da budget.......101

The countdown has begun for another unveiling of yet another federal budget. A bunch of journalists have been sequestered without palm pilots, cellphones, laptops and other tools of the trade.........what no access to bloggerland??...............as they read and review the goobley-gook called da budget.

For anyone who doesn't follow political budget drama, I would like to offer you a high level overview synopsis of what will likely unfold over the course of the next couple of days. First of all, let me explain the four types of budgets for your reading pleasure. Oh, BTW.....it doesn't matter which level of government it is.......it applies

There is...............

1. The pre-election budget, where the Finance Minister always buys a new pair of shiny leather shoes. 5000 bureaucrats spend taxpayers dollars crunching numbers, holding marathon meetings with various departmental representatives to hear their pleas on increasing individual spending power, holding other marathon meetings rolling up the rim, chewing on crullers, while deciding where to SPEND the money. Thats KEY. The pre-election budget is a foot stomping, hand clapping, back patting yeller from the rooftops spending spree.....gifts to the masses................... or at least the ridings that need "shorin' up bye jaysus"

gone are the days when money was handed out to the voters just outside of the voting station. NO, can't do that.........it has to be disguised as a budget.


2. The post-election budget, new party, where the Finance Minister explains that he/she will be wearing the same old loafers, but has bought a new tie that the word "whoa is me" on it. This is slash and burn, cut all coattails because the other party blew too much money during their reign budget. It doesn't matter who is in power or who was in power.....it's as predictable as a snowstorm on St Paddy's day. Lots of finger pointing during this blame game. Ironically, the post-election budget never seems to cover any key promises made in the election. The provincial budget delivered not too long ago did have a spin on it. Graham's government decided to add the new twist............pass the budget cuts to the departments. I think that's called keeping one's fingers non-smelly.

3. Stay the course budget........slim, trim with little minefields undercover. Enough hot air to fill a balloon, but very little substance. It often comes around the same time as a cabinet shuffle.

4. Averting a big issue budget........this is a tactic budget used to point the voting masses in a different direction if something/spending has gone awry. The sole purpose is to get the REAL story off the front page of the local rag.

Today, we will receive a pre-election budget. My predictions.............new shoes, lots of cashola, bright green this time because Harper is trying to project his GREEEEEEENNNNNN image....so many references to the environment, even if they don't make any sense. Projects and dollars will be spread across the country..........all legit, I'm sure......but ALL at the same time!!


Atfer the big budget speech?

Be prepared for the following.

• lots of politicians will hate it
• lots of politicians will love it
• lots of air time will be used up talking to the experts
• some experts will love it
• some experts will hate it.

Question period will be a field of accusing, filibustering, whining, cheering, jeering and postering. Nothing will get accomplished. Life will go on outside of the hallowed halls of parliament.

End of lesson 1............ Any questions? Good. I strongly suggest you tune into Deal or No Deal tonight to observe Howie Mandels Obessive Compulsive behaviour rather than Peter Mansbridge's town hall budget analysis. I guarantee Howie will be more enlightening, and a helluva lot more fun. Perhaps, choosing the million dollar suitcase is less predicable than the budget? methinks so.