the large pine planks painted deep green.....whispers of the past......up and down the hills, turning off the country road onto another and another.......closer to our destination and the energy heightens.....
The girls went a little beserk when I pulled into the camp road…..squeals of delight and terror at the same time….were they going to be chosen???? It was LOUD! It was HILARIOUS!! These calm "I'm not nervous. Are you nervous??" teenagers let out a collective wail! I distinctly remember the feeling…..all youthful adrenaline surging hope, tumbling with the what if's….


I pulled into the driveway, and we all piled out of the van quickly……to be accosted by the familiarity of pine curled in wood smoke, and mossy mulch layered under the bare budded trees….the girls ran ahead to be enveloped in a large group hug from last summer kindreds. My heart felt full.......my own yearnings to feel the heat of my own kindreds surged through me. All these years later, I still have deep longings for those times. The sense of belonging never feels as sweet......

After a short stint…just to make sure they had all their gear…..and one last piece of advice "Just be your beautiful selves!!!!" .I got back in the van alone…. And took the long way home….. Just me and Mr. Springsteen…. And a view to die for. Layers of my armour fell off………possiblities visited…..I stopped and took photos whenever I wanted too, and thought about how much I would love to show you my part of this world.

I think I'm a country girl. Worn jeans and an old sweatshirt, a pair of comfie shoes that fit my sockless feet...... I feel most beautiful in that attire. I am my best sheltered in a cove of tall pine or standing in a open field surrounded by green innocence and bales to climb...... the possibilities are endless. Come join me?


16 comments:

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i'm just around the bend...pick me up sister.

Awareness said...

Irish Heather...you BET! You know, there were a few rundown old barns and remnants I drove past and kicked myself for not stopping to take photos....the scenes reminded me of your pictures you've posted. So, I was actually thinking of you on my little Saturday journey thinking you'd enjoy the scenery....all of it.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

You write about this in such a joyous manner---It Is Contagious! I wish I had been with you on this drive....! Wonderful pictures...I especially love the one of the two girls....It just says everything about how they were feeling....!

Thanks for coming by Dana and for your comment....Part 5 was just posted before coming on over to see you...! Nothing about toilets or TP in this one...lol!

Gilly said...

What a beautiful part of the country! I can just smell the pines.....

We don't have the summer camp tradition in the UK, I always thought it sounded a great idea! But those two lovely girls - slim, beautiful, full of joy. Did they get accepted? I do hope so.

Selma said...

That looks and sounds fantastic. The photos are gorgeous. My kind of break. Loverly!

Awareness said...

Naomi...I wish I had captured the four of them, but they raced off too quickly! It was such fun to be there to see how delighted they were to return to a place they all love and dearly want to be a part of for the whole summer.
Can't wait to read part 5!

Gilly...New Brunswick is quite beautiful all over the province...I'm hoping to take a trip north this summer to the Acadian Pennisula and the Gaspe coast...I know I'll be blown away by its beauty and landscape.
The girls will find out later in the week if they made it. I really hope so. Camp continues to be an integral part of who I am and how I see the world...I want that for them too.

ps. the one on the left is my lovely daughter and the one on the right is just like a daughter. They have known one another since they were babies.

Selma...there's no place like being close to a body of water. spiritually medicinal isn't it? :)

swile67 said...

oh yes, one day i will make a trip down east..very soon...i need the calm and friendly hospitality you don't get up here in Ontario!!:)i smell the fresh spring air in your pics!

Mark said...

Sounds beautiful, would love to join you!

paulwchambers said...

pip says we dwell in it.... am wondering if some decisions we make along the road mean we don't...

Awareness said...

Karyne...you're always welcome to join us out here. Fredericton is a perfect place to begin the Maritime tour "loop" The door is always open.

Mark....I have a feeling you would really enjoy the scenery and the friendliness of this part of the world.

Paul...ok, let me channel Father O. in my response....hmmm....what would his reply sound like??

Possibilities dwell in the eternal echos of our essence, in the hallowed field of dreams where our canvas of creativity dapples in God's light. The choices we make are merely temporary limitations or setbacks, and quite possibly opportunities for us to reflect more deeply into the pool of our souls. Who we are isn't defined by the temporal decision we make. Who we are dwells in our essence of possibilities.

how's that mr. chambers?

Ted A. Brooks said...

I felt like I was a passenger in your car. What a gift you have. So glad to have found my way to your site today. It was a great experience.
Angel Blessings

Scarlet said...

I wanna go on that drive!

Awareness said...

Ted...Welcome. :) Thank you for dropping by and leaving such lovely sentiments. Hope you visit again soon.

Scarletina....hop in!

Gypsy said...

This post left me feeling uplifted, calm, content and full of the joys of life and nature in all it's glory. Would you mind picking me up on the way?

Awareness said...

Gypsy...it would be my pleasure to pick you up along the way. I'll even let you choose the tunes. :)

swile67 said...

thank you for the invite...i will remember that!!!