A Call to Worship

Spencer's Island beach.
Never any traffic.
Always welcoming.

"When your illusions drop, you're in touch with reality at last and believe me, you will never again be lonely, never again. Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality. Contact with reality, dropping one's illusions, making contact with the real. Whatever it is, it has no name. We can only know it by dropping what is unreal. You can only know what aloneness is when you drop your clinging, when you drop your dependency. But the first step toward that is that you see it as desirable. If you don't see it as desirable how will you get anywhere near it?"

Anthony de Mello, an excerpt from his book, Awareness.

It's good to revisit some books. This weekend, I stumbled upon a copy of "Awareness," the book which tripped a light on for me not so long ago.....the book whose title I borrowed for my blog. Such a great word, and more importantly a lifelong learning goal. Awareness. It was a timely book for me to read then, and perhaps even more timely to re-read Anthony de Mello's resonating messages.

Illusions.........dependence on illusions......and on others to "cure" our loneliness or other unfulfilled needs.

A clinging dependence is claustrophobic..........whenever I feel this, it's because I'm feeling insecure, unsure of my own capabilities. I hate this feeling, because I know I'm at a point where I'm so vulnerably lacking in confidence that I'm afraid to venture out, take risks, figure it out. WE all know that sometimes it's really really difficult to face reality when the option is to hide in an illusion.

And yet.......here's the paradox....it is often at this tender point of vulnerability when we come to a place where we are exhausted from the illusive darkness we have fought for so long. We cling, and cling and cling to beliefs, to people, to a way of being until we cannot anymore. Illusions, often masked as shadowy apparitions, we come to realize are not malleable. We can't hold onto them. They don't work. Recognition of real is where illusions will eventually lead us.

Kind of like blind faith, where once it seemed reasonable and full of truth and direction. It eventually reveals itself as a pillar of salt. Blind faith is a crutch. Wide-eyed open faith? It is a place of doubting adoration, a place where questions abound on the nature of our society......on the good and evil that fight it out daily in our world and in our own heads.......a place where worship is interactive, scary and full of messy questioning. Doubting adoration. Worship with reverence, but open to places when a person can simply say.........hey wait a minute.....I don't get it.........OR.............that can't be true.......

De Mello also states..........

"No one else can understand for you. And if what you seek is truth, then you must do this. You can lean on no one."

Hey God, are you there? It's me, Muskie. I've got a bunch of questions for you. But, first of all, I want to thank you for providing me with a brain. Though I'd like to turn it off every now and then and just go with the flow, on most days, I am forever grateful because like everyone, I'm learning to strive for awareness through REAL. Now, here's my first question..................

Why do we have to "fear You?"

Spencer's Island, Nova Scotia.
The village overlooks this island.
Only gulls live there.