Hey there! I have much to write.....ooooo big surprise there..........and for some reason I needed to store it up in my noggin before I aired it. The focus around here......and by here I mean Burlington because I'm still here having been stranded for a couple of days due to the impotent hurricane named Kyle which in preparation the good people of all things plane like cancelled all flights to the Maritimes last night, was on my parent's 50th anniversary party, which by the way went very well. More to come on that......
So, I have a couple more vacation days ahead of me and if I wanted to be stranded anywhere it would be in my parent's home where I grew up. They've got everything here, including indoor plumbing and the internet! Lots of tea and wine too, so I'm roughing it really..........taking a sipping of tea.........
I started this blogpiece on Friday and didn't finish it. Like a good stubborn Virgo, I am determined to post it. However, I finished it once this morning after messing around with it and making it all pretty only to have the blogger gremlins eat the damn thing. I was so pissed! So, I have now soaked in the bathtub, puttered around, got dressed, made another cup of strong tea and here I am.....
what is so ironic is that the piece is........well............a glowing tribute to the love of all things blog and of writing. I waxed too poetic I think and made God gag with my self absorbed gushing. Humility washes over again. I have now tightened the piece, pulled out some of the gooey bits, and left some and am now ready to push publish again. And after that.........??? I plan to write more today. Hey! I've got a freebie day. Why the heck not? My head is full and spinning with ideas. Gotta make them come to fruition, right? What's the point of having a thought if it is not expressed. Thoughts float in a big hot breath of ether they arent harnessed to a few chosen words, right?
______________________
Airing a few bits of Laundry
I didn't know I was in a state of sleep a few years ago until I woke up. I thought it was a normal way of being. Somehow I had wandered away from my own nucleus while keeping pace with the expectations and responsibilities of the roles I had comfortably fallen into. It happens to all of us at some point I think, especially if there are other more pressing demands in our lives. Of course, we choose most of them...... most of which fall under one or more of the following categories ..... marriage, a career, parenthood, family, friendships, community. I'm sure we could all make a list of at least 20 different roles we assume in the run of one day!
There is a certain time in our lives, however, when all of those areas need attention all at once until they find a place in our own mosaic. There are very few days when they all seem to be in sync......in balance. There are fewer days when you can add yourself to the mix. It's like a carnival midway, with the roller coaster smack dab in the middle of it all ..... the multi-sensory colour, movement and chaos of our busy lives is a mezmerizing allure which pulls us right into the noisy hum. Its easy to get lost in the midway.......finding your way out can be tricky even if you try to retrace your steps. All of a sudden, you're surrounded by motion that is disconnected to you and if you don't stop to regroup, you may end up in a kooky hall of mirrors where your reflections of who you are, what you want, where you're actually headed become totally distorted. There is a miasmic sense to it.....like your soul going on a bender.
Though it seemed at the time that it was one moment of clarity, in hindsight it was an accumulative process similar to waking in the morning when we go from REM sleep to really opening your eyes. The previous winter, I was involved in a train the trainer workshop on teaching a program called "PLAR" (which stands for Prior Learning and Recognition). It is a portfolio development program to guide individuals through a process of identifying their own skills and gifts that they have gathered during their lives by reviewing their interests, listing their formal coursework but more importantly identifying what they have learned and what knowledge they've acquired both while working, living, schooling and playing. Part of the train the trainer homework was to develop my own portfolio and then present it to the group.
At first, I hesitated to take the course. Originally it seemed too light and fluffy......too trendy and unhelpful. Now I wonder if I was simply digging my heels in because I didn't want to "wake up." I still wanted to laze around a bit longer. Who knows? Once I pulled out the big basket of old photos, letters, certificates and various and sundry bits from my past, however, and started going through it while sipping on a glass of wine one night, I fell right into a trip down memory lane and had a blast. It sounds so self absorbed as I write this and think about how I want to describe the feeling, but it felt like a self imposed reunion. I had forgotten, or perhaps had just stored much of me........had simply tossed it into a big basket and closed the lid. But the more I read and revisited little snippets from my past, I saw the silouette fill in with colour. The process helped me move from REM to awakening, or at least brought me to a place where i was ready to open my eyes.
That spring of 2005, a friend of mine invited me to tag along to Quebec City for a couple of days. She was heading up there for some meetings with colleagues at Laval University and wanted company for the travel. Well, this was her explanation, but given that she has travelled around the world, in hindsight I now think she realized she could offer me a couple of days of wandering on my own as a means of letting me find my way again. That's exactly what I did. I needed it. I wandered around taking in la belle ville, seulement. Because it was pre-tourista season, I had the place to myself........the cobblestone streets of Old Quebec, the boardwalk overlooking the Saint Lawrence river with the Chateau Frontenac looming beside me.........the Plains of Abraham where school kids were acting out the battle scenes of an important historical moment in our Canadian collective history. I kept walking and walking, filling myself with good air, and pushing out the cobwebs. My pen remained untouched. My new journal uncracked. But, it was the beginning of my own spring.....I could feel it in my step. (Hey, thanks Helen!! You are a wise woman and I will travel with you anytime...I hear you're going to Germany next week. Can I come??)
