Wednesday, July 30, 2008

huh?


Lady sitting in a crowded waiting room of an after hours clinic last night talking on her cellphone........(and may i just add......LOUDLY!!!!!)
"Did you hear about Shirley's mom? She's was in a bad car accident. She's DEAD ..... (pause)....What? She didn't die? Are you sure she didn't die? I heard she did....... pause ......... oh, so when is she going to die?"


I left after that and went to sit in the sun in the parking lot while most of the people stuck in the waiting room, obviously feeling pretty darn crappy or they wouldn't be at an after hours clinic either cringed while trying to tune her out, or laughed out loud. I was laughing and shaking my head at the same time because it seems to happen all the time now......overhearing bizarre snippets of others lives. Cellphones are brutally rude and invasive in the wrong hands!

The problem with my choice to move out into the open was that many others were mingling about waiting their turn, openly conversing about their personal lives, oblivious to the fact that they were surrounded by strangers who really didn't want to hear about it. Not only that, the topics were borish......even some admissions to illegal drug use, and all of it peppered in foul language. You know, the big nasty word bombs, not the smaller fluffier disposable ones.

As my father would say, "he had a mouth on him like a ripped boot......." I always liked that saying........ it makes no sense, and yet it does. Who the hell wants a mouth on them like a ripped boot?? There were ripped boots all over the place. Why is it that men who talk like that, slipping swear words as often as they can into every single sentence uttered from their mouths, also like to hork spit generated from their phlegmy throats while adjusting their manhood at the same time?? What brilliant multi-taskers they are. Did I mention my 10 year old son was with me? Good thing we've let him watch a few Will Ferrell movies lately. Bad mommy............bad, bad mommy.......... I was actually more concerned about him listening to two men openly discuss their partying habits of snorting lines of cocaine like it was acceptable and dissing "the wife" comments than him hearing cuss words.

Where have our boundaries gone? Have they been erased? It seems so, and I blame this partially on Oprah and her ilk for encouraging the universal acceptance of spilling our stuff to anyone within earshot as a therapeutic primal purge rather than bad manners. Has it become a disturbed way of bonding or is it simply disrespectful of other's boundaries? Whatever it is, it's just plain rude.


Our society has been flipped on it's ear when it comes to communicative decorum. And what is so bizarrely contradictory is that we seem to be messing with both ends of the communication continuum. Either we are yapping away on our trusty cell phones (which btw have recently been identified as a cancer causing agent.....like what isn't??) or conversing loudly face to face with buddy fella in the middle of a department store, restaurant, waiting room, subway, grocery store, city bus, line-up, in the LOO for fecks sake.......... or we have unplugged the whole world and turned ourselves into walking internal boom boxes ignoring even the beautiful sounds around us. Its two side of self-absorption. Thinking of oneself first and foremost.



It's a purge or perish kind of existance, and quite frankly I find it disturbing. Either we have a fear of getting lost as a means of learning something about ourselves and need to be in touch with the people in our lives at all times and waking hours, or we float through existance in a blurred earphone zone, untouched by anyone or anything except what is blaring away.



Now before anyone thinks I'm some wingnut do-gooder with a phobia of technology, let me make it perfectly clear that i do see the functionality and FUNality side of it these lovely devices. I'd have them both and use them frequently if I had to commute great stretches everyday. I also love the openness of conversations which happen frequently in this part of the world. People have no trouble falling into a deeply felt conversation with a stranger. It happens everywhere if you want it to. And I guess that's the point. We should always maintain our choice to be a part of what is being discussed and not have it foisted upon us.



Control over who is allowed into our intimate boundaries is just plain healthy. Allowing someone whose pushy and needy to invade your privacy, or simply by their unaware actions demand your involvement isn't healthy whatsoever. Who I let into my own domain is my perogative, as it is for you. But I also believe in the imperativeness of remaining connected and in tune with the world around us too. Why would anyone sit on a beach plugged into Nirvana when in fact it could be absorbed by the sounds of the surf? Why would anyone go for a walk in the woods and not take it in with all of their senses? It makes NO sense.


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have real issues with colleagues, people I don't really even know that well, who feel the need to broadcast intimate details of their sex lives to anyone who'll listen. Maybe TV shows like Oprah, and also reality TV shows where people expose (metaphorically and maybe literally too) themselves for all to see, or maybe people really have just lost all boundaries. It may also be something to do with the need for attention. I've been thinking a lot recently about just how much attention some people seem to need to have from others. It seems pretty childish and selfish to me. But maybe people have some strange need to play out their conversations in public and give people more intimate details than they ever really wanted.

Marja said...

ha a I really had a laugh reading this. Applause I totally agree although Strange that people so easily hang out their dirty laundry without shame.

I don't see the funality of the cellphone. I get nervous because texting takes me ages and it is to expensive to use this phone for fun. I carry it for emergencies and to track down my kids if I have too. Luckily I am very often surrounded by teenagers who love to do the texting for me so that's a pro.

awareness said...

Kamsin....when i first read your comment, my automatic reaction was to wonder if you're working in my office building!! I agree with you...for some reason there is an unquenchable need for attention and reassurance or something. It seems like no topic is off limits anymore....one is open to discuss every sordid detail in public rather than with people we are most intimate with. Perhaps it's because our level of true intimacy has been scaled back.....we don't reach out and share openly with the ones who matter?

marja....confession time.....i have never sent a text in my life! I just got a new cellphone for family tracking stuff, but still use the old chunky one from work (no texting on that one!!)

Baby-Sweet-Pea said...

Awareness, I had to laugh at this one. I am a visual person so I am reading your words and seeing these people sitting in the clinic. hehehe The world is certainly changing....

awareness said...

Baby Sweet Pea.....you may even know some of those kooky characters. I did hear reference to Keswick Ridge and beyond to Zealand! :) You may even have sat in the very same clinic too. The one on Prospect? It's not as busy as the others usually, but for some reason, and there's not even a full moon these days, the Jerry Springer folk were out in full force.....some even stopped for a double double at Tim's before they arrived!

Anonymous said...

Cell phones causing cancer, eh?

Careful there 'Awareness', or the next thing we'll hear from you is something insane like 911 was an inside job.

Just plug your child into his boob-tube and let it soothe away all the nastiness of the world (while making him crave the newest iPhone) - heaven forbid you use the opportunity to point out the harms and pitfalls of modern-day drug abuse.

awareness said...

hey Dan F General. What's up your ass? Oh, your head!

Honestly, why do you even bother to leave such critical shit? Who sucked the sense of humour out of your marrow?

bite me.

Dan F said...

Ah - when push comes to shove, I guess this 'fair place' is as full of anger as the rest of the Irving online propaganda.

I can't say that I'm very surprised.

It's called sarcasm my dear, you might wish to look into it before you drive your loved ones batty with philosophical intransigence.

awareness said...

Hey Dan, guess what?

That was sarcasm too... even wishy washy bleeding hearts know how to zing it.