I am sitting in the reliable stillness of my living room sipping on the first cup of reliable hot tea as I read this blessing in quiet whisper to myself this morning before daylight comes .... before my children wake up to start a new week .... before my feet really hit the ground running to help orchestrate a new week of work/school/life routine. It may become a new part of my routine because by the time I reached the end of Father O'Donohue's blessing, I could literally feel a lift in my spirit. I could hear his beautiful Irish poetic voice too.
Many friends have warned me............ expect the "dips....." It will be difficult for a long time. So far they are right on. As much as I expect the reality "dips," there is no way of predicting them, nor knowing presently just how deep the plunge can feel. I expect the dips and when they come, I let go. However, I also expect moments of release too. And when they arrive, I embrace them with a full heart. I give thanks to the support I have all around me, including friends who are far away, linked to me heart to hear through this blog.
Sundays will the be most difficult day for me. When it comes to Sundays, dinner and all the makings are a traditional grounding for me and my family. There is nothing that I love more than Sunday afternoons spent at home cooking, planning, listening to music and interviews on the radio knowing my family is somewhere in the house doing their own thing. It prepares me for the upcoming busy week, while it helps me clear my head. Yesterday, as I was told very clearly that there was no hope for reconciliation, no desire to work on the vows we took over 22 years ago. In the middle of a Sunday afternoon. The dips arrived....... BIG TIME.
Then they left me in peace. It took a while, and it took reaching out and asking for friend and family fuel. But, I found peace. By the end of the evening........ after I had made dinner and fed my family under a different scenario, I found myself sharing stories with my daughter who cuddled up onto the couch to introduce to me a new song........ one it turns out she listens to every night as part of her routine to find sleep. We laughed and shared, and she helped me find peace.
This morning, it is my turn...... to lead them into a new week, a different kind of week and routine. Similar but different. Because now? Now, I have these beautiful words by Father John O'Donohue to lift me up out of resentment for a while to see hope to give thanks. Let daylight begin....
Somewhere, out at the edges, the night
is turning and the waves of darkness
Begin to brighten the shore of dawn.
The heavy dusk falls back on earth
And the freed air goes wild with light.
The heart fills with fresh, bright breath
And thoughts stir to give birth to colour.
I arise today
In the Silence
Womb of the Word
In the name of Stillness
Home and Belonging,
In the name of the Solitude
Of the Soul and the Earth,
I arise today.
Blessed by all things,
Wings of breath
Delight of eyes,
Wonder of whisper,
Intimacy of touch,
Eternity of the soul,
Urgency of thought
Miracle of health,
Embrace of God.
May I live this day.
Compassionate of heart,
Clear in word,
Gracious in awareness,
Courageous in thought,
Generous in love.
John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us.
Expect the dips.........embrace the moments when a blessing can carry you back to hope. I think it will be a new mantra to help lead us into the unknown. One day at a time, right? One day at a time. A new one is dawning........... I arise today.