ego, definitions and sticky labels

We are what we believe we are

C.S. Lewis

There is a real eagerness as well as pressure from ourselves and others to grab hold of a label or two as a means to define oneself and then to try our very best to stay within the parameters of those darn labels. It makes it easier to "understand" ourselves and others if we know that perhaps we have some of the same stickers on our foreheads or that perhaps our most visible labels are widely different. We THINK we know how to handle the other person. We BELIEVE we know what is expected of ourselves. Then we become walking, talking, thinking, feeling, doing self-fulfilling prophesies don't we? I give you what you want......you give me what I want and we leave it at that.

Spontaneity and authenticity not to mention genuineness only amount to fleeting concepts in this kind of awareness encounter. It seems to me that when this occurs, especially in a long term more meaningful relationship with someone, it marks the beginning of the end especially if the labels are negatively perceived or even perceived as having an expiry date. If there is no growth, no ongoing transformation recognized, we grow weary. Judgement, accusations, criticism festers under these circumstances. If we are expected "to be" one thing and we don't provide this, or we provide it in a different capacity than what is expected, we are dismissed, passed up, ignored. We don't fit the little box they have put us in.


Labels and defining ourselves is more pervasive than just scratching the surface because they impact our feelings and how we act. What we think about ourselves, how we perceive it is all tied in with the judgement of ourselves and from others. We can get holy wrapped in this cellophane, stamped with an expiry date because what happens is that there doesn't seem to be any new growth. We can't see it in ourselves, or worse we stop trying to evolve through personal learning, and others only see us as as a piece of driftwood rather than a living tree. Growth is life. You stop growing, you stop living. Might as well be a shell of your own existance.


We are like sponges soaking in other's perceptions of who we are, what we represent, where we fit in the greater scheme of things, and what makes us tick. Though I believe we are all born with certain gifts which if we are lucky match our personalities and the careers somehow float down into, we are more than what we do for a living, or do as human beings. However, some of our "labels" are deeply imbedded and they do impact the vibes we send out to the world and what we have to offer to others. Though they change shape by the opportunities we seek out to offer them up, they are honed by the amount of use they get and the amount of awareness one has of these particular label gifts.



So much of what we read and see these days on television encourages us to strip away all of our labels because they represent what is termed "ego," and portend to be in the way of ourselves "be"-coming more compassionate for others and for ourselves. Our egos act as hard shells that encase the way we see the world, and the way we see ourselves in the world and they are fed by the labels we stick on your foreheads and parade around. We are encouraged to speak the words "I am" and not add a descriptive to the end of the two words because it allows us to delve deeper into a spiritual core which emanates within us rather than skim our external surfaces to find meaning.

Don't you find it all so confusing?? I mean on one hand, definitions seem to be what people expect and on the other hand we are told that we minimalize ourselves, we compartmentalize ourselves and our way of looking at the world if we use labels.



I am.

I am.

I am.

I am what? Some floating unanchored being?

I dont know if I would ever be able to do this consistently, and I don't know if I want to. The very idea makes me light headed, like I've lost my footing as well as the oxygen to breathe. Having no focal point to describe myself dislodges the anchor that keeps me from floating away. Maybe I'm just too conditioned to strip away "ego." Maybe I am not quite a believer, but it seems to me that this ego offers anchoring balance and perspective, and yet I know that for much of my adulthood I have been involved in a dance of trying to figure out who I am through what i do. I always figured that if I could figure it out perhaps I would find that sense of inner settling I long for. Now, it seems I've gone about it all wrong.


What I do is not who I am. I am not what I do. I guess. Heck, who the hell knows anymore??

It's all so daunting to rip the labels off the forehead and wander nakedly amongst the ether of spiritual awakening! Can I just hold onto a few of those labels? Or maybe I could simply define myself as a human being who just happens to love counselling and teaching? Can I just have one day when I can call myself a writer? I won't burn in hell for doing that now would I? My ego and me have been friends for a while. It's hard to say goodbye to him.

Funny that i see my ego attached to something masculine. It does seem like a boy word. hmmm........