Get Real

Lots of bloggie ideas are swimming through my head this morning all vying for attention. They will have to wait on the back burner because one particular thorn in my side needs to be pulled out.

Yesterday I spent an eternity in a boardroom in the bowels of an office building sitting through a "strategic planning" exercise in futility. The potential for amazing connections went untapped as we were force fed a theoretical process of "mapping" out how we can work together. Meanwhile, as the facilitator who is obviously a wounded individual who needed to seek affirmation by describing ALL that she has personally done for the betterment of our government department instead of allowing the bright lights around the table to share their frontline wisdom and stories, I could feel my blood pressure rise and my "jiggy" feet start scrambling under the table. It took all of my energy not to bolt.

Yes, I was triggered on many levels and thought I was alone in reacting this way until mid-way though the meeting when we were able to step outside for a break. Then, I heard others frustrations. It was good to know I wasn't alone. Anger and frustration filled the outside air with gusto.

Selfishly I strongly felt that I should be the one up their leading this meeting. Instead, the powers that be decided it would be best to bring someone in with a background in organization design who works at a higher planning level in our government department so that I could take part in the conversation with my peers. That backfired. The only add-ons I wanted to contribute were four letter words. So perhaps it was a "good thing" that the facilitator had her own agenda and decided to TALK rather than facilitate so that I didn't go off the deep end of expletives...........Geesh. That would only have led to trouble and humble apologies on my guilty part.

For the first time ever, which I find unbelievable in itself, a group of us.........all of whom work in some capacity with families............all of whom work under the auspices of "prevention" have been given an opportunity to develop an alliance. We all work under different divisions and supervisors within our department.........social services, housing, social assistance. Our offices are spread out under different roofs. And our computer systems are not linked. So, for example, I may be working with an individual counselling them and trying to help them take a step forward into the world of work at the same time as another frontline worker may be dealing with this same individual and his family because they have major issues with their skills as parents. It's the classic example of not knowing what both hands are up to. It is classic bureaucracy muddled....... drives me batty.

Some of the staff work in a community development capacity. A few work with kids in the school system. One woman provides wonderful programs for parents in the community. There was a home economist, an early childhood intervention worker, a few Case Managers, a woman who inspects and licenses daycares and who arranges for interventions for children in need. One dynamic friend and colleague is doing amazing things with the families in public housing communities. We were all brought together to meet one another and to learn about each other's programs and talents. It's an impressive group of women (yes all women) who share a compassion for the frontlines, who WANT to band together to provide our programs and services in a more cohesive manner.

Yesterday was our third time meeting together this fall. The first two meetings were productive in that we shared parts of ourselves. Everyone had a chance to offer a glimpse of what they are doing and who they are. It was exciting, informative and helpful. The sharing and chatting automatically led to informal connections. Our personalities along with our emotional dedication to working with people shone through. What we needed yesterday was not a mind numbing pre-designed template to fit into. What we needed was a forum.............a FORUM...........to answer a few questions and most importantly to build the trust.

What do we need so that we can feel connected? How can we forge a "team" of compassionate individuals who are all doing good work but feeling like they are all alone in their quest to help families under the umbrella of prevention. How can we move out of always "reacting" to crises and situations to prevention. If I meet with a person in need...........how can I arranged to get all the skilled frontliners who can help them together........with the client in the lead.........with the client feeling supported? Everyone around the table had the answers. Except, whenever anyone stepped out of the template box to offer one, the facilitator promptly lashed out to give a lecture on the importance of process before arriving to the end product. It was an "I know best" attitude coupled with the message that one must suffer to be rewarded or some such twisted thing.

Can you see why I wanted to bark bark bark???

It was a classic Transactional Analysis situation.......................Facilitator acting as "parent" and participants reacting like "children".........or wanting to. Grrrrr............

Be patient..........I say to myself. Now that we have met..........now that we know one another a little bit, we will find a way to pull our talents together. It will happen because we all want it to. Our philosophies are the same and our hearts are in the same place. We are the people who see and experience "real" situations with the clients........and want to make a difference. We will make it turn from some theoretical mapping template bullshit process to real connections. However, before that will happen we have to meet AGAIN because us bad little kiddies talked too much and didn't finish the exercise in futility.

Shaking my head.............seeing the absurdity.................hoping the facilitator somehow gets her own needs met.