It began with the title of my very first post and from there the words began to flow. Two years ago, I started this blog as a place to capture my thoughts and opinions under an umbrella named Awareness. Broad enough to allow me the freedom to harvest from an abundantly growing field of ideas, my Awareness blog has evolved along with me. My writing has taken on an importance in my daily life I never expected. It has also given me a new future to pursue in my career.
When I looked back today on what I did write in my first post, I laughed at the fact that I had written about being "unfinished"........... a theme I returned to again just this past week. Gee, had I moved forward at all?
No question. I'm still very much unfinished, but I've added more glistening threads to my life tapestry while I have also reflected on some of the threaded designs I had created before. This daily activity (and some would rightfully point it out as an obsession) has moved me down an emotional, spiritual and cognitive path I could never have imagined in 2005. My goal was to write to learn..... and LEARN I have as I continue along with the same goal.
I've done a bit of writing too! Housed on this blog are over 600 posts, 100 or so I am very proud of and continue to revisit in order to work on something publishable. Sometimes I will read something I have written a while back and feel giddy about the phrasing of a particular paragraph, or because of a word trip flow I managed to capture all by myself. Many pieces have a the message intact but need some TLC to pull it out more effectively. I have enough distance from it to be able to do this work with an open mind. I own the words, but they don't chain me down to a point where editing and fixing is a struggle. Part of this comes from the reminder I give myself................Write now..........just get it down..............and edit later. The key is to just write and write and write. You can revisit later. And that's what I've done.
2 whole years!! I thought I'd run out of ideas. I thought the tap would run dry. There seems to be no end in sight. My writing has gone from awareness to internalization. It is a clear part of me.......of who I am..........of what I look like. My writing is something I carry with me every minute just like the special people in my life. I may not have seen them in a while. I may not have even spoken to them in a long time. But those special people never leave me. I carry them inside. My writing is the same. There may be a time when the muses have gone on vacation, but because I have internalized it, writing will forever be in my creative mind and body.
So, where did I begin? With "A New Day"..........just like every day. And what did I write in my first post that made me laugh.......??
"So, who am I? First and foremost, I am a lunatic, just like everyone else in this crazy complicated world. I tend to see things through absurdist eyes. I believe in fate, destiny, original ideas, optimism, hope, innocence, willfulness, honesty, goodness, love and freedom. And as I continue to search for clearer understanding and acceptance of my faith, I will venture forward with my eyes, ears and heart wide open. I will use this writing space to express my discoveries, to share my opinions, to sort out my views, to rant about injustice, and to write to learn."
Not much has changed? Sounds pretty darn familiar to me! Yes, this description is definately still me.........and how I view the world.......but I have different vantage points..........shifts have happened.......and hopefully I will always be proud of my unfinished lunacy.
*The moment you stop caring about the things that matter is the moment you stop living with your eyes wide open.*
ps....written in part by the prompt "the journey" from a new writer's site, Writer's island.....check out the journeys others have shared.