Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bring 'em on home to me..........

As part of the new immigration gameplan being brought forward by the Liberals, the federal government is about to fight back against countries trying to poach highly skilled expatriate workers from Canada and mount a campaign to persuade Canadians who have left to return home, according to the Globe and Mail. Those moves are among proposals Immigration Minister Joe Volpe will soon take to cabinet to deal with burgeoning labour shortages. It's part of the notion of changing what we do from being a much more passive receiver of applications into more of a recruiting arm for Canada,” said a government source.

Hey Joe.........I'm all for providing opportunities for fellow Canadians to return home. It sounds like a mighty fine idea. There are a few glitches, though. And I am left with a bunch of questions for you honourable minister sir.............

Where are the heck are the jobs? Am I missing something here? How many computer gaming people do we really need?

Have you been actively schmoozing with the private sector to ensure that there are empty offices to fill? Are they on board with this?

You may have a great slogan in mind for your marketing campaign, but do you have any infrastructure in place to deliver this recruitment service? "Come home to mama" ain't gonna cut it! Yellow ribbons around every maple tree in the country is just plain litter. Show me the jobs. Don't manipulate with emotional diatribe.

Have you decided on the rah rah team that will tour the world looking for long lost homesick Canucks hovering in corners to return to a place where the government has lost all credibility to run the country and who are doling out money for every social cause imaginable to set themselves up for a win in the next election?

Can I make some suggestions?
  • That Mr. Efford fella from Nfld. could be a big help since he isn't doing much to earn his keep and he has some time on his hands. Or be bi-partisan and send Svend out on a jaunt far far away..............
  • Why don't you bring back Sheila from Steeltown? You could just give her a big bullhorn and park her on the front lawn of any European capital city and let her rip out heart rendering versions of Running Back to Saskatoon, Gens du Pays, Farewell to Nova Scotia, Sudbury Saturday Night, or how about the Joe Canadian rant............she'd be great at that. And then, her encore could be the Ti-cat cheer of Oskee Wee Wee. I've seen her act that one out in full fur regalia. It was tear producing. Keep in mind, if you sent "Nobody's Baby" on the road to repatriation, you would be killing two birds with one stone. She'd be out of your face and out of the journalist scrum that I hear she has just joined and is enjoying immensely.
  • Why don't you consider gathering all the Gomery goons, escort them onto a bus painted red and white, sail them down the main street of Helsinki and have them throw hockey pucks with "Come home to Canada" painted on them out the window to curious onlookers? You may get lucky and find one or two errant Canucks.
  • Or, you could brew the largest coffee pot of Tim Horton's best, put a fan behind it to waft the aroma down the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. Those homesick orphans will come running to roll up the rim again.

Just wondering Joe.............
  • What are the key career areas where there is a shortage? Do you even know that? I don't even know that, and I'm working in the field!
  • So, if I have a sister teaching in Asia and she wants to come home, can I get her to call you? Will you line her up with a teaching position here? Is that how it's going to work?
  • What about all the skilled and talented people who are anxiously and frustratingly searching for employment living in Canada already? Why isn't there a gameplan for them? Oh, you didn't know they existed? How could you? They aren't part of the statistical unemployment data that is fudged every month and released as the truth.

Smoke and mirrors.................choke, choke.

These glitches also became abundantly clear when the Lord government made the same pronouncement 2 years ago and then took their team of bureaucrats who work far away from the frontlines (where the work really happens) on the road to various ballrooms from Corner Brook to Sooke and points in between. They schmoozed, served lobster and cold Moosehead, waxed poetically about "home" got everybody revved up, and left. Problem was, they did such a great job, that New Brunswickers living away from home started arranging their vacation time to visit so that they could secure one of the jobs waiting for them at the end of the Saint John River Vally rainbow. When they arrived, though and walked into the "Job Resource Centres" armed with impressive resumes loaded with marketable Master's Degrees, Trade papers, years of experience, the frontline staff had not been informed of the Repatriation plan. They had no jobs to offer except one attached to an earpiece and a 1-800 number located in a rundown abandoned mall.

How does minimum wage work for you? The cost of living is less here, don't you know? Bah!

Hey Joe...................better call the Lord in New Brunswick. He'll give you some pointers before you start accumulating your air miles.

I'm beginning to feel like this going to be one rant filled week.....................yeah............I've got another one formulating already!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are too funny.........
and so is Volpe.....
and so are people that are suckered by politicians like him.....