Friends and Strangers

the park bench outside of my office.
a nice place for a conversation between two strangers

The other night, I had dinner with one of my oldest and dearest friends who was in town for a training session. We hadn't talked in a long while............not one of those rambling random updates that cover a gazillion topics......and it felt wonderful to reconnect. More importantly it was great to know that even though so much time had melted away when we weren't in touch at all because of busy lives and little children and geographical distances etc, we had not lost touch with the kinship we had for one another. It was still there, as strong as it always had been and if it hadn't been for closing time at the restaurant and individual commitments, I think we'd still be sitting there yapping away sipping on wine.

We met as strangers during orientation week of first year university.........it was a natural gravitation.......one that has no explanation. We simply gelled right away. Call it chemistry. Call it kismet. It was fate that somehow Heather and I would find ourselves as members of a small group of residents who shared a wing of a girls dormitory. Though we are different in many ways, our personalities, temperments and interests complimented one another, so much so that we travelled through Europe backpacking together, and then stood up for one another at our subsequent weddings.

Life events solidify friendships. But there is more to it than that because there are many people in our lives whom we shared milestones with, who were there when we experience the "firsts." There are some whom you worked with everyday for years in close quarters, or whom you spent time with sharing deep stuff with while working on a project. There are some you grew up with........went to school with every single day, and yet if you were to see them now, it would be like meeting a stranger. Geez.........there are some whom you were intimate with and yet they would be like one of the hundreds of unfamiliar faces you pass by in the course of a day. The connect has disappeared.

Why is that? Why do some relationships from our past never cross over to the present when you have a history together, while others whom you may not have seen or talked to in 20 years have not wilted on the vine whatsoever? It's a bizarre feeling to meet someone you spent hours snogging with years ago and you might as well be starring at a total stranger.

We move on. WE are always evolving and transforming............learning and growing........choosing new ventures, new interests, new avenues. So has every single person on the planet. What's more, we have accumulated life's scars and battle wounds too, which leave us possibly with new perspectives. We may have the same inherent personality underneath, but we have life experiences which have added to the texture and colours of our personal tapestry. So have they.

So some of those people in our past...........and I would hazard to guess that the majority of them......have evolved into strangers. We have lost the common threads.

I think this is what makes an old friendship...........one that may not have been as nutured as it should have along the way.........such a gift when the magic is still there. Though much of our conversation was on "catch up" news, we also stepped right into the present and beyond. That's the difference isn't it. We remain distantly estranged with old friends whom we can only touch on the past with. WE thrive and grow with old friends if there is the spark to chime on about the here and now, about dreams and aspirations............. and the recognition that our roots are healthy, our interest in one another's opinions and ideas is still alive and well, and that we are open to embracing each other's nicks from life.

Written especially for Writer's Island, whose prompt this week is The Stranger.......

Check out more stranger and fascinating ideas here.......