yearnings

There is a man who walks everyday all through town. He's a regular sight, as he walks along the side of the road. Not slow, nor is his pace fast. Rather, it seems to be constant........the same number of steps a minute, the same lope, the same space between his steps. Hands in his pockets, eyes averting the world, he walks all day long. It must be all day long because he is seen at all hours of the day, often on the same route. A circular journey within the town limits.

I often wonder if his true yearnings stretch beyond his ordinary expectations as he walks endlessly. Is he wrestling with a turmoil that knows no bounds? Does he walk in search of a place to hide from the truth? Or, is he looking for a home to rest his head in love? Will he ever find that illusive soft belly love?

There is an unquenchable thirst when one is drinking from a fountain of dreams isn't there? Discontented ache in our hungry bones scramble to seek satisfaction and serenity as we yearn for calm, as we long for peace. Is this man walking to fill his soul with eternal sentiments rather than the dark cold brought on by absence and loneliness? Will he ever find comfort? What would happen if he stopped walking, would his ache and yearnings swallow him whole? I think they may and I find it very sad. His whole life, days on end, is an endless walk.

We may think we are uniquely different than this man, who seeking for a lost soul. But, I think we are more alike than we want to admit. Our yearnings are the same. Some of us may have found the serenity captured in the sacred messiness of our lives. Some of us may have found the ingredients to be able to remain journeying in the present day. But, my feeling is that most of us find ourselves stretched by our holy yearnings, our unquenching desires that consume us in restlessness. Luckily for the most part, these strong pulling longings come and go. We do find some solace when we can reach the pinnacle of internal security.

Prayer helps us find grounding

Harnessing our yearnings to use the energy bursting from them helps us to determine real goals.

Interactions with others who love us unconditionally stave off the wandering lustfulness that yearnings can nuture.

Fulfilling our sexual appetites with someone whom we can reach heightened stirrings and deep sleep calm with most certainly helps.

Seeking out the attainment of peace through our decisions and choices on our journey most definately helps us integrate the dream filled yearnings with expectations.

Knowing and seeing an enduring light, sometimes openly bright, and sometimes through a tiny crack helps us find recognition and connection with our Higher power.

It is when our yearnings capture our innermost thoughts and hold them at ransom that we are in trouble. If all of a sudden we find ourselves walking and walking with the same pace, the same lope, in a perseverative circle in our thinking, the shackles of restless temptation take hold. It's hard to break free because all of a sudden, the yearnings produce big shadows that block the light, that affect our choices, that lead us down a prickly path of discontent. We lose sight of our real lives, and of our comfort zone. The throbbing ache accumulated through the endless walking and searching settles into your bones and eats away at any stored energy, leaving an absence. And absence is painful.

The walking man never stops, and yet is he accomplishing anything? No he isn't, except perhaps he's able to find some semblance of balance that keeps his mental illness at bay. However, he doesn't have time to do anything else, like trying to connect with another human being, like stopping at the church to pray quietly. He seems to be a part of the community because he's visible, but what we see is the outer casing walking by. He lives on the periphery and remains on the periphery of society..........walking off his unrelenting yearnings.

The only way to be in control of our own longings and desires is to be fully aware of them as we can. If we know that all yearnings want to push down the path to contentment, harmony, serenity and peace...........that all we want is to find the soft belly love, the warmth of companionship, the sense of belonging soaked in the succulence of a life lived, we need to learn to stop, sit and enjoy the view for a while to learn how to just be.

Right in the present moment of life............

what are your restless yearnings?