Wednesday, September 02, 2009

planting and tending....

Early morning and I find myself sitting comfortably in familiar home. There is a nip of autumn in the air and a feeling of seasonal transition all around me as I try to remain in the recent past to gather my thoughts before I step forward into a new day.

I am feeling an intensity, a flooding of feelings pushing and pulling my thoughts into random passages where collages of faces, colour, conversation, quietness, refreshed irritations, and calming waters blend into a montage. The Greenbelt Festival is settling into my being with a roar and a whisper. I may be sitting comfortably here drinking a hot cup of tea from my favourite mug, waiting for the sun to come up over my familiar horizon, but I am no where near feeling comfortable inside. This is a fine place to be. In the discomfort reflection zone. Chances are I will be dwelling here for a while....... digesting.

The theme at the Festival I just tasted for the first time revolved around the seed. The olive seed ... the tiny consequential seed which represents life and peace..... the seed which has the capacity to grow into an ancient zaytoun.... an olive tree. This morning, I am touched by the symbolism and the potential empowerment of one sustained seed.

We plant many, knowing some will germinate and others will find their way back to being soil food. Soil food..... I like that thought.

Even if a lucky seed does germinate the very future of its growth depends on the climate, and the nutrients it receives. It relies on the tenderness of its surroundings. Seeds need attention from the ones who plant them. Even if it is sent out in a scattering wind, eventually it has to fall into place where it can tuck into receptive soil conducive to its needs. Then, it will yield its nurturing fruit for others...... only then. Such a crap shoot really when you think about it. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe we have more influence over the germination than we give ourselves credit for.

Sometimes we plant seeds and can only offer it our hope. But, isn't hope always encased in love?

We are all seed planters.... related to the ancient host of the olive seed. In our hands and in our heart, we have the capacity to scatter pieces of our growth and love to others through our actions and our reactions........ through our choices to reach out to others, and to accept them for who they are.

We are all seed gatherers.....our hands fill with varieties to sift through during reflections... I think it depends on the gaze you choose to use....

to accept or to reject,
to nurture or to drop
to hold onto until the right climate arises.

This weekend, I planted some seeds, and gathered many beautiful new ones. I watered the ones which had already rooted in my life with fellowship and love and saw how much they had grown, and how quickly they have become so dear to me and I hope to them. I left a few dwelling in a place called in the long now knowing that time and perhaps in another space they will grow hearty. Patience, patience is the ingredient. Eternal time and comfort will nurture these precious seeds from a harbour afar. I will feed them with heaps of hope encased in love while they dwell in a place where "nothing is instant....nothing is guaranteed...."

"Each of us carries the promise of life........."


murf said...

Loved this one Musky. It spoke to my soul and reminded me of the importance of caring for those seeds that are planted. Got to go and do some watering and weeding!

Awareness said...

Murf....I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece. I thought of you and Ross and Jeff all weekend because there was so much of Greenbelt that gave me the same feelings as Kawabi did (and still does) You in particular would've loved this festival...
I attended a session on Empathy that was on my mind when I wrote this too, but will try my best to encapsulate my thoughts from that session in another blog post.
Love to you and R. xx

Gilly said...

Festivals like Greenbelt can leave you with overload of impressions, thoughts, dreams, realities so that you are all churned up inside. I've never been to Greenbelt, but I've been to similar ones (though perhaps without the intense spirituality of Greenbelt, I don't know?. Don't let the reality of home incroach too much on you at first, you need time to deal with the challenges and unco-ordinated thoughts and the jumble of information!

I love the theme of olive seed (always thought of it as a sort of nut, but that's me being too literal!) We, hopefully, plant many seeds, and often we never know the outcome. Did they survive? Did others water them, nurture them? What sort of fruit will they bear?

I'm feeling very depressed at the moment as I look back at my life, the lost opportunities, the bad choices, and I wonder if I have ever sown any seed at all? Was it all worth it?

But........ I can't go back and do things differently, so can just hope that something grew!

Awareness said... thoughts are definately uncoordinated and for some reason jet lag decided to kick in two days later. I am trying to straddle both worlds right now and am scrambling to do so.... intense to the max.

I hope you will eventually see that you continue to plant seeds as you just did by leaving me a comment that has made me feel understood....that my feelings are normal. We plant seeds until our last breath. What is so important to remember is that often the seeds we plant is done in a scattering of sorts and we have no idea how they have been received. We touch people every day in so many ways....
our legacies are not ours to assess..... they live on and blend with humanity xx
I hope your depression lifts soon.