significance

"The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge to conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation." Alfred Adler

I was given many gifts this week. They all seemed to arrive in moments when I wasn't expecting them. Wrapped in words and actions and tied with big shiny bows of clarity, these gifts offered up opportunities to shift my perception.......

If one is ready.......if one is receptive.........new learning adds new sparkle to old learning, which in turn shifts one's thinking. If one's thinking is shifted, our feelings are stirred. If our feelings are stirred in a different direction, we act in a changed manner. Special new learning which produces "aha" moments when you realize it impacts you personally kickstarts this cognitive chain reaction with more gusto. You feel it with a level of intensity that startles the spirit. And if the spirit is moved? The gift of learning shimmers with meaning.

So what did I learn? I was given the gift of seeing the meaning behind the word significance. THEN................. I was offered an opportunity to feel significant. It energized me. It brought inner calm back to my spirit.

meaning
importance
love
belonging
security
vital
matter
relevance
signficance.

Alfred Adler, whose theories and perspective have often impacted my personal approach to counselling and to understanding human development believed that one's perceptions and interpretations of the world around them guide their behaviour. If one is feeling inferior, one will act in a manner he believes will lead to a sense of completeness. Consequently, all of our behaviour is guided by the goal to seek a sense of worth........to seek out significance.

The magnificence of feeling significant.

This fall, I have struggled to find my way in my world of work. After months of not being given any information about the change in my responsibilities, of not being asked for my opinion or to share my ideas, of being moved away from the women whom I have worked with for many years and then of not even being acknowledged after I was moved, my spirit sunk to a new low. As my spiritual spunk sunk, I stalled as I tried to find the words to capture how I felt.

I didn't fit.
I was odd
I was a misfit.
Where did I fit?
Do I fit anywhere?
It's fine to strive for uniqueness if one is accepted and recognized as significant. But if you're only able to feel unique and not significant than all you feel is a sense of living on the island of misfits no one cares.

I lost count of how many people asked me if I had done something wrong to have been "banished"...............that's how it looked to others..........that's how it looked to me. That's how it felt. All of a sudden, my unique attributes and my unique offerings within my world of work didn't seem to be recognized as needed. All of a sudden I felt stripped of significance. I lost my voice. I had lost my gumption.

As my perception of the situation percolated destructively, I fed it convoluted misunderstandings. I began to read the activity around me incorrectly. My intuition failed, and all of a sudden I couldn't be relied upon. I allowed my spirit to be flooded with misperceptions. All because of a sense of insignificance. It was tearfully AWFUL!! Luckily, the tides turned as they always do (though often when we are caught in the undertow, we don't feel like we'll ever get out) and I found my footing again at the same time that I found my voice. Funny how those two things go together.

My purpose is to allow others to feel a sense of significance. Having a fresh personal experience to link to adds new meaning to my purpose. Though my career path is still unclear, my significance within the department is....................abundantly clear.

The opportunity gift I was given? I was asked to tell a story about something I was proud of to a group of colleagues who were sitting in a semi-circle facing me. It was a simulation of an exercise that will be applied in our work back in our individual offices and worlds. Before I began, I had the unique perspective of facing all of them and realizing that I had a history with these people. Though we all live in different parts of the province and only really come together once a year, the sense of belonging I felt was deep. I felt secure. The story blossomed from the sense of signficance I felt.

I told them about my writing. I told them about the journey I began a little over a year ago to learn through my writing. I shared my feelings on how it has transformed me.........how it has allowed my creativity and my imagination to flow again. As I continued, they asked questions while jotting down characteristics and skills one would have to own to be able to accomplish this. After I finished talking, they were asked to share one characteristic or skill they identified with me. The positive feedback along with the genuine feeling behind their words lifted my spirits in a way that left me floating with zippy energy.

We all matter. We all need to feel significant.

Yes. I'm still a misfit......an original oddball..........but I'm a significant one. That makes all the difference. hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....maybe I'm a cracked pot who drips water on a garden of seeds. :)