what it means.........

I was asked the other day if I would pull together a piece of writing to capture the thoughts and feelings of a group of people who were about to say so long to a woman who had been their Manager a while back for many years and who had impacted them in a very positive personal way. They were a tight knit team. She is about to retire after 33 years leading and mentoring in the public service. I was honoured to be asked and agreed. Personally I have known her since I began my work as a Life Skills coach almost 20 years ago. She was the one who hired me! The opportunity allowed me to reflect on my ties and experiences working with her too.

I'm sure there have been times when she wondered what she was thinking, a sensible thought full introvert, hiring an extraoverted person like me who is unable to ever work under the radar and who has a tendancy to express herself quite readily (I tend to think this is a good thing, but you know for some reason it has stranded me in hot water from time to time...........my feeling? If you've got hot water all around you, steep some tea!) Over the years, we have worked on several projects and intitiatives......our individual gifts and perspectives complimenting. We have talked at length about books, ideas, training, client issues, and family stuff. Like many colleagues I have the pleasure and the blessing to work with, she and I have kept each other informed of our lives outside of the work walls. She knows every major milestone in my life especially with my children as well as I know hers.

There is a lot of sharing of ourselves in my work place. Whether it's due to the nature of the work, or it's the chemistry of the group I tend to gravitate to, I don't know. But, it's there and it's acknowledged openly...........usually with the beginning comment sounding like.........."we are so lucky.............."

These colleague friends are like an extension of family. Though we rarely interact outside of the workday besides bumping into one another at the Market or the grocery store, our 9-5 time spent together is sprinkled with personal vignettes which include everything from holiday updates to stories about our children to our hopes, wishes and dreams for the other people in our lives. Big ceremonies and events are definately acknowledged...........wedding and baby showers and other milestones..........some joyful and some full of sorrow...........but getting together outside of the office for a Saturday night potluck rarely happens.

We know each other well, and like family there have been times when smooth sailing has hit rough waters. It happens. It should happen actually because something broken is impetus to make some changes, and to possibly strengthen a bond. It is the discomfort in the broken mess which forces us to make alterations.........in our perceptions, relationships, in ourselves ultimately. So, needless to say, drama and comedy, miscommunication or too much communication, raw feelings, the company of misery, the sharing of success, different sets of ideas clanging and banging together, have fueled the deepening of our bonds. I have learned more about myself and what it is that drives me in this crazy milieu from the uncomfortable tensions naturally caused by different personalities working together under such emotionally charged circumstances and I think I've helped in the self discovery learning of others.

The group provided me with snippets on bits of paper and I did my best trying to weave them into their song with my melody. I was happy with the end product, but for me it was the process of focusing on the threads in the fabric of our relationships and shared journeys where the personal learning occured. GEEZ, I was up most of the night lost in the threads! I didn't realize how many there were. Part of the reason for my lack of thread insight is the fact that the group involved in this collective piece of writing is now spread out working in three different office buildings on different teams, some doing different work. Me included. As much as I'm only across the street, and am bouncing back and forth between at least two of these offices for consults and file info, you might as well have the great divide between us. So, I had tucked many of these threads and dropped some too over the two years I've been in exile.

We are losing a member of our family tomorrow..........we're launching her out into new adventures she has chosen to pursue and we're really excited for her. She's stepping outside of her own comfort zone and taking a new flight path, knowing we'll be around. In fact in a couple of weeks, we are all launching out of our offices, but instead of taking flight in another direction, we're moving into a brand new building together......all under one roof. Yes, we will congregate as a full department for the first time since three separate departments merged at least 5 years ago. For me personally, it will make all the difference in the world. It is what I came to realize while sorting the threads in the middle of last night as I struggled to write something for a special person in the eyes of many. I will be back in proximity with the others who know me best......the good the bad and the beautiful! :)

Like everyone, I've changed. The lessons strummed by adversity and deep gut tensions were so difficult. Some of what I've experienced I havent even made inroads on as to what the life lesson is supposed to be.......and maybe they were just really awful tasting decoys with nothing to learn from them. I don't know yet. What I do know is that I've changed and most of it has been tugged out of me and wrestled with through my writing. I can't tell you how much writing has helped my sanity. Without it, many more threads would have slipped out of my hands. I will return to the fold sporting a new look, an internally altered look. The feistiness remains, but with more clarity and more inner calm.

I just have one regret.....that my friend who retires tomorrow won't be there for the next phase of development. I think she would've liked the changes I am bringing back to the fold.