I am sitting in the reliable stillness of my living room sipping on the first cup of reliable hot tea as I read this blessing in quiet whisper to myself this morning before daylight comes .... before my children wake up to start a new week .... before my feet really hit the ground running to help orchestrate a new week of work/school/life routine. It may become a new part of my routine because by the time I reached the end of Father O'Donohue's blessing, I could literally feel a lift in my spirit. I could hear his beautiful Irish poetic voice too.
Many friends have warned me............ expect the "dips....." It will be difficult for a long time. So far they are right on. As much as I expect the reality "dips," there is no way of predicting them, nor knowing presently just how deep the plunge can feel. I expect the dips and when they come, I let go. However, I also expect moments of release too. And when they arrive, I embrace them with a full heart. I give thanks to the support I have all around me, including friends who are far away, linked to me heart to hear through this blog.
Sundays will the be most difficult day for me. When it comes to Sundays, dinner and all the makings are a traditional grounding for me and my family. There is nothing that I love more than Sunday afternoons spent at home cooking, planning, listening to music and interviews on the radio knowing my family is somewhere in the house doing their own thing. It prepares me for the upcoming busy week, while it helps me clear my head. Yesterday, as I was told very clearly that there was no hope for reconciliation, no desire to work on the vows we took over 22 years ago. In the middle of a Sunday afternoon. The dips arrived....... BIG TIME.
Then they left me in peace. It took a while, and it took reaching out and asking for friend and family fuel. But, I found peace. By the end of the evening........ after I had made dinner and fed my family under a different scenario, I found myself sharing stories with my daughter who cuddled up onto the couch to introduce to me a new song........ one it turns out she listens to every night as part of her routine to find sleep. We laughed and shared, and she helped me find peace.
This morning, it is my turn...... to lead them into a new week, a different kind of week and routine. Similar but different. Because now? Now, I have these beautiful words by Father John O'Donohue to lift me up out of resentment for a while to see hope to give thanks. Let daylight begin....
Matins
Somewhere, out at the edges, the night
is turning and the waves of darkness
Begin to brighten the shore of dawn.
The heavy dusk falls back on earth
And the freed air goes wild with light.
The heart fills with fresh, bright breath
And thoughts stir to give birth to colour.
I arise today
In the Silence
Womb of the Word
In the name of Stillness
Home and Belonging,
In the name of the Solitude
Of the Soul and the Earth,
I arise today.
Blessed by all things,
Wings of breath
Delight of eyes,
Wonder of whisper,
Intimacy of touch,
Eternity of the soul,
Urgency of thought
Miracle of health,
Embrace of God.
May I live this day.
Compassionate of heart,
Clear in word,
Gracious in awareness,
Courageous in thought,
Generous in love.
John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us.
Expect the dips.........embrace the moments when a blessing can carry you back to hope. I think it will be a new mantra to help lead us into the unknown. One day at a time, right? One day at a time. A new one is dawning........... I arise today.
17 comments:
it's really good to read.
what beautiful words, i guess i needed those this morning too. i send you love.
i just seen your reply on the previous post, thank you so much for the offer and i will take you up on it when i have my car fixed hopefully in the next couple of moth♥
Life can only be taken one day at a time. We never know what is round the corner.
So hold on to that blessing, Dana, it is so beautiful. Wish I could hear an Irish voice blessing me!
Blessings from me to you, anyway!
Dana:
I have enjoyed reading John O'Donohue and I am glad that his words have given you a new assurance. Its amazing how different authors with their words enable us to get a grip of the situation and our mind. There have been so many like that who have helped me invisibly through the narrow and dark passages of life.
May God be with you and lead you one day at a time. Just remember that we are more than conquerors.
Courage and passion,
Susan
a great way to start the day...thank you!
Hey Dana,
reading your blog on my iPod from Florida
... thinking of you , knowing you will have those dips, also knowing you have incredible strengh and spirit that will see you through this time.
Take care Dana
Wow....sending lots of great vibes your way. One day at a time is the key...LIVE THIS DAY. Great words. You do that and that's half the battle. XX
Great poem, thanks for sharing. Know that everything happens with a reason. All will be well.
I just feel so sad for you and so MAD. I mean, how could any man in his right mind want to leave you? But more than being mad I want to offer my support anytime. Let that blessing sustain you, Dana. You are loved very much by all of us XXX
Why thank you Austin.
Twain... love back at ya! The blessing is one of many in Father O's book. Some lift me while others touch a deep chord. His writing is beautiful. Fling me an email when you're ready. Maybe we could go fiddle heading this spring? I've never done that before. :)
Gilly.... We sure don't. I'm not very good at taking things one day at a time, but I am trying not to get ahead of myself thinking and feeling and planning. But, it goes against my grain.
Irish voices are the best. I often wonder if God has an irish accent. I think He does. :)
Susan... Father O's words have resonated with me from the moment I was introduced to his poetry a few years back by a dear friend and former blogger. Since then, I have read all of his works, and watched a few videos of his speeches..... and mourn the fact that I will never have a chance to be in the audience to listen to him. However, heaven awaits, and dammit, I'm hoping there's a dram of something sitting there waiting for me when I finally get to meet the guy.
We are more than conquerors.... and I thank you for that reminder. Please remind me again and again, ok? I do get all fired up and full of myself way too often.
Kay...I think I will incorporate it into may days ahead. Good to see you again. I havent been by many blogs lately, but will soon. I miss your poetry.
Joyce.... thank you xx :) I spent a lovely morning on a front porch you know well having coffee and getting good advice from the sagely one. :) And I spent Sat. night with Barbie who nurture and fed me....... then got me drunk on her homemade wine. The folks at 2 NC have been loving and wonderful sending me their thoughts and care.
when the fog lifts more, I will surrender myself to Mary to help me get back in shape. I will be her ultimate project. :)
I am blessed by all the support. And so grateful.
As I continue to work through another form of grief, I find myself deeply moved by your journey, too. I wish you didn't have to take it. I wish life didn't have so many dips along the way.
Tomorrow marks six months since our world changed. It gets better. Slowly and fitfully. But somehow, we find traction in the things that matter, and we learn how to navigate the changed landscape.
Dana:
I shall remind you over and over. That's my pleasure and honour.
Courage and love always,
Susan
Dana:
All my love goes out to you.
You are strong that is true ,no doubt about it, but you are a woman also who needs to grieve and have your moments. I want so bad for you to know that I will be there in a heartbeat if you ever need me.
Mavis
Oh Dana....I feel as if I have let you down badly. I haven't been blogging much lately, in fact I just wrote my last post for the foreseeable future.
I had no idea what you were going through. Please...Please remember I am here if you need me. I am so sorry you have to go through this and hope the road ahead will be as smooth as possible for all of you.
Big hugs my friend.
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