A series of events three years woke me up and made me step out of that pseudo-comfort zone where i felt safe but basically lost in the carnival midway. The following summer of meeting a new friend, reuniting with old friends, reacquainting myself to the possibility of there being a God out there, reading new books........well new to me........brought me to my pen and journal again. Writing it down in one sentence doesn't give it the justice it deserves as to how it truly impacted my journey. Not only was it altered, my journey took on more clarity. It stirred my motivation, set fire to the yearnings i had stuck on the back burner. Consequently, one of the biggest changes happened when I set up a blog. This blog......and named it after one of the books I had just read.....
Today I celebrate 3 years blogging. There have been times in the past year when I have seriously thought about closing it down, especially when the writing and the ideas seemed to be drying up or when it felt like a chore instead of a joy. But, those times have been few and far between and were quickly erased whenever I received feedback on a piece i had written or when I was able to capture the essence of my thoughts. Through blogging, I have found a place where my love of writing can be captured and shared. Through blogging, I have had the opportunity to not only meet many of you through the virtual world tying us together in a way that no other means has been ever able to do......I have had a chance to meet some of you in person. Through blogging, my love of travel regained momentum.........and I took a flight to across the pond to truly touch fingertips with new dear friends Pip, Joan and Katie.
The journey continues as do the connnections and the reunions. The Greenbelt Festival is most definately on the horizon, where I intend to be, reuniting and meeting a soul friend I feel like I've known all my life and beyond.
I started this blogpiece on Friday and didn't finish it. Like a good stubborn Virgo, I am determined to post it. However, I finished it once this morning after messing around with it and making it all pretty only to have the blogger gremlins eat the damn thing. I was so pissed! So, I have now soaked in the bathtub, puttered around, got dressed, made another cup of strong tea and here I am.....
what is so ironic is that the piece is........well............a glowing tribute to the love of all things blog and of writing. I waxed too poetic I think and made God gag with my self absorbed gushing. Humility washes over again. I have now tightened the piece, pulled out some of the gooey bits, and left some and am now ready to push publish again. And after that.........??? I plan to write more today. Hey! I've got a freebie day. Why the heck not? My head is full and spinning with ideas. Gotta make them come to fruition, right? What's the point of having a thought if it is not expressed. Thoughts float in a big hot breath of ether they arent harnessed to a few chosen words, right?
______________________
Airing a few bits of Laundry
I didn't know I was in a state of sleep a few years ago until I woke up. I thought it was a normal way of being. Somehow I had wandered away from my own nucleus while keeping pace with the expectations and responsibilities of the roles I had comfortably fallen into. It happens to all of us at some point I think, especially if there are other more pressing demands in our lives. Of course, we choose most of them...... most of which fall under one or more of the following categories ..... marriage, a career, parenthood, family, friendships, community. I'm sure we could all make a list of at least 20 different roles we assume in the run of one day!
There is a certain time in our lives, however, when all of those areas need attention all at once until they find a place in our own mosaic. There are very few days when they all seem to be in sync......in balance. There are fewer days when you can add yourself to the mix. It's like a carnival midway, with the roller coaster smack dab in the middle of it all ..... the multi-sensory colour, movement and chaos of our busy lives is a mezmerizing allure which pulls us right into the noisy hum. Its easy to get lost in the midway.......finding your way out can be tricky even if you try to retrace your steps. All of a sudden, you're surrounded by motion that is disconnected to you and if you don't stop to regroup, you may end up in a kooky hall of mirrors where your reflections of who you are, what you want, where you're actually headed become totally distorted. There is a miasmic sense to it.....like your soul going on a bender.
Though it seemed at the time that it was one moment of clarity, in hindsight it was an accumulative process similar to waking in the morning when we go from REM sleep to really opening your eyes. The previous winter, I was involved in a train the trainer workshop on teaching a program called "PLAR" (which stands for Prior Learning and Recognition). It is a portfolio development program to guide individuals through a process of identifying their own skills and gifts that they have gathered during their lives by reviewing their interests, listing their formal coursework but more importantly identifying what they have learned and what knowledge they've acquired both while working, living, schooling and playing. Part of the train the trainer homework was to develop my own portfolio and then present it to the group.
At first, I hesitated to take the course. Originally it seemed too light and fluffy......too trendy and unhelpful. Now I wonder if I was simply digging my heels in because I didn't want to "wake up." I still wanted to laze around a bit longer. Who knows? Once I pulled out the big basket of old photos, letters, certificates and various and sundry bits from my past, however, and started going through it while sipping on a glass of wine one night, I fell right into a trip down memory lane and had a blast. It sounds so self absorbed as I write this and think about how I want to describe the feeling, but it felt like a self imposed reunion. I had forgotten, or perhaps had just stored much of me........had simply tossed it into a big basket and closed the lid. But the more I read and revisited little snippets from my past, I saw the silouette fill in with colour. The process helped me move from REM to awakening, or at least brought me to a place where i was ready to open my eyes.
That spring of 2005, a friend of mine invited me to tag along to Quebec City for a couple of days. She was heading up there for some meetings with colleagues at Laval University and wanted company for the travel. Well, this was her explanation, but given that she has travelled around the world, in hindsight I now think she realized she could offer me a couple of days of wandering on my own as a means of letting me find my way again. That's exactly what I did. I needed it. I wandered around taking in la belle ville, seulement. Because it was pre-tourista season, I had the place to myself........the cobblestone streets of Old Quebec, the boardwalk overlooking the Saint Lawrence river with the Chateau Frontenac looming beside me.........the Plains of Abraham where school kids were acting out the battle scenes of an important historical moment in our Canadian collective history. I kept walking and walking, filling myself with good air, and pushing out the cobwebs. My pen remained untouched. My new journal uncracked. But, it was the beginning of my own spring.....I could feel it in my step. (Hey, thanks Helen!! You are a wise woman and I will travel with you anytime...I hear you're going to Germany next week. Can I come??)
A series of events three years woke me up and made me step out of that pseudo-comfort zone where i felt safe but basically lost in the carnival midway. The following summer of meeting a new friend, reuniting with old friends, reacquainting myself to the possibility of there being a God out there, reading new books........well new to me........brought me to my pen and journal again. Writing it down in one sentence doesn't give it the justice it deserves as to how it truly impacted my journey. Not only was it altered, my journey took on more clarity. It stirred my motivation, set fire to the yearnings i had stuck on the back burner. Consequently, one of the biggest changes happened when I set up a blog. This blog......and named it after one of the books I had just read.....
Today I celebrate 3 years blogging. There have been times in the past year when I have seriously thought about closing it down, especially when the writing and the ideas seemed to be drying up or when it felt like a chore instead of a joy. But, those times have been few and far between and were quickly erased whenever I received feedback on a piece i had written or when I was able to capture the essence of my thoughts. Through blogging, I have found a place where my love of writing can be captured and shared. Through blogging, I have had the opportunity to not only meet many of you through the virtual world tying us together in a way that no other means has been ever able to do......I have had a chance to meet some of you in person. Through blogging, my love of travel regained momentum.........and I took a flight to across the pond to truly touch fingertips with new dear friends Pip, Joan and Katie.
The journey continues as do the connnections and the reunions. The Greenbelt Festival is most definately on the horizon, where I intend to be, reuniting and meeting a soul friend I feel like I've known all my life and beyond.
The power of the pen, and the power of the blog along with the Virgo determination to pour it out as best I can have opened up big windows that overlook an amazing vista of possibilities.....I see the midway now as an adventure to be explored. It may offer up kooky reflections every now and then, but it also offers amazing excitement.
ps. thank you you all for a great 3 year ride so far................onward we go! A special thank you to my Finnan friend for introducing me to that land of blog and a place to tether my thoughts. No coincidences, right? It's all in the illusion of the stars....right?
6 comments:
Sounds like you are having a terrible time being "stuck" there. : ) I'm so glad you decided to continue with your posts. I can't imagine not having you as part of my daily routine. There are many times that I am thinking something and then I pop on to see what you have to say for the day and it is exactly what I was thinking so eloquently communicated. Here's to another 3-6-9 years. Cheers!
Thank YOU for the three years. My life is enriched because I met you out here in the sphere....
Congratulations on your 3 years and I wish for many more. I agree.
hey bsp.....Yes, no problems with being "stuck!" So often I feel like I just babble on and on with no clear focus. when you leave me a comment letting me know that perhaps i may have made sense (or it could be that we drink water from the same river and see the world with the same sustenance?) I am totally pumped. thanks.
layla.......one day i want to see your piece of the world....we'll have such fun. when we do meet up in californeeeeeeeaaaaaaa......i wanna go to a concert with you!
judy.....thank you! I love visiting your blog and feel the same way. btw I heard a couple of doooozy names for you list...will send them your way. Also, lots and lots of flowers adorn my parents home for the party....love the colour and the designs!
Well, a Very Happy Three Year Blogaversary, my dear....! I'm so glad the we connected through Blogging, Dana....It is really an amazing journey--this Blogging Trip--Isn't it? I'm so vrery glad that your trip to Quebec opened the door to your Pen, once again, and to putting all those wonderfully fascinating thoughts and feelings of yours on paper or in Cyberspaces Virtual Paper!
May you continue to blog for many many years to come, my dear Dana...You are a gift to all of us who have gotten to know you through your blog...!
Incidentally, my Blogaversary is coming round very soon, too! I actually have two of them....October 6th or 7th--I cannot remember exactly---And then my second blog---the one you read, which I started one month later, November, 2005!
Congratulations Dana on three yeas of blogging.
Thats quite some book you've got going there... here I mean ...:)
Doesn't seem like yesterday we were wandering the streets of London together...what a year it's been so far...
catch you next year with the rest of my family, x
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