Last fall, I wrote down my initial thoughts with respect to my role as a Counsellor. At the time, I was preparing a workshop for a conference, as well as attempting to put in words my personal "mission statement" of sorts in order to prepare the approach I would take in teaching a night course at the University. Not only did it help me clarify my opinion on the role of a Counsellor, it also allowed me a chance to realize again why I entered into the field in the first place.
I always knew I would return to the topic, since I spend most of my days in the role. Today feels like the perfect day to do so because I am about to embark on a trip down memory lane, into my past where the whole concept of counselling and the idea of becoming one was established and nutured. (cue up......."All My Life's a Circle"). From age 15 on, I was very clear that I wanted to pursue a career in the helping profession. Not only did it suit my personality, it also seemed like a path that would fulfill my interest in hearing the personal stories of others, while supporting them and helping them grow as individuals. My focus at the time was on children, and in fact pursued Child Studies at university. Six summers working at a children's camp was a great foundation to build on that goal. Somewhere along the line, I crossed over and began working with adults of all ages. It's challenging, inspiring and often life affirming.
The key to any counselling situation is to connect. The key to connecting is listening attentively, as well as being able to carry the conversation constructively. It's very easy to get off track, or at least I find it easy to get off track. This is probably the most challenging aspect of my job, because I love nothing better than a rambling highly interesting, thought provoking conversation with someone. However, linearity is key for most clients to move forward. If things get too convoluted, confusion sets in. On the other hand, often the client's confessions are multi-layered..........they are all over the map. Paraphrasing, summarizing, asking closed questions instead of open-ended flowy questions that can lead to adding more layers, and reflecting their emotions back to them are all techniques that can help hone in on one issue at a time.
Timing also figures prominently. As mentioned in my previous post, counsellors rely on their ability to critically assess, to problem solve quickly and to think broadly. However, more times than not, options and answers may be clearer for the counsellor much earlier than the client is ready to talk about them, or even hear them. This is where intuition and reading cues are the tools of the trade, so as to read the timing properly so that the client is at the most receptive point in their learning.
Counselling is like a waltz.......or a rhumba...........or a foxtrot............depending on the pace that it takes. The dance steps may change, but the initial learning of the steps is the same. It can take a while to figure out how not to step on someone's feet, while trying to adjust to the tempo. Initially, the Counsellor takes the lead and may always play that role. It's not that the Counsellor has all the answers! Far from it. I can honestly state that more often than not, I finish a session with someone and walk away from it with new learning..............new thinking.......different ideas.
Counselling is also like a blank canvas big enough for two people (or a group of people) to create a mural on...............an open-ended, colourful mural. What continues to intrigue me and keeps me hooked into this field is that it is so similar to the process of creating and not focused on the end product. Though I work in the government world where it's necessary to jump through hoops, complete reams of paperwork, compile statistics, check numbers..................I get to be the Artist when I'm working with a client. I can close my door, shove the paperwork into a drawer all the while learning and listening and talking and confronting and asking and listening some more...................
Interestingly, I have often thought about the ideal counselling setting. If I had my druthers, it would be set up in a colourful room equipped for creativity, situated away from distracting traffic or noise. Nestled in the woods, possibly? I'd fill it with supplies of all stripes........paints, clay, all types and colours of paper, materials for making structures...........many tools for creating. Background music playing lightly. Welcoming, enticing, relaxing...........conducive to sharing thoughts and ideas, while possibly working on a project. Unintimidating. Yes, a counselling craft shop for all ages.
Hmmmmmmmm, I know exactly the right place. It's where my counselling skills were honed.... providing kids with projects to work on all the while listening to their heart stories. I guess I haven't ventured too far away from my roots.
I always knew I would return to the topic, since I spend most of my days in the role. Today feels like the perfect day to do so because I am about to embark on a trip down memory lane, into my past where the whole concept of counselling and the idea of becoming one was established and nutured. (cue up......."All My Life's a Circle"). From age 15 on, I was very clear that I wanted to pursue a career in the helping profession. Not only did it suit my personality, it also seemed like a path that would fulfill my interest in hearing the personal stories of others, while supporting them and helping them grow as individuals. My focus at the time was on children, and in fact pursued Child Studies at university. Six summers working at a children's camp was a great foundation to build on that goal. Somewhere along the line, I crossed over and began working with adults of all ages. It's challenging, inspiring and often life affirming.
The key to any counselling situation is to connect. The key to connecting is listening attentively, as well as being able to carry the conversation constructively. It's very easy to get off track, or at least I find it easy to get off track. This is probably the most challenging aspect of my job, because I love nothing better than a rambling highly interesting, thought provoking conversation with someone. However, linearity is key for most clients to move forward. If things get too convoluted, confusion sets in. On the other hand, often the client's confessions are multi-layered..........they are all over the map. Paraphrasing, summarizing, asking closed questions instead of open-ended flowy questions that can lead to adding more layers, and reflecting their emotions back to them are all techniques that can help hone in on one issue at a time.
Timing also figures prominently. As mentioned in my previous post, counsellors rely on their ability to critically assess, to problem solve quickly and to think broadly. However, more times than not, options and answers may be clearer for the counsellor much earlier than the client is ready to talk about them, or even hear them. This is where intuition and reading cues are the tools of the trade, so as to read the timing properly so that the client is at the most receptive point in their learning.
Counselling is like a waltz.......or a rhumba...........or a foxtrot............depending on the pace that it takes. The dance steps may change, but the initial learning of the steps is the same. It can take a while to figure out how not to step on someone's feet, while trying to adjust to the tempo. Initially, the Counsellor takes the lead and may always play that role. It's not that the Counsellor has all the answers! Far from it. I can honestly state that more often than not, I finish a session with someone and walk away from it with new learning..............new thinking.......different ideas.
Counselling is also like a blank canvas big enough for two people (or a group of people) to create a mural on...............an open-ended, colourful mural. What continues to intrigue me and keeps me hooked into this field is that it is so similar to the process of creating and not focused on the end product. Though I work in the government world where it's necessary to jump through hoops, complete reams of paperwork, compile statistics, check numbers..................I get to be the Artist when I'm working with a client. I can close my door, shove the paperwork into a drawer all the while learning and listening and talking and confronting and asking and listening some more...................
Interestingly, I have often thought about the ideal counselling setting. If I had my druthers, it would be set up in a colourful room equipped for creativity, situated away from distracting traffic or noise. Nestled in the woods, possibly? I'd fill it with supplies of all stripes........paints, clay, all types and colours of paper, materials for making structures...........many tools for creating. Background music playing lightly. Welcoming, enticing, relaxing...........conducive to sharing thoughts and ideas, while possibly working on a project. Unintimidating. Yes, a counselling craft shop for all ages.
Hmmmmmmmm, I know exactly the right place. It's where my counselling skills were honed.... providing kids with projects to work on all the while listening to their heart stories. I guess I haven't ventured too far away from my roots.
1 comment:
hi there,
my name is charlene steben. i went ot kawabi every august for a month from 1982-1987. i found a group through facebook for kawabi and have sadly discovered it is no longer running. i am heart broken. i think of all the kids in the future that will miss out on the kawabi experience and spirit and i am saddened. do you know why skip and nish stopped after 40 years?
please contact me at charlenesteben@hotmail.com.
looking forward to hearing from someone else who has been touched and has memories of kawabi
charlene
Post a Comment