common ground

when the student is ready, the teacher will appear

Our whole lives consist of a learning curve. From our first breath until our last, we are learning.....by seeing, listening, touching, feeling, and doing.
how to walk and talk and tie our shoes
how to add, subtract, multiply and divide
how to recite the alphabet, print, write, type and tell a story
how to use all the gadgets in our lives
how to cook, clean, iron, wash clothes
how to organize, theorize, intellectualize
how to figure things out
how to take apart, put together, and take apart again.

An accumulation of knowledge.........some useless, some helpful, some meaningful.

Along the way we find our interests, our passions.....
the topics we find most intriguing

Why? What's the point? We can't take any of this with us when we die?

Why do we have such a thirst for learning?

Survival?
To know how to react and act to danger?
To know how to critically analyze and interpret situations?
To be able to interact with others?
To take us closer to understanding our relationships?

I think we learn in order to be able to connect with others
The roles we play allow us to use our knowledge to find common ground
Common ground offers us a foundation to build on our relationships.

Sometimes there are situations we are faced with that test us.....we ask, why do I have to experience this? What am I learning from this heartbreaking moment? Why me? Why me? What's the point of being confronted with pain and anguish?

Sometimes there is no answer.......

I have been thinking a lot today about our learning process and our innate desire to soak up as much of life's lessons as we can. I've also been thinking about how sometimes we are surprised by who the teacher is.

My husband is away spending time with his parents who are both seriously ill and have been for a very long time. Their steady decline in health has been a stressful, complicated, frustrating and mind numbing process for everyone.....on so many levels. My father in law suffers from Alzheimers and Parkinsons has been in the hospital in another province for over a month now. Once a man who radiated a presence when he walked into a room is now confined to his bed because of deep bruising from a fall and he's not able to bear any weight on his one side. He's confused and losing his words. He is losing his learning..........all of it as he lies in his bed in the palliative care ward. Stripped of being able to do the basic tasks for himself, and frustrated by this he has become dependent on others for his personal care.

Our ability to learn and to continue to build on it shores up our confidence and our sense of accomplishment. Learning feeds our innate curiosity, which in turn feeds our awareness, which in turn feeds our hope, which in turn feeds our faith. Learning leads us through a life of learning our faith through the connections we make with others and with God.

Big helpings of hope and faith gives us the sustenance to face our last lesson, understanding and accepting death because it is hope and faith which affirms our lives. Because we have the chance to experience life affirmation, we then can love.

Henri Nouwen writes; "Hope and faith will both come to an end when we die. But love will remain. Love is eternal. Love comes from God and returns to God. When we die, we will lose everything that life gave us except love. The love with which we lived our lives is thelife of God within us. It is the divine, indestructible core of our being. This love not only will remain but will also bear fruit from generation to generation."

I have spoken to my husband daily as we catch up........me on the homefront, and he cocooned in a place where illness and dying are clearly visible. And, it's hard. It's hard for a son to see his Dad lose all his learning. The other night, they watched part of the hockey game together in the hospital room. Watching hockey and enjoying it together is something which connects these two. They both learned to love the game as they have watched many together, or at least discussed specific sports game in telephone conversations over the years. Common ground.

My husband told me that his Dad wasn't really able to watch the game. He was tired and unfocused. What struck me about this time together, is that my husband sat with his Dad and held his hand. Every now and then he would squeeze his Dad's hand, as they spent time together watching the hockey game.

when the student is ready, the teacher appears.........

Despite the health of my father-in-law. Despite the inability to look after himself anymore, he is still the teacher, providing big life lessons about love to his son. It's what matters the most. Love is what remains. All of our learning leads us to this moment. It is hope and faith and our innate desire to learn the things to find the common grounds that allows us to get there, but it is the unconditional sustainable love which is eternal. It is never forgotten.

All of our learning all of our lives designs the path to understanding unconditional love. I believe this learning is our greatest pursuit to finding the calm and overcoming the fear of our own mortality.

Undying love..........it's all that matters...........it never goes away