"As soon as you look at the world through an ideology you are finished.No reality fits an ideology. Life is beyond that. That is why people are always searching for a meaning to life. But life has no meaning; it cannot have meaning because meaning is a formula; meaning is something that makes sense to the mind. Every time you make sense out of reality, you bump into something that destroys the sense you made. Meaning is only found when you go beyond meaning. Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind."
Father de Mello has described a typical day, hasn't he? We are always striving to makes sense........to always wonder what the underlying meaning is behind everything.........instead of just living and letting ourselves live a mystery. Life is multi-coloured..........with many shades in between. It will never be starkly black and white no matter how hard we try. Mysteries have engagingly thrilling aspects as well as deeply frightening dark alley parts. You can't have one without the other can you?
And yet..............we will always ask why...........we need to figure it out. Especially when the balance is off kilter....between right and wrong, between joy and sorrow, between deep felt pain and euphoria.........between dark and light. We ask why while we search for balance of spirit. That's how our minds work.
Our thinking feeds our feeling. Our feelings feed our thinking. Our feelings and thinking feed our behaviour. All three feed our spirit......our "will". When one of these overrides the other two..........if we are overwhelmed with feelings, it most certainly impacts and distorts our thoughts. If we are stuck in a cognitive world always thinking while keeping our emotions at bay, locked up tightly with no access to expression, our thoughts get all twisted and our bodies start to ache. If we act impulsively without thinking and without acknowledging our feeling, we have the capacity to do mind numbingly stupid things.......without knowing the consequences until it's too late.
When the imbalance occurs..........we spend our time trying to figure out why we did something, or why we feel the way we do, or why we are thinking too much. Instead, I believe we need to focus on finding the balance sometimes and not ask the why question so often................ to have a little faith.......
We will continue to ask the questions of course. Mysteries are motivating. We will continue to experience a myriad of emotions and thoughts daily as we sort it all out........as we unravel the mystery and as we figure out the part we play in the mystery.
Easier written than lived..................yesterday a very close friend was flooded with feeling which made her body ache and her head throb. It was the anniversary of her son's death. He was tragically hit by a car in front of his home right after he got off the school bus. He would be in his 30's now. December 12th is always a day for my friend to surrender to grief.......
My friend and I worked very closely everyday on the frontlines for many years. She heard all of the same stories I have heard........ piercing her heart daily. She is a feeling person, my friend.......an open heart full of compassion for others. It was one of the big ways she learned to cope with her own grief......to offer her heart to others. Always. To be optimistic and expressive and sometimes defiant in her fight to make sure others didn't suffer so much. She is now home trying to tackle the physical aches and pain and hasn't been able to return to work in a long time. It took it's toll..........
The sun will rise on a new day today.........and my friend will find her way as she tucks her love for her son back into it's place in her heart......
Thinking of you Barb...........no answers, no words...........my friendship always.
Anthony de Mello
Father de Mello has described a typical day, hasn't he? We are always striving to makes sense........to always wonder what the underlying meaning is behind everything.........instead of just living and letting ourselves live a mystery. Life is multi-coloured..........with many shades in between. It will never be starkly black and white no matter how hard we try. Mysteries have engagingly thrilling aspects as well as deeply frightening dark alley parts. You can't have one without the other can you?
And yet..............we will always ask why...........we need to figure it out. Especially when the balance is off kilter....between right and wrong, between joy and sorrow, between deep felt pain and euphoria.........between dark and light. We ask why while we search for balance of spirit. That's how our minds work.
Our thinking feeds our feeling. Our feelings feed our thinking. Our feelings and thinking feed our behaviour. All three feed our spirit......our "will". When one of these overrides the other two..........if we are overwhelmed with feelings, it most certainly impacts and distorts our thoughts. If we are stuck in a cognitive world always thinking while keeping our emotions at bay, locked up tightly with no access to expression, our thoughts get all twisted and our bodies start to ache. If we act impulsively without thinking and without acknowledging our feeling, we have the capacity to do mind numbingly stupid things.......without knowing the consequences until it's too late.
When the imbalance occurs..........we spend our time trying to figure out why we did something, or why we feel the way we do, or why we are thinking too much. Instead, I believe we need to focus on finding the balance sometimes and not ask the why question so often................ to have a little faith.......
We will continue to ask the questions of course. Mysteries are motivating. We will continue to experience a myriad of emotions and thoughts daily as we sort it all out........as we unravel the mystery and as we figure out the part we play in the mystery.
Easier written than lived..................yesterday a very close friend was flooded with feeling which made her body ache and her head throb. It was the anniversary of her son's death. He was tragically hit by a car in front of his home right after he got off the school bus. He would be in his 30's now. December 12th is always a day for my friend to surrender to grief.......
My friend and I worked very closely everyday on the frontlines for many years. She heard all of the same stories I have heard........ piercing her heart daily. She is a feeling person, my friend.......an open heart full of compassion for others. It was one of the big ways she learned to cope with her own grief......to offer her heart to others. Always. To be optimistic and expressive and sometimes defiant in her fight to make sure others didn't suffer so much. She is now home trying to tackle the physical aches and pain and hasn't been able to return to work in a long time. It took it's toll..........
The sun will rise on a new day today.........and my friend will find her way as she tucks her love for her son back into it's place in her heart......
Thinking of you Barb...........no answers, no words...........my friendship always.
3 comments:
You write so beautifully....
Sometimes we do not get the results we want when we want them...whether this constitutes 'answers' it up for question. As Churchhill says, when you are going through hell, keep going!
Well hello Barbara S.......
thank you for visiting.
So......what's on the other side of hell, praytell?
I honestly believe that there is no pain greater than the loss of your own
child. That would stop me in my tracks no matter what I was doing. Success,
failure, whatever...it would all be the same to me if any of my children
passed.
When a child passes, absolutely nothing matters anymore. I know that faith
helps people to see these events through, but the passing of your child stays
with you.
Romans 8:28 says that ALL THINGS work together for the good to those who love
God, but loving God at such a time seems to be a paradox to me. The pain is
often white hot, with no cooling in sight.
Brilliant post.
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