Surrendering.......

"The harder you try to change, the worse it can get. Does this mean that a certain degree of passivity is all right? Yes, the more you resist something the greater power you give to it.

That's the meaning, I think to Jesus' words: "When someone strikes you on the right cheek, offer him your left as well." You always empower the demons your fight. But if you flow with the enemy, you overcome the enemy. How does one cope with evil? Not by fighting it but by understanding it. In understanding, it disappears.

How does one cope with darkness? Not with one's fist. You don't chase darkness out of a room with a broom, you turn on a light. The more you fight darkness, the more real it becomes to you and the more you exhaust yourself. But when you turn on the light of awareness, it melts.

Say this scrap of paper is a billion dollar cheque. Ah, I must renounce it, the gospel says, I must give it up if I want eternal life. Are you going to substitute one greed -- a spiritual greed -- for the other greed? Before you had a worldly ego and now you've got a spiritual ego, but you've got an ego all the same.......a refinded one and one more difficult to cope with. When you renounce something, you're tied to it. But if instead of renouncing it, I look at it and say......

"Hey, this isn't a billion dollar cheque.....this is a scrap of paper," there is nothing to fight, nothing to renounce.

Anthony de Mello, an excerpt from his book, Awareness.



Here's my other cheek........

I have started to make some career moves in another direction, and it looks as though I have found the river flowing with me. It's not that I have "surrendered" in a manner which i feel defeated. In fact, it feels like a huge weight is leaving my shoulders. This afternoon, I met with someone who helped me make a couple of steps.....baby steps....forward. Names of others were shared from a different network than I am aware of......but one I want to join. New terminology, and a new way of "packaging" my portfolio to reflect a new direction.

It will take time........but it may be that the time is just right. i fought and fought to be able to continue in the realm I had "defined" my skillset.....counselling..... The paradox is that counselling is what I love to do, but it is defining myself as a counsellor which shrinks the box of opportunity. As De Mello writes in his book, Awareness, the labels come and go.......the labels are constantly in flux. It is the "I" which is constant.

I will always be a counsellor in some capacity........I seek out the opportunities, and the opportunities seek me out. Always has, always will. But, I'm surrendering to the labels........and I'm heading downstream on a bright blue inner tube.

"I" will remain..................it is the core of my spirit. Giving in........offering up the other cheek...........not fighting the demons.............is refreshingly helpful